Last Chance
by salianne
Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear?  AU
1. Chapter 1

Title: Last Chance

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~4300

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

AN: I've been sitting on this start of a chaptered story for over a year (this is only one of 20 that I've yet to finish!) - so I am just going to throw it out there and see what happens. I made a couple of adjustments so it could read as a one-shot. It seems so cliche' to me so I wasn't going to share it - but what the hell. Some of us can't seem to get enough of this particular over-done NG formula! (Apparently I can't!) So - if you want more from this particular universe, you'll have to let me know. I've got lots of ways to mess with the boys before the usual happy ending. But for now - unless I hear from you that you can tolerate more of this remix of the same old thing - consider this as just me feeding my angst addiction. ;o)

_**Greg's POV:**_

Greg opened his eyes only to slam them shut again when the harsh light of the emergency room hit his retinas. He felt as if every bone and muscle in his body had been slammed with a sledge hammer - hell - he thought he may have discovered new parts of himself through the intense pain. His last thought before he dived into the relief of unconsciousness was: _How the hell did I end up back here - again?_

Greg cautiously opened his eyes again, thinking he would be assaulted by bright lights. Instead, he found himself in a dimly lit hospital room with the distinct sounds of beeping and whirring that he had appreciated so much after Nick had been pulled up from the grave. He remembered thinking that the sounds of machinery meant Nick was alive - and he was grateful. Greg closed his eyes - he felt so tired.

Sara sat in a chair next to his bed when he opened his eyes the next time. She was reading a book with one hand on his arm. Greg loved that Sara, his best friend, was with him. He was also sad that it wasn't Nick - sad but not surprised. It was never Nick.

Sara filled him in on the details he couldn't remember. The van that slammed into him was driven by the father of a young girl who had been murdered the previous year. Apparently, the alleged perpetrator was acquitted due to a lack of evidence. Father blamed the investigators - Greg was the unlucky CSI who happened to walk into the parking lot at the exact moment Father plowed through looking for a target wearing a CSI vest. The minivan was traveling at a rate of speed estimated to be between 35-45 mph when it impacted with Greg's body. The force of the impact threw Greg 10 feet - until he was stopped by the brick wall of the lab. As Greg lay slumped against the building, Father backed up, slamming into several parked cars, and once he had backed out of the parking lot entrance and into the street, he slammed his foot on the gas and raced toward Greg's battered body. It was Father's intention to crush Greg like a bug, and he would have had it not been for the big, black truck that crossed in front of the speeding van, taking the hit before Greg could be harmed any further.

Greg knew without being told that the big, black truck belonged to Nick. Nick had sacrificed his beloved F-150 to save Greg. Somehow, that didn't make Greg feel any better because what he needed was to have Nick sitting here - touching his hair. But, Greg knew Nick wouldn't come. Greg knew that he would not see Nick until Nick felt that no one would be around to witness it.

Nick had become good at hiding his feelings - if in-fact he had feelings - for Greg. Remarkably - after nearly 7 years together - _**no one**_ knew. They had never spent a holiday together. Ever. Not even Valentine's Day. One year Greg had begged - literally - for Nick to stay with him for Christmas. He told Nick that he would sacrifice the holiday with his family if Nick would do the same. Greg cried, fell to his knees, gripped Nick's hands and pleaded for Nick NOT to walk out the door and fly away from him. Nick pulled his hands from Greg's grip, told him to stop being so ridiculous, and walked away for a week in Texas. Greg noticed a small wrapped present under the tree two days later - from Nick - it was a Marilyn Manson CD - he already had that one.

The first time Greg landed in the hospital he had been fired through the glass wall of the lab like a canon ball. The searing pain in his back and neck was excruciating - he thought he had never felt anything so painful in his life. Of course, the heart wrenching pain he felt when Nick never showed up overshadowed all the burns and cuts, including the agonizing treatments and skin grafts. Greg's soul screamed for Nick, begged God to bring Nick to him. He needed Nick to hold him, to scare away the nightmares with his soothing Texan drawl. Only Nick could make Greg feel safe - but Nick never came. Sara drove Greg home and she and Warrick took turns staying with him for the first two weeks. Nick didn't answer his calls. It wasn't until Greg went back to work a month later that he saw Nick. Nick brought him some evidence to process, lingering his fingers on Greg's as he handed him the brown paper bag. Nick asked if he could come to Greg's place after work. Greg's mind screamed no - but his heart said yes. The moment Greg's apartment door closed behind them, Nick was on his knees - tears streaming down his face - begging for forgiveness. Nick said he was so scared that he would lose Greg - he wanted to be with Greg every second of every day - but he couldn't risk exposure. Nick swore he had suffered so much from the distance that he would never do it again - never sacrifice being together for the sake of the closet. He promised. Nick then pulled Greg to his knees and into a searing kiss that said that he meant it. They fucked right there on the floor in front of the door.

And Nick said that he loved him - for the first time in almost two years - Nick said; "I love you, Greg Sanders."

It was after they pulled Nick out of the ground that Greg had finally reached his limit. After years of coming second, third, or fourth on Nick's list of priorities - Greg gave up. It wasn't so much the trauma of almost losing him - _**that **_Greg could handle. As a matter of fact, it was exactly that near loss that caused Greg to ignore the rules of whatever it was they had together. He defiantly sat in Nick's hospital room - holding his hand - whispering the words that he himself needed to hear so desperately when he was laying in the same hospital a year earlier. When Nick woke from his medicated sleep, he looked at Greg with grateful, loving eyes before he told Greg that he needed to leave before his parents came back.

Greg was astonished by Nick's complete and utter lack of need. He realized in that moment - with his heart feeling heavy and achey - that Nick didn't love him in the same way that he loved Nick. It was this love - Greg's love - that kept him from abandoning Nick after he was released from the hospital. Greg knew that Nick would need him - so he decided he could break up with Nick later - after he had healed and the nightmares slowed down. As the days became weeks - Greg fell into a comfortable routine with Nick again. Soon - his will to free himself from the one-sided relationship with Nick didn't seem so important. So, Greg continued to keep his spare clothes and hair products neatly packed in a red roll-away at all times - ready to be grabbed on the way out of their home at a moment's notice for visiting parents or last minute guests. On so many occasions, Greg pulled himself out of bed - half asleep - when Nick called to warn him that Warrick or Archie were coming home with him after work for beer and video games - meaning get your ass out before we get there.

Those were the worst days. Not only was he forced out of the home he shared with Nick - but he missed so much time. He missed game nights and family breakfasts. His missed Nick. He also missed his stuff - all the comforts of home - music, books, a pantry sticked with Twinkies. The only thing in Greg's apartment was his old bed. They only kept the low rent cracker-box so Greg would have an address that wasn't the same as Nicks. It also came in handy when he wasn't allowed to show his face in his own home.

Which happened more than Greg liked to admit. It just felt too pathetic.

Greg almost ended it again after he was beaten nearly to death by a gang of masked thugs. Greg's heart shattered when Nick never showed up to see him. His psyche was as battered as his body and he knew he needed to get out of this thing with Nick or he would lose himself completely. Then Sara told him that Nick hit some jerk in the field. Nick was so upset about Greg that he lost control when some asshole started talking shit about him. Greg was weak and vulnerable and fell prey to the illusion that flying fists was Nick's way of being what Greg needed. Three weeks after Greg was discharged, when there was no chance of running into any of their shift-mates who had taken turns to check on Greg, Nick showed up at his door.

Greg let him in.

He pulled himself out of the rotating memories of the Disappearing-Nick-Stokes and looked at his friend. It was always her - _Sara._ It was her face he saw every time he found himself waking up in a hospital bed.

"So, how bad is Nick's truck?"

"Totaled." She gripped his hand tighter. "He said he's going for a hybrid next."

"You're shitting me." Greg chuckled.

"Well, a hybrid SUV - he's not downsizing much!" Sara mused.

"I guess I'm lucky he was in the lot, huh?"

"He wasn't. We heard the wheels squealing from the break room. When you hit the building, we knew something bad was happening. We all ran to check it out and when Nick saw you - well I've never seen anyone move so fast. I still don't know how he managed it." Sara held Greg's gaze.

"Where is he? Is he coming to visit?" Greg tried not to sound desperate.

"Yeah. I'm sure he is, Greg. He's getting checked out in the emergency room. He wouldn't let them get near him until he knew you were taken care of first, but I'm sure he'll get here as soon as he can."

Warrick quietly stepped into the room before Greg could say anything he would regret. "Hey, Greggo. You must be made of rubber, man. You're getting sprung from this joint in the morning."

"I'm being discharged in the morning?" Greg blurted out.

"Oh. Wow. That seems fast." Sara wasn't sure what Greg needed to hear from her.

"Could you do me a favor and let Nick know?" He asked Sara.

She was a little confused by the request. "Um...sure, Greg."

"Could you tell him that I'll be at home - and no one will be there - except me."

"Greg? What's this all about?" Sara asked.

"Just tell him - okay - tell him I'll be home alone."

"Okay - but Greg, you know I'll come stay with you, right?" Sara worried that Greg felt alone.

"I know, but I'll be fine." Greg squeezed her hand and smiled. "Just let Nick know where I am."

_**Nick's POV:**_

Nick's eyebrow was almost as numb as the rest of him as the doctor finished stitching the gash above it. He couldn't believe it was happening again. How many times were they going to go through this?

His whole world stopped spinning the second he walked through the double-door that led from the lab to the enormous staff parking lot behind it. There was only one way in and one way out and as Nick stepped down the two steps to the asphalt he watched a large van backing up fast as if trying to exit the lot backwards.

That's when he heard Sara screaming Greg's name. He spun around and saw his lover slumped against the concrete-brick wall of the lab. His bleeding head was hanging in front of his chest, arms and legs splayed at odd angles. His shirt was pulled halfway up his torso from the friction of sliding down the wall and Nick could already see dark bruises forming on his swelling abdomen.

He heard the shrieking of tires on asphalt and turned in time to see the van grinding to a stop as the insane-looking driver struggled to get his gearshift into the right gear to move forward again. Nick immediately knew what was about to happen and he started sprinting toward his truck before he had consciously made the decision. He was moving on pure adrenalin and would never be able to recall the details of the next 35 seconds.

The next thing he remembers is the sound of crunching metal and shattering glass as his driver's side door was obliterated by a speeding minivan. Before he blacked out completely, he looked out of the passenger window and saw Greg surrounded by the rest of the team. Sara was trying to stop the bleeding head wound and Grissom was screaming for someone to call 911. The last thought to go through Nick's fading consciousness was that if all of that was happening - Greg was still alive.

"Okay, Mr. Stokes. You're all set." The doctor patted his shoulder. "Keep your chest wrapped for a couple of day - they're not broken, but your ribs are definitely not in solid shape."

Nick's watery eyes looked dazed as he pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Thanks, Doc."

"You'll need to get that looked at next week by your regular doctor."

"Sure." Nick said quietly. "Do you know where they took CSI Sanders?"

"Yes." The doctor spoke sympathetically. "He's been admitted for observation. I have to say - we're all amazed. Not a single broken bone. No internal organ damage. His head wounds look nasty but his skull is intact and so far there is no brain swelling. If he gets through the night without incident he'll be released in the morning."

Nick practically sobbed with relief. His dark eyes welled and his voice shook as he spoke. "That's...good...that's really good."

It only took a few minutes to find Greg's room. Nick was intimately familiar with the layout of the hospital. Between his cases and his close calls, he had been here more often than he wanted to think about. It hit him hard in the gut when he thought about how many more times he would have been here had he ever set foot in the building when _**Greg**_ was a patient.

This was the first time he had _**ever**_ come for Greg, though.

Nick had always felt like it was a necessary sacrifice. He always assumed that Greg knew how he felt. He always insisted that he didn't need to be with him for Greg to know how much he loved him. He expected Greg to understand that eventually, Nick would show up - discreetly. No one had to know about them - it was an unnecessary risk. There was _**nothing**_ worth taking that risk - no holiday, no injury, no close calls or bad days. Nothing.

But Nick had never been up close and personal to Greg's previous close calls. He didn't see Greg fly out of the glass walls of the lab. He didn't watch as a gang of angry kids beat him to within an inch of his life. By the time Nick came around to support his wounded lover - the worst of the bruises, swelling, abrasions, and burns were healing enough to look less scary - almost benign.

And when Nick was at his worst he always had lots of people around - family and friends who loved and cared for him. He didn't really need Greg until they were all gone or otherwise occupied. He never stopped to consider that _**Greg**_ may have needed for Nick to need him. He never considered that Greg may have needed to be close - to see that Nick was alive - to touch him and hold him and breathe in his scent and know that they would wake up together the next day. He never thought about the fact that Greg had to watch the man he loved suffer in the green glow of a coffin buried somewhere where Greg couldn't reach him and probably needed to be with Nick way more than Nick ever imagined.

He got it now.

He watched as Greg's seemingly broken, lifeless body bled onto filthy concrete as a madman took aim at him in an attempt to finish him off. The images played over and over in his mind and now all he needed to do was find his love and hold him close - and never, ever let him go again.

When he got to Greg's room he heard voices through the cracked door.

"_Could you do me a favor and let Nick know?" _

"_Um...sure, Greg."_

"_Could you tell him that I'll be at home - and no one will be there - except me."_

"_Greg? What's this all about?" Sara asked._

"_Just tell him - okay - tell him I'll be home alone."_

"_Okay - but Greg, you know I'll come stay with you, right?" Sara said in a worried tone._

"_I know, but I'll be fine." Greg sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "Just let Nick know where I am."_

"That won't be necessary." Nick stepped through the door of Greg's room and was faced with a very shocked looking lover and the concerned faces of both Sara and Warrick. At first he thought they were concerned about him being there, but when he took a good look at Greg he understood.

Greg looked horrible. His hair was matted in several places with dried blood. The also had a couple of shaved spots where his head had been stitched back together. His face was almost one solid bruise, as was most of the exposed flesh that wasn't covered by the flimsy hospital gown.

Nick agreed with the doctor - it _**was**_ a miracle.

"Hey Nick." Warrick greeted his friend. "You look no worse for the wear. I'm sure the ladies will just think that scar on your face makes you look dangerously sexy."

Sara smacked Warrick's chest with the back of her hand. "Not. Appropriate."

Nick didn't take his eyes from Greg. He acted like he didn't see or hear anyone else in the room. "I don't need to know where you'll be because I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"It's okay Nick, I can take care of Greg. You look like you're going to need some taking care of yourself." Sara said.

Nick stepped to Greg's bedside and sat next to the love of his life. When he responded to Sarah, he didn't take his eyes off of Greg. "No Sara. Greg and I will take care of each other." Nick gently took Greg's hand and kissed his fingers. "At home." He then touched Greg's face tenderly. "_**Our **_home."

"Nicky." Greg gasped.

"We're getting rid of that empty shoebox we call your apartment. You're coming home with me for Fourth of July. And when you go to your parent's 40th Wedding Anniversary, I'm taking three days off so I can go with you." Nick's eyes spilled over. "If you're okay with that."

Greg nodded. "I'm _**so**_ okay with that."

"I've been reckless with you. I've taken you for granted." Nick confessed. "I've failed to show you how much I love you because I've been working so damn hard to hide it from everyone else. I've been foolish - because you're the only one who matters...you're the one I should be worried about. You deserve to know how much I love you - in my words and my deeds - every singe day. You deserve so much more than I've been willing to give. I've been scared of the wrong things, Greg - but the only thing I'm scared of now is losing you."

"Are you sure you don't have a head injury?" Greg smiled with so much fondness it took Nick's breath away.

"I just finally get it, Baby." Nick leaned into Greg's personal space to kiss him. "I love you so much and you've been so very, very patient with me. You should've dumped my ass years ago."

Sara and Warrick cleared their throats before standing. Sara spoke for both of them. "So...we're going to take off now. Um...let us know if you need any help tomorrow...guys...um...yeah...so..."

Warrick pulled Sara's arm to get her to shut up and leave. "Glad you're both okay - we'll see you tomorrow."

Nick could hear Sara ask Warrick, _'Years? Did you know?'_, before the closing door blocked the sound of their voices.

Nick spent a few minutes just looking at Greg. He took in every detail of his face. Beneath the fresh bruises were the remnants of the old ones. Greg's youthful face was never the same after the night he was attacked trying to save a man's life in an dirty alley. To anyone who didn't know better, it just looked like shadows - a trick of lighting. But those closest to the man knew where those shadows came from.

The other scars that marked Greg's survival were carried in places only Nick was privileged enough to see. The burn scars had created a map of textures and variegated flesh-tones that Nick honestly believed to be beautiful - even though Greg never believed him when he said it.

"What are you doing, Nick?" Greg broke the spell.

Nick cocked his head and reached to gently brush his fingers through Greg's matted hair. "Looking."

Greg's eyes filled the second Nick's fingers touched his hair. Nick thought his lover looked almost relieved to be touched.

"No. I mean what are you doing - here." Greg didn't seem mad - just confused. "Sara and Warrick..."

"Sara and Warrick now know what they should have known years ago." Nick interrupted. "Like I said - I've been a fool."

Greg shook his head. "If you've been a fool, then so have I."

"I agree." Nick traced the bruises on Greg's face with the tips of his fingers. "You should have left me. I can think of no less than 20 occasions you should have walked away. I want to talk about that - all the reasons you should have left and all the reasons you chose to stay instead. But right now I just want to lay here with you and hold you until we both fall asleep and tomorrow when we get home, I want to start making a few phone calls. It's time for me to tell my people to make room for one more. It time they knew I found love."

"I...I'm not sure how to process this, Nicky." Greg was nervously fidgeting with a string hanging off of his scratchy hospital blanket. "After almost seven years - all of a sudden...I mean how am I supposed to...take it all in?"

"We can talk about that, too." Nick moved himself to recline next to Greg's battered body in the small bed. "Is this okay."

Greg scooted a little to give Nick more room. "It's more than okay."

"Come here. I need to feel you close to me." Nick allowed Greg to settle next to him and when he was sure Greg had made himself comfortable, he wrapped his arms around Greg's body and held him as close as possible.

"I'm not dead, am I?" Greg asked with his face nuzzled into Nick's shoulder.

Nick chuckled sadly. "No, but the fact that you just asked that tells me I have a long way to go to make things right."

"It just feels a little bit like a dream." Greg explained.

"I know." Nick felt ashamed. "With a little time and a lot of work in my part, it won't feel like a dream anymore because it will be our new reality."

"Wow."

"Sleep Baby." Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath of Greg's scent. "We'll figure it all out later. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2 Homecoming

Title: Homecoming (Last Chance Part 2)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~3300

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

AN: So, this was supposed to be a one-shot - something to feed my addiction to a N/G slash cliche. After it was done, I found myself needing to know more. I had questions about my Last Chance versions of Nick and Greg - so the following chapters are my answers. Again - I'm writing these more for myself than anything else. These are just more overdone angsty, fluffy, H/C moments between the boys - but I just needed it, so I wrote it and thought I would share for those of you who share my insatiable appetite for this particular formula. So I will look at what happens when they get home from the hospital, what happens when Nick meets Greg's family and vice versa, what everyday life becomes for them after Nick's epiphany, and how Nick's family resolves their issues with him. It looks like this will end up being six chapters in all. Enjoy!

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Nick tossed his keys into the giant cobalt glass dish on the small table to the left of the doorframe. It was filled with spare change and other random remnants of many pockets being emptied upon entry over many years. "Thanks for getting us home, Sara."

Sara looked a little closer at the dish. It was obvious that Greg shared this homey ritual, as the bowl contained several half-empty packs of Juicy Fruit gum and an old inhaler. Nick neither liked Juicy Fruit nor did need occasional assistance with inflamed bronchioles.

Those were definitely Greg's.

"I'll make a list of things you guys need and make a quick trip to the store." Sara offered as she dropped her small backpack onto the dining room table before walking into the kitchen.

Greg followed closely behind. "That's not necessary, Sara. I'm sure we can make due with what's on hand."

Nick noticed his lover's limp and the gingerly way he moved his hips. "Actually, that would be really appreciated. I think we could use some milk and O.J. - and eggs..." Nick tried to think of easy stuff for them to prepare. "...tomato soup, stuff to make grilled cheese's." He looked at his battered boyfriend and asked, "You need some Coco Puffs?"

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Greg asked Sara instead of answering his unusually attentive boyfriend.

"Not at all, Greg." Sara answered sincerely. "Let me do this for you."

"Okay then...Lucky Charms, no Coco Puffs." Greg grinned at Nick. "And Nicky needs some Fiber One and half-and-half."

Nick smiled. "And Sierra Mist."

Sara left with her list after Nick gave her a key so she could let herself in if they were already asleep when she returned. He could see how tired Greg was and he himself felt exhausted from the events of the previous 24-hours. Once they were safely locked inside, he made his way to their bedroom and found Greg sitting on the side of their bed staring into space.

Nick kneeled in front of him, his knees popping as he went. He lifted Greg's chin enough to focus on his eyes. "Hey."

Greg's face was clouded with doubt. "I'm not sure what to do now."

It felt like a Gorilla had just pounced on Nick's chest as he heard the simple statement spoken in Greg's quiet, sad voice. Greg didn't need to explain - Nick knew exactly what was troubling him. Seven years - countless close calls for both of them - and this was the first time they had been together for the immediate aftermath. It wasn't lost on Nick that it was either irony or fate that they were both in need of care-taking simultaneously this time around. "You don't have to do anything, Baby."

"I'm so tired." Greg sighed. "And I feel so _**gross**_."

Nick pushed himself up with his hands on his on his knees and took Greg by the hand. "Well then, first we clean you up - then we put you to bed."

"Can't." Greg pointed to his head. "Stitches."

"Trust me, G." Nick led his limping lover into the bathroom. He turned the water on and tested it with his fingers until it was the perfect temperature. Once he had plugged the drain he turned toward the bruised man leaning against the sink. "Naked works better for bath time, Baby."

With a little help from his boyfriend, Greg managed to get his borrowed hospital scrubs off and Nick helped him ease himself into the soothing water. "This feels nice."

"I knew it would." Nick cooed while he gently swiped Greg's cheek with his fingertips before he leaned across the tub to turn off the water. "Be right back."

"You're not getting in with me?" Greg almost whined.

"Can't" Nick rubbed his ribcage gingerly. "Not supposed to unwrap 'til tomorrow."

Greg watched Nick disappear through the door. "Not so fun in here without you." He said loud enough for Nick to hear. He could hear Nick chuckling from somewhere near the kitchen.

"It's not supposed to be fun." Nick said as he walked back into the steamy room carrying a large plastic Spiderman tumbler. He was only wearing grey boxer-briefs and the tight wrap around his torso. He slipped his feet into the warm water before sitting on the side of the tub facing Greg's reclined body. "It's supposed to feel soothing and relax you, so you can get some rest."

Greg looked unconvinced. "What'reyoudoin?"

"Getting that mop of yours cleaned up." Nick smirked before he scooped up a cup full of water. "Can you lean your head forward a little?"

By the time Nick was done, Greg was almost in tears from the overwhelming emotion. Nick had been so careful and gentle. He had skillfully maneuvered the cup to avoid getting the stitched areas too wet. He had gently massaged shampoo into his scalp without getting any of the substance near the places that would sting. By the time Nick was finished, there was no trace of blood or grime left in his hair or anywhere else on his battered body. Once the washing was done, Nick carefully rinsed every part of Greg with clean water before he helped him to his feet and dried him with a big, soft towel.

When Nick was satisfied that Greg was free from any trace of bath water, he wrapped him up in soft towel and warm, strong arms and nuzzled affectionately into his neck.

It felt so good.

For both of them.

Greg had never felt closer to Nick. "Thanks." It was really all he could say without sounding like a crybaby.

Nick's response was a brief, soft kiss. "Do you want to wear anything to bed?"

"Do I ever?"

"Then let's get you settled in." Nick spun Greg around and pushed him toward the bed. Once Greg managed to get himself comfortable, which took a few test positions and two pillows crammed strategically around his hips and knees, he was covered with a soft top sheet and light summer weight blanket. Nick leaned into Greg and kissed him a little more intently than he did in the bathroom. "I'm going to clean myself up a little."

Nick was halfway there when he heard Greg huff in frustration. "Shit. I forgot to brush my teeth."

Nick knew how picky Greg was about his teeth. He also knew that they would never get Greg in the same, comfortable position if he got out of bed. He rummaged through the small drawer next to the sink and brought Greg a long piece of dental floss. "Floss while I get cleaned up."

Greg was so unaccustomed to this kind of attention from his long-time love that he seriously considered that this was all just a dream. He took the offered string and started his flossing ritual without moving from the comfort of his propped, cushioned position.

He glanced into the bathroom every once in a while to watch Nick carefully clean himself with a sink full of soapy, warm water and a wash cloth. Greg was especially intrigued by watching his gorgeous boyfriend thoroughly give his manly bits a once over. "You missed a spot." Greg giggled from their bed.

Nick shook his head while he chuckled softly. "When we're both feeling better you'll have to show me how to do it properly." He walked back to his lover with a toothbrush - fully loaded - a Spiderman cup full of water, and an empty, small plastic garbage pail. He handed Greg the tooth brush before he sat on the bed next to him holding the cup and pail. "Brush, rinse, and spit."

Once he was sure Greg had squeaky clean teeth, Nick carded his fingers carefully through Greg's soft hair until his lover was contently sleeping, Nick cleaned up the portable tooth brushing station and went to the kitchen to grab their pain meds and two glasses of water. He was surprised to find a note from Sara on the counter. _She must have come in while we were in the bathroom. _He picked up the note and smiled while he read it.

_Nick and Greg,_

_I tried to put everything away. If you can't find something give me a call and I'll point you in the right direction. I took liberties and got you a few oranges and a couple of prepared salads. Just give me a call if you need anything. I mean it! _

_Take care of each other._

_Sara_

Nick couldn't help smiling. He once again was reminded that he had been an insensitive, ungrateful, unappreciative, complete idiot for putting Greg through so many years of hiding - consistently ignoring the man at the times they needed each other the most. All for the sake of appearances - putting his unfounded fears before the needs of a man who _**always**_ put Nick first. And so far - no one seemed to give a damn if Nick was a homo - they only seemed to care that he and Greg were happy and cared for. He sighed inwardly before he picked up the pill bottles and water glasses and walked back to their bedroom. Greg was sound asleep and making adorable little growly noises each time he inhaled. Nick took a Percacet and left the bottle on the side table for Greg if - _no when_ - he woke up in pain.

He carefully reclined next to his boyfriend and molded himself around Greg's oddly positioned body so he could touch as much of his man as possible without disturbing his comfort. When he closed his eyes he took a deep breath of Greg's scent and thought about what his world would be like without it. He didn't like the image.

With a series of grateful kisses to the back of Greg's neck and a quietly whispered '_I love you,'_ Nick soon added his own rumbled snoring to their symphony of slumber.

Greg woke up hours later to the distinct sensation of a jack-hammer drilling its way into his skull. His body throbbed all over with pain - timed to the beating of his heart. He leaned back into Nick's warm body and realized that the only thing behind him was a pillow and air. _Of course it was just a dream! _ Greg chastised himself for being dumb enough to believe _**his**_ Nick could ever be like Dream-Nick. _Impossible._

He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust to the light filtering through the half-open blinds. He expected to see the dingy white ceiling of the bare bedroom in the empty apartment he kept for the sake of appearances, but instead found himself looking at the light taupe shade they had painted the ceiling of the bedroom he shared with Nick.

He slowly and carefully turned his head and saw a glass of water and an open pill bottle sitting on the side table next to the empty side of the bed usually occupied by Nick. There was a bright pink Post It note stuck to the pill bottle that said '_Swallow Me_' in Nick's perfect penmanship.

Greg smiled and did just that.

He took his time shuffling to the bathroom and was shocked by what he saw in the mirror. _Yikes._ He gingerly touched one of the stitched wounds on his head and silently thanked whoever worked on him for not using staples.

After emptying his bladder he made his way toward the chest-of-drawers where he kept his comfortable hanging-out-at-home sweatpants but was distracted halfway there by the sound of Nick's voice floating through the bedroom door. He followed the velvety sound until he was right outside of the kitchen. He realized that Nick was talking on the phone and the conversation he was having stopped Greg in his tracks.

"It's been about seven years." Nick said nervously. There was a long pause before Nick continued. "Well, actually, _**this**_ is exactly why I never told you."

Greg wondered who Nick was talking to and then he got his answer.

"It's not like that, Mom. I love him." Nick said with clear conviction.

Greg immediately felt his chest clench. He didn't think Nick would follow-through with it. He just figured the high emotions of the latest close call would fade and it would be back to business as usual. Greg was feeling satisfied with his few hours with Dream-Nick - he never expected _**this**_.

"Yes. It is." Nick insisted. "No, Mom. You're wrong. It is possible to love a man like this. I want to spend my life with him, Mom. I would like it if I could bring him home - complete my family."

Greg's eyes were welling from both joy and agony. He hated hearing the pain in Nick's voice.

"I understand. " Nick conceded. "No, I really do. Take your time and call me when you're ready. But, Mom, nothing will change on my end. Greg is it for me. He's my forever."

That one almost caused Greg to forget to breathe.

"I love you too, Mom. I'll talk to you soon." Once Nick disconnected the call he leaned against the stove and tilted his head back with his eyes closed to collected himself.

"That was really your Mom?" Greg asked.

The sound of Greg's voice startled him from his thoughts. He looked toward the sound and smiled when he saw his slender boyfriend standing at the kitchen doorway. "Mornin' G."

"You just came out to your mom?" He asked with a hint of awe and a fair amount of disbelief.

"Yeah, G. I came out to my mom." Nick said as if he sincerely felt like it was long overdue. "You _**do**_ know you're naked, right?"

Greg nodded and looked a little stunned.

Nick thought he looked adorable. He stepped up to his confused lover and carefully pulled him into a loose embrace. He gently ran his hands from shoulder to butt along the familiar landscape of Greg's back before settling gently on his bruised hips. Every inch of Greg's backside was bruised to the point of dark-purple and NIck made sure to keep his touch light and tender. "You feeling okay, Baby."

Greg nodded.

"Are you naked because it hurts to wear clothes or are you naked because you're trying to get lucky?" Nick teased.

"I..." Greg tried to put his thoughts together but, "...you just came out to your mom!"

Nick gently squeezed Greg's hips. "We've already established that, G."

Greg slowly smiled as he realized this wasn't just some weird artifact of a lingering head wound. "Who the hell are you and what did you do with my closet-case of a boyfriend?"

Nick chuckled before he kissed Greg with all the passion of true, grateful, whole-hearted love.

"Okay - you kiss like my boyfriend..." Greg talked with his eyes still closed. "...but you could still be a pod-person or something."

Nick replied with another searing kiss.

Greg finally caught his breath and opened his eyes to get a gauge on how Nick was feeling about his conversation with his mother. "What'd she say?" He asked cautiously.

Nick gave Greg's hips a final squeeze before he let go. "Tell you what - you get dressed and I'll get the table set up for some cereal. I'll fill you in while we eat breakfast."

"Coffee?"

Nick turned Greg around and pushed him toward the bedroom. "Of course, G. I would never forget your coffee."

By the time they were halfway through their first bowls of cereal, Greg couldn't wait any longer. "So what'd you say? The what'd she say? Then what'd you say?" Greg rambled wide-eyed before nervously adding, "And so on."

Nick swallowed his mouthful of All Bran. "I told her I wanted to bring someone home with me this summer for the 4th of July family reunion. Then she kinda squealed. She said she was thrilled that I have finally found love. She said she knew it must be love if I'm bringing you home. I never brought anyone home with me before."

"Ever?" Greg asked.

"Nope." Nick confirmed. "Not since I moved to Vegas."

"So then what..." Greg waved his hands to indicate that Nick should continue.

"I told her that I found love a long time ago. She wanted to know why I never said anything about it before. I told her that's the reason I called her." Nick tired to relay every detail. "Then I told her."

"What did you tell her? How did you break the news? Did you just come out and say '_I'm really, really gay, Mom_,' or did you ease into it by describing my winning personality and sparkly white smile without mentioning my rather amazing and substantial penis?"

"I never mentioned your penis, but I did tell her how amazing and substantial you are to me." Nick smiled. "What threw her off was when I mentioned that you're the _**man**_ of my dreams."

"From what I heard while I _**wasn't**_ eaves-dropping, she didn't take it so well." Greg prodded.

"She can't understand how I can love man...romantically. She said it wasn't natural and therefore it wasn't possible." Nick tried to mask the pain he felt as he heard his mother's voice in his head. "She said she needed to think about whether or not you'll be welcomed in her home."

"Oh, Nick." Greg felt terrible. "I'm so sorry. It'll be okay - we'll work it out. I just want to spend _**some**_ holidays with you, it doesn't have to be _**every**_ holiday."

"You're not getting it, G." Nick's hand covered Greg's on top of the table. "It's not a negotiation. We're a package deal now."

"But..."

"No, G. No _**buts**_." Nick insisted. "Besides, I know my mom. She'll come around. I can't say the same for my dad...or most of my siblings...but I know my mom. Eventually, she'll get everyone on the same page. I just need to give her a little time to get her head around it."

"You sound so confident, so why didn't..." Greg thought better of it and stopped himself from asking the question. He didn't want to end the fantasy he was currently experiencing with this new-improved Nick Stokes. "You know what? I'm really proud of you."

"Oh no, Greggo. You're not getting out of it that easy." Nick squeezed Greg's hand. "What were you going to ask."

"Nothing."

"It looked like something to me." Nick argued. "So ask."

Greg hesitated for a long minute before he swallowed hard and asked, "If you're so confident that your mom will come around and pull the rest of the clan kicking and screaming behind her...then why didn't you tell her before?"

Nick brought Greg's hand to his lips and kissed his palm. "I'm sorry."

"Seven _**years**_, Nick." Greg said with tears welling in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." Nick gently pulled Greg from his chair, moving himself to give Greg room to straddle his lap. "Come here."

Greg could only obey. He loved this man so much, despite the years of seemly unnecessary turmoil. He settled himself onto Nick's lap after wincing a little when the angle of his legs pulled on an already strained muscle.

"This okay, Baby?" Nick's concern was genuine.

"Yeah - just a little pull, but it's fine now." Greg reassured his boyfriend. He gently palmed Nick's wrapped torso. "You okay?"

"Not too bad." Nick smiled before pulling Greg into a kiss. "I really am _**so**_ _**sorry**_, Greg."

Greg draped his arms over Nick's shoulders and took a pause to look into shimmering, dark orbs before saying, "You are. I can see it in your eyes."

Nick cocked his head with a hint of a smirk. "You can?"

"MmmHmm" Greg nodded while he kissed the smirk right off his face.

It was the kind of kiss that left them both feeling hopeful, which they both expressed simultaneously between kisses with a breathlessly whispered, "I love you."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3 Meet the Sanders

Title: Meet the Sanders (Last Chance Part 3)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~4000

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was all so ridiculous. _**He**_ was being ridiculous and he _**knew**_ he was being ridiculous and yet here he was - not doing a damn thing about it. _Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy._

It had started off so well - the flight was uneventful, his boyfriend was excited and almost _**proud**_to be bringing Nick to his parent's big anniversary blow-out. Nick would be meeting every person Greg had ever known growing up and Greg seemed giddy about it.

It was a lot to wrap his head around if he were to be honest. But it felt so good to see that Greg loved him so much he was practically twitching with emotion at the thought of showing him off to all the people who had been part of his early evolution.

_And then I had to go and fuck it all up._

**~*~TWO DAYS EARLIER~*~**

"Don't be so nervous."

"What? I'm not nervous."

"Yes. You are...and there's nothing to be nervous about. My mom's going to love you."

"She's going to love the guy who defiles her son's virtue three to four times a week?"

"Stop with the sweet talk. Oh...there she is! Come on!"

Nick groaned out load as his boyfriend pulled him in the direction of a tall, thin woman practically squealing from the other side of the barrier keeping the non-screened-potential-terrorist-people from the properly-screened-innocent-traveler-people.

It had been nearly three months since a madman forced Nick from the self-induced emotional prison into which he had firmly locked both himself and his lover. While his own mother was slowly coming to terms with their relationship - Greg's mom seemed to celebrate it without hesitation.

Nick couldn't help feeling a little envious and a little bit nervous about what that meant.

Before he had time to prepare himself, he was pulled into a full-bodied hug by the woman who resembled his boyfriend in a feminine way. He wasn't expecting such a warm welcome. He certainly wasn't expecting the woman to hug him before she greeted her own flesh-and-blood.

"I am so happy to finally meet you!" She said as she squeezed him tightly. "You can call me Jean. No ma'am or Mrs. So-and-so. I just wanted to get that out of the way, since you're a polite southern gentleman and all." She pulled back but kept a firm grip in Nick's arms. "And my son wasn't kidding - you _**are**_ a handsome man!"

Her smile was infectious. He could see immediately that Greg and his mother were quite similar in personality. Once he had recovered from the ambush hugging, he realized what she had actually _**said.**_ "Finally? How long have you been waiting to meet me?"

"Feels like forever, but I think it's really only been a few years." She turned to her son. "When was it that you told me about your Texan?" She pinched Nick's cheeks affectionately. "Exactly how many years have you been keeping this ruggedly handsome man all to yourself?"

Nick grimaced before glaring at his lover. "Yeah, Greg. How long _**did **_you keep your mom waiting?"

"It's been...a while." Greg avoided meeting Nick's eyes. "I think we better get to baggage claim." He changed the subject and scurried away.

Nick was immediately seething inside. He couldn't really peg all of the feelings that were boiling together to create the sudden rush of rage. But he knew one thing, they had a _**deal**_ and Greg had agreed - _he fucking promised_ - no one was to know. That was the pact between them since the first morning they had fallen into bed together. It was a closely guarded secret meant for them and them only.

That included parents.

As they prepared to make this first trip as a couple to Greg's west coast childhood home, he had assumed Greg had just recently outed them to his parents. After all, it was only a few months ago that Nick had taken the giant leap to tell his _**own**_ mother - he was never given any reason not to assume that Greg had waited until Nick gave the all clear to do the same. Now he was finding out the Greg had been talking about them to his parents for _**years**_. _He lied. He broke his promise and he lied! For YEARS. What else has he been keeping from me?_

He could tell by the way Greg avoided being closer than two feet from him, that his boyfriend _**knew**_ Nick was pissed. _**Knowing**_ Greg knew he was pissed made Nick feel even more righteous and outraged. In Nick's mind, Greg obviously knew he was wrong, how ever many years ago it was that he blabbed to his mommy about them. And knowing that Greg knew he was wrong was the icing on Nick's angry-cake.

Not wanting to make a bad impression on the mother of his lying-ass-boyfriend, Nick plastered a fake smile on his face and nodded politely as Greg's mom rattled on and on about how excited she and her husband had been to finally meet the man of Greg's dreams and how much fun it will be to have them both at their 40th anniversary celebration. "Finding true love isn't easy, boys. But I have a good feeling about the two of you. One day you'll be hosting _**your**_ 40th anniversary."

_We'll be lucky to make it to next week._ Nick seethed privately. He didn't like being deceived - especially by someone he was supposed to be able to trust. He watched Greg struggle to carry both of their suitcases and it only pushed him closer to full-on, unstoppable rage. _**Now **__he's trying to make up for it?_ Nick yanked his suitcase out of Greg's grip as soon as Greg's mom turned to walk toward the automatic doors leading to the parking lot. "I can get my own fucking bag, G."

"Nicky..." Greg's eyes were wide and begged forgiveness.

Nick refused to give him a chance to explain. _He has the audacity to look wounded._ "Save it, Greg."

Greg watched Nick stomp away, following the path of his mother. He knew the second his mother said the word _**years**_ that Nick would be mad. He could have kicked himself for not telling Nick sooner. He definitely knew he should have mentioned it before they got to San Francisco, but Greg dreaded the reaction he was sure to get and so he put it off as long as possible He figured once he explained it all, Nick would understand and all would be forgiven.

Of course - in order for that to happen he needed to be given the chance to do the actual explaining. _You're a moron, Sanders._

The ride to the home that still smelled like childhood was filled with the sweet sound of his mother's voice. She was relishing in telling embarrassing tales of her son's youth. Nick politely nodded and chuckled at all the right moments, but Greg could tell by the set of his shoulder's that Nick was well beyond angry.

Greg was just grateful that his mom didn't know Nick well enough to catch on. He really wanted his parents to love Nick. Because Greg loved Nick. Because Greg wanted to spend the rest of his life with Nick.

He hoped to, anyway.

Once his mother pointed out the new bedding and the fact that her husband snores so loud she can't hear a thing outside of their room, she left with a wink and closed the door behind her. _Real subtle, Mom._ Greg waited for Nick to say something, but he only stood across the room and glared. Greg sighed before he tried again to explain himself. "I know you think I lied or something, but I promise..."

"Promise?" Nick interrupted with quiet, but obvious rage. "Don't make me any _**promises**_, Greg. Your word means _**nothing**_ to me." Nick's face was red as he tried to control the volume of his voice. "And you're a fucking liar, too."

"I didn't lie to you, Nicky. I just didn't tell you that she knew. And I never broke a promise. I would never break a promise, it was..." Greg tried to explain.

"Just shut up, Sanders." Nick was done. "You're starting to sound like some adolescent trying to get out of being grounded for ditching school. An omission is the same thing as a lie...and a promise is a _**fucking promise**_. I can't even look at you right now."

"It's not like that, Nicky. Just let me explain..."

"Fuck you!" Nick said louder than he intended and took a breath to contain himself. "Do you have _**any**_ idea what I've been going through, Greg. I've been trying to get my mom to come around for _**months**_. And then I watch as your mom is just...instantly accepting. I've been feeling like there was something _**wrong**_ with me...with my _**mom**_...with my whole fucking family. All this time when I've been wondering why my mom can't just love me the way that I am while your mom seems to just wrap you up with it unconditionally...but all this time it wasn't that my mom wasn't...or that my family is ...it was just that _**YOUR**_ mom...fuck Greg!" Nick was finding it almost impossible to express himself. "She had already had fucking _**YEARS**_ to get a handle on the fact that her son likes to fuck dudes! I was comparing apples to fucking zucchinis and expecting things from my mom that is obviously unreasonable given the fact that your mom had years to..."

"Nick, my mom has known about my sexuality since I was in middle school. Your mom not only just learned about yours, but she also just found out you're in love with _**me **_and..."

"Don't be so sure of yourself there, Greggo." Nick stormed out of Greg's childhood room, leaving behind a boyfriend who wondered where Dream Nick went - because the man who just walked out on him looked an awful lot like the Nick who could never stick around when things got hard. _What the hell just happened?_

Dinner that night was an exercise in make-believe. Greg was amazed by how easily Nick seemed to pretend that they were happily-ever-after, when in reality Nick had implied that Greg's transgression may have in fact caused Nick to question his love for him. _He's been pretending his whole life - so of course this would be easy for him._

Greg found it much more difficult. He tried to talk to Nick every chance he got - but any time he found himself alone with his hostile boyfriend, Nick would ignore him. And every time it made Greg cry - which would result in Nick walking away.

**~*~BACK TO PRESENT~*~**

Two days later Nick found himself sitting at a rented table in Greg's parent's backyard watching his maybe-boyfriend dancing with his zany cousin. Everyone called her Cousin Zee, but he wasn't really sure why since her name was Rebecca.

The anniversary party was nice. Nick had worked hard to help them transform the plain yard into a festive, romantic setting. He did anything and everything to avoid being around Greg alone. Greg's parents assumed their son landed the most considerate and courteous boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.

It was at night, while they shared a bed that smelled of lavender fabric softener instead of the two men sleeping without touching each other, that things felt painfully distant. Nick made it clear the first night. He wasn't going to put Greg's parent's in an awkward situation, so they would fake it during the day. _"But don't touch me - don't even breathe on me - and I don't want to hear your fucking voice try to lie your way out of it."_ The only thing he offered Greg since those words left his mouth was the sight of his back as he slept as far away from the man as possible.

It was weird that he missed Greg even though he had seen him at least once per hour for the last two days. But he did - he missed him. Despite that, Nick was surprised that he was also still mad after two days. For some reason, the betrayal he felt seemed almost unforgivable. As he continued to watch Greg moving to the beat of the Go-Go's, he felt insulted that the man he had spent the better part of the last 48-hours emotionally punishing could have fun without him. How could Greg laugh and play when Nick was so upset and disheartened? He felt like Greg didn't even care. _Why should he care when you've been such a huge dickhead?_

He was so wrapped up in his conflicting feelings that he didn't hear Greg's dad until he spoke. "My son's always had a weird thing for 80's pop."

Nick broke away from his trance-like observation of his lanky boyfriend to look at the man who bore a striking resemblance to him. Nick had really taken a shine to Greg's dad. His personality reminded Nick a bit himself - a man of depth and strong emotions that he expressed with very few words. "I thought he was only into Manson and Nine Inch Nails."

"I think he only started listening to that stuff to score some cool points in high school." Paul grinned. "You have no idea how hard it is to be cool with giant ears sticking out of the sides of your head."

"I can imagine." Nick smirked while trying not to look at Paul's ears.

"I'm really glad you made it out here this time, Nick." Paul said. "I understand about your jobs - I really do - but we were starting to think you didn't want to meet us."

Nick could see Paul trying to make light of it, but underneath there was painful truth. "What do you mean?"

"Greg explained that you boys can't get the same days off and have to rotate holidays. He said it was one drawback of falling in love with a man on the same shift in the same lab." Paul explained. "But we were starting to wonder if there was something more to it. I mean after six or seven years..."

"Excuse me?" Nick thought he must have heard him wrong. "How many years have you known about us?"

"We knew about you before you were even dating!" Paul laughed. "Greg called Jean the morning he got home from his first shift in Vegas. They talked for an hour about you. Greg said he met the man he wanted to marry."

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat as he started to understand what he had never allowed Greg to explain. "He never told me that."

"No?" Paul seemed surprised. "Hm...maybe he doesn't want you to know how much of a mamma's-boy he is. He called her the first time you kissed. He called her after your first date. He called her after...well, anyway - let's just say we've been following your relationship from afar."

He felt like he needed to affirm Greg's years of making excuses for his lame boyfriend's inability to think about anyone but himself. "Greg wasn't making up excuses. It _**is**_ almost impossible to get time off at the same time. But after Greg's...after the most recent incident we decided to make it a bigger priority - and we're lucky to have a very supportive boss." Nick explained. "And just so you know, I'm really glad to finally meet you and Jean, too."

Paul took it in silently before standing. "Well...I better go pay attention to my wife. I'm sure Greg could use a little breather from Cousin Zee, too." He winked before walking away.

Nick's mood swung like a pendulum. He was no longer angry and contemplating the end of his relationship with a lying, bastard of a boyfriend. Now he felt waves of guilt for forcing the man he loved to lie to his parents for so many years in order to make sure his parents only knew the very best of Nick. He realized that he had created a situation that made it impossible for Greg then and impossible for Greg now.

And he once again shut Greg down before he could express himself, and once again Greg gave Nick nothing but respect in return. It must have been really difficult to keep himself from touching Nick over the past couple of days - but Greg did it because that's what Nick said he needed.

He also realized it was _**he**_ who broke a promise to _**Greg**_ the second he stormed away without considering his side of the issue or his feelings.

_Jesus, Stokes. What the hell is wrong with you?_

It was still all about fear - _of course_ - he was just afraid of different things than before he made those promises as he held Greg in a hospital bed after he almost lost him forever at the hands of a grief-stricken father seeking revenge.

It suddenly all made sense.

He stepped behind Cousin Zee and tapped her on the shoulder. "Can I borrow your dance partner?"

"Why are all the hot guys gay?" She said while bolding scanning Nick's body before turning to her cousin. "And how the hell did you manage to land a hottie like him, Geekboy?"

"Nice, Zee. Real nice." Greg nudged her with his hip. "Next time I'll just let you suffer through a dance with Uncle Bob."

"No you won't." Zee kissed him the cheek. "Have fun boys." She said before bouncing across the dance floor to take up with Uncle Bob anyway.

Greg stood awkwardly and looked unsure of himself. "I didn't figure you for a Devo fan."

"Devo?" Nick cocked his head to listen to the music. "What the hell is a Devo?"

Greg shrugged. "So...um...did you want to dance?"

"No. G." Nick grabbed his hand and pulled him off of the dance floor. "I want to talk."

He pulled Greg into the house, up the stairs, and into the room with the lavender scented sheets that should smell like them - musk and sex and..._**them**_. It was all Nick's fault that they hadn't touched, let alone fucked, in almost three days.

They _**never**_ went that long unless they were stuck in the lab. At least not since Nick pulled his head out of his ass and stopped running away all the time. And now, sometimes when circumstances beyond their control kept them apart for longer than either of them would prefer, they would find a dark closet at work and at least give each other a hand job.

Greg started talking the second the door closed. "Look, Nick. I know it seems like I totally lied and completely disregarded..."

"Please stop trying to apologize, G." Nick stepped closer to his boyfriend than he had been since the plane landed. "You didn't break a promise, Greg. I know that now. Your dad filled me in on the fact that you told them about me before _**we**_ were even a _**we**_ - and long before I made you promise not to tell anyone. And lie may be too strong of a word. I would have preferred you told me sooner - but..."

"Wait." Greg was now the one who looked pissed. "You've all but ignored me for two days and now you're telling me that..."

"Exactly." Nick interrupted. "Why didn't you just tell me? I mean I know why you didn't before...before you were..." It was still so hard for him to talk about. "...but why didn't you tell me after? Especially after I came out to my mom or before we came here to see your family?"

"I'm sorry, Nick." Greg looked sincere. "I guess I was just worried about how you would react."

"Obviously I gave you good reason to worry." Nick admitted. He pulled Greg into his arms. Greg responded with his own familiar embrace and Nick immediately felt relief that only came from the feel of Greg's heat against his own. "I think I've figured out what my problem is. And it has nothing to do with broken promises or omissions of fact."

"I'm all ears." Greg said. "But I really, really, really need a kiss first."

Nick needed one too, so he gladly obliged. He took his time to make sure Greg knew how much he loved him. "Why do you always forgive me so easily?" He asked almost breathlessly as he recovered from the intensity of the heated exchange.

Greg didn't hesitate. "Because I love you."

Nick tightened his hold. "Will you still love me if my family doesn't embrace us as easily as your family has?"

"Is _**that**_ what this has been all about?"

"How are you going to feel if we don't get a warm reception this summer?" Nick asked, clearly concerned about the worst-case-scenario he had invented in his mind.

"How bad do you think it's going to be?" Greg asked. "Like, ignore me at dinner bad? Or, like, cut me up into pieces and feed me to the pigs bad?"

"There are no pigs on the ranch, G." Nick felt a little flutter in his chest when he looked at his playful, loving boyfriend as Greg tried to make him feel better. "They would feed you to the horses. Or maybe grind you up and mix you in with the chicken feed."

"Oh. Well that's better, then." Greg's hands moved to Nick's face and he looked deeply into his dark, brown eyes. "If it sucks, we'll go to a hotel and take baby steps until they can deal with us. But let's wait until we get there before we start to put together contingency plans - okay?"

"You would stick around to deal with a potentially hostile situation?" Nick wasn't sure Greg understood. "There's a lot of us - it could get uncomfortable."

"Maybe. But it'll get better. The more they know me and see us together, the easier it'll be." Greg reassured. "We're in this together - I won't run away at the first sign of trouble."

"First sign?" Nick scoffed. "Darlin', I've been nothing but trouble since the first kiss."

"And look..." Greg squeezed Nick's face between his palms. "...still here."

"I still don't get that part." And he didn't. If roles were reversed he would have left Greg years ago. "But I'm glad you're still here."

Greg draped his arms around Nick's shoulders and kissed him - hard. It stirred up a heady mixture of grateful relief and extreme desire that made Nick a tiny bit dizzy. "Can we make out real quick before we go back downstairs?"

Greg nipped at Nick's jawline. "We can do _**way**_ more than make out."

"Not with your entire family and every person you've ever known your whole life downstairs." Nick said adamantly.

"They won't even know we're gone." Greg insisted with a strategic grind of his hips.

Nick had to admit that his misplaced hissy fit had deprived them both. "We're at your parent's house." _Why the hell am I arguing? Just fuck your boyfriend. Stokes!_

"They bought a new bed just for us, Nick." Greg explained patiently. "Trust me, they are fully supportive of you rocking my world in their house."

Nick watched Greg's eyes go two shades darker and that was the last straw - all his resolve to be chaste for the sake of parental respect burst into flames. "Okay." Nick whispered into Greg's neck. "But we're washing the sheets before we leave. I'm not sure I'm ready for your mom to see the evidence of my world-rocking abilities."

"Deal." Greg said while he started unbuttoning Nick's crisp, white shirt. "I'm glad we had this talk. Now please fuck me before I combust."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4 Everyday Life

Title: Everyday Life (Last Chance Part 4)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~3200

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU)

Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

ooooOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoooo

Nick was irritated and felt disgusting. The scene he had been assigned to was beyond horrible. A woman was found dead in her small, ramshackle home where she had been hoarding cats for years. Besides her corpse, there were no less than twenty dead cats and close to one hundred live ones. Nick was heartsick over the condition of the poor animals. By the time he had finished processing, he was covered in grime and smelled like an over-used litter box. The only thing he wanted now was a shower and a fresh change of clothes so he could finish his shift without sending half the team into a allergy-induced asthma attack.

The sight of Greg stopped him in his tracks when he entered the locker room and everything else melted away as concern for his lover overwhelmed him. Greg was slumped on the bench, back against his locker with his head tilted until his face pointed to the ceiling. His eyes were closed, but his face was wet from tears. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Nick was sitting next to him before he had finished asking the question. He grabbed a handful of scruffy hair and turned Greg's head toward him. The look on his lover's face was devastating. "Oh god, G. What the hell happened? Are you okay?"

"He was sentenced today." Greg's voice was rough from emotion. "They sent him away for 25 to life for attempted murder. He got the max because I'm with law enforcement."

"So why are you so upset?" Nick struggled to understand. He gently scratched Greg's scalp with his fingers, trying to soothe him.

Greg scooted closer so he could lean into Nick's shoulder. Nick immediately cradled Greg's head and pulled him closer. "Talk to me, Greggo."

"I asked for leniency." Greg explained sadly. "He's a father who had lost his only child - she was just a little girl, Nicky. Imagine how he felt knowing that his baby was violated and murdered and he couldn't save her and we couldn't put the bastard who did it behind bars where he belongs. It would make anyone a little crazy. I just feel so...bad...it's not fair."

For the millionth time since he had fallen in love with the man sobbing in his arms, Nick was amazed by Greg's genuine, caring nature. "You're right. It's not fair. But neither is almost losing you."

"But you didn't." Greg sighed. "He'll never get his baby back."

"I know." _God._ Nick tried to soothe with his touch. "I know, Sweetpea." He was once again reminded that Greg sees the world from a different lens - shaped by his own capacity for compassion and his own perception that he was at one time responsible for another's demise. Sometimes Nick wondered if Greg thought he deserved to be almost killed. "I'm so sorry, G."

"Thanks." Greg nuzzled into Nick's neck before he sneezed.

Nick chuckled. "Gross, G."

"Sorry." Greg sneezed again. "You smell _**really**_ bad."

"I just spent the day with hundreds of cats and all of the nastiness that goes with them."

"That explains it." He sneezed. "Allergy." He pointed to himself before he sneezed again. "Need to go." He sneezed three times before quickly exiting the locker room. Before he disappeared from view he turned around and flashed his I-can't-believe-you're-mine-smile. "I love you."

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "We'll finish this later at home, okay?"

Within an hour Nick was freshly showered and wearing clothes that had never been within ten feet of a cat. He triple bagged his smelly clothes and then decided to just throw them away instead. within a couple of hours, he was finishing up the paperwork on the case - it turns out that the woman who lived in the catbox had fallen and she couldn't get up. She ended up dying from dehydration before anyone even realized she was missing.

As Nick was sealing up the single evidence box for the open and shut - yet undeniably sad - case, Greg appeared in the doorway of the evidence locker. "Hey."

Nick looked up from his task and smiled when he saw the doe-eyed man who still took his breath away every once in a while. "Hey. You feeling better?"

"Yeah." Greg spoke as he walked into the small room to be closer to his fresh-smelling Texan adonis. "Thanks for...I had a moment. Thanks for listening."

"You're allowed to have moments." Nick reassured his embarrassed looking boyfriend. "I'm just glad I could be there for you."

"You're getting pretty good at it." Greg stepped a little closer. "You smell _**much**_ better."

Nick decided to let him change the subject. "You noticed?" He smirked. "Whatever you do - don't ever break the seal on this box."

"What happened to all the cats?"

"You don't want to know." Nick tried to spare him. He scooted around Greg to close the door. When he turned to once again face his lover, he took his hand and pulled him into a hungry kiss. "We should focus on happier topics, don't you think?"

ooooOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoooo

A few weeks passed before anyone showed up to claim the remains of The Cat Lady, as she was now affectionately referred to around the lab. Nick had interviewed the man claiming to be her nephew before he escorted him to the morgue to hand him off to Doc Robbins. On his way back to the lay out room he passed the trace lab and caught the attention of Hodges. "What's his problem?"

Greg was looking at a paint chip under the microscope when he heard his kiss-ass colleague speak. He popped his head up to look at the one man who made Greg seem husky by comparison. "Who?"

"Your...what? I don't even know. Boyfriend? Lover? Partner? The-guy-who'll-one-day-regret-the-time-he-wasted-on-you?" He said with typical Hodges flair. "He's been...out of sorts..."

"If you're referring to Nick, it's really none of your business." Greg returned to the scope. "He's had a rough couple of days, so leave him alone."

"It's really sweet. You know...the way to defend your man as if he's your woman."

"What are you saying Hodges?" Greg asked without looking up from his bent position. "Are you implying that women are incapable of defending themselves, therefore if I defend my boyfriend he must be effeminate?"

"I'd like to hear the answer to that one, too."

That caught Greg's attention. When he looked up he saw Wendy standing in the doorway with her arms crossed in front of her chest. _Awesome. _ "You'll have to let me know what he says to get himself out of this later, Wendy. I gotta go fill Warrick in on this trace. I think we may have narrowed down the possible suspects - or at least the car they drove."

He walked away feeling satisfied that Wendy would crush the smarmy lab rat's balls in a vice.

He found his tall partner-on-the-case bending awkwardly over a piece of blood-spattered plastic that was once a shower curtain. "How's it coming along in here?"

Warrick looked up and squinted. "My damn eyes are crossin', Man. Please tell me you got something, because the patterned texture on this thing obliterated any print that may be on it."

"No prints in the spatter?" Greg asked? "All that blood and nothing?"

"You would think so, but all we got are smudges." Warrick sounded frustrated. "My money's on gloves. Bastard must've know what the hell he was doing."

"Or she." Greg corrected.

Warrick shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Right, Greg."

"It could happen." Greg insisted.

"A woman stabbed a 240-pound dude, wrapped his fat-ass in a shower curtain, dragged his dead weight out of the house, hoisted him into a car - without anyone noticing?" Warrick said it like has was talking to an idiot. "Never happened, Einstein."

"Don't you think it would be just as hard for a guy to do all of that to a 240-pound dude?" Greg asked.

Warrick just looked at him with _**that look**_ before he rolled his eyes. "Trace, Greg. What'd we get?"

_I get no respect._ Greg sighed before he started talking.

By the time he made it home, Nick was already asleep. Greg stood next to their bed to take in the sight. Nick was sprawled across the sheets, arms and legs splayed so that he almost touched each corner. Greg admired Nick's firm, round, magnificent ass and was torn between waking him up so he could get a taste or letting him catch up on the sleep his overly-stressed lover had lost over the last couple of days.

He opted for sleep. He carefully grabbed a pillow from next to Nick's head and took it to the living room where he made himself comfortable on the couch. He was watching Rachel Ray prepare a yummo meatloaf when he succumbed to his own exhaustion.

Warm fingers grazing against the exposed skin of his belly woke him. He was still on the couch, the television was now off, and Nick was laying behind him. "How'd you manage to cram yourself back there without waking me up?" Greg asked in his sleepy voice while he pressed himself into the body of his lover.

"Wasn't that hard." Nick answered in gusts of warm breath against the back of Greg's neck. "Want you." He whispered into Greg's ear after he skillfully yanked Greg's shirt from his body. "Now."

Greg felt Nick's heat pressed against his now bare back. Nick's arm was wrapped around him while his palm skimmed down his bare chest until deft fingers popped open buttons to expose more of Greg's superheated flesh below his waist. "Bed?" His voice cracked in an unflattering way but Greg was too fucking turned on to care. Especially when he heard Nick's lustful reply.

"Too far." Nick impatiently pushed down on the denim and cotton still covering what he so desperately wanted. "Need you now."

Greg loved it when Nick said that. _Need you now._ He loved to be the center of Nick's need. Especially when the need was overwhelming every nerve cell in his body as he felt the heat of Nick touching him everywhere.

This was always their thing - they were _**always**_ good at this. Wether it be a celebration or simple frustration or sometimes the only way to end a fight - it was good. So. So. Good. And even though Greg knew that this time was about Nick being incapable of expressing his inner turmoil, he wasn't going to stop it because they could always talk after and damn it, it just felt too fucking good to stop for the sake of talking things through.

He felt Nick's fingers first - only for a few seconds before he felt hard, hot cock breaching his still too tight, resistant sphincter. Sometimes he liked to rush it though, especially when Nick was this desperate. Greg just wanted to give himself up to his lover's intensity - let Nick have him at will. And despite the discomfort and, admittedly, the pain - Greg mostly felt the buzzing that radiated from the base of his spine as he melted into the feeling of _oh so good_.

Nick slid one hand around Greg's thigh and lifted his leg enough to deepen the penetration. Greg's aching, deep groan only cause Nick's dick to get harder and his hips to thrust faster. There were just times like this that Nick couldn't get deep enough, fast enough. And his lover _**never**_ failed to give him anything and everything - no matter what. Nick could have been the biggest ass in the world and Greg would still open himself for...whatever Nick wants.

Whatever Nick needs.

Nick knew it.

And he loved Greg for it. Among a million other things.

He opened his eyes when he felt Greg's fingers wrap around the back of his neck as he reached behind him. Greg's hair was dampening with sweat and his flesh was flush from head to toe - toes which were now curling from pleasure. Seeing this was only one of the reasons Nick loved fucking Greg in this particular position. "I love it when I make your toes curl."

Greg managed to make a sound that sounded a little bit like a laugh between his gasping breaths and he said in a sultry tone, "Just keep fucking me."

Nick lifted Greg's leg a little higher in the air, changing the angle just enough to elicit a loud, deep, rumbling moan from the man writhing in front of him. Nick buried his face into the back of his lover's sweaty neck and concentrated on deeper and harder. "So...god, Greg...so good..."

"Don't stop, Nicky. Please."

There was almost _**desperation**_ to the way he said it and Nick wanted to make it go away. He thrust hard into Greg's tight heat, cursing the cushions behind his back for hindering his momentum. When Greg arched his head back, Nick couldn't stop himself from sinking his teeth into the slick flesh of his neck.

They had done this thousands of times in hundreds of ways - and Nick knew exactly how to work Greg's body. No matter how desperate Greg wanted to make it last - Nick knew that a strategically placed bite on the neck would be Greg's undoing. With a near scream, "Fuck," Greg's grip on Nick's neck became almost painful as his body clenched around Nick's cock. Nick watched as the toes curled impossibly on the foot hovering in the air at the end of the leg Nick still held by a tight, bruising grip of thigh. The smell of Greg's sweat mixed with the scent of his orgasm as he messily came without warning was a heady combination of sensations that left Nick slamming himself into Greg's body for one final thrust as he followed his lover into orgasmic bliss.

They both took a few minutes to ride it out before Greg's husky voice interrupted the euphoria of the moment. "Leg."

"Hmm." Nick couldn't even form words yet.

"My Leg." Greg repeated. "Cramp."

"Oh." Nick finally got it and let go of his death-grip on Greg's thigh. "Sorry, Baby."

Nick pulled himself out and they both sighed from the loss. Greg spun himself around so he was facing his hot Texan. It felt good to feel Nick's arms wrap around him to pull them closer. "I hate coming all over the couch."

"From the feel of things, Greggo - you mostly came all over yourself." Nick smiled his dopy post-orgasm smile.

"You're not complaining are you?" Greg asked with a crooked brow.

Nick shook his head and kept on smiling. "Never. I like it when we stick together."

"You're so weird." Greg chuckled. "And you're not the one always stuck trying to get protein stains off of the upholstery."

"Well, you better get yourself cleaned up then, because I didn't use a condom so your messy upholstery is about to get a lot messier in a couple of minutes." Nick smirked playfully.

"I noticed." Greg smacked his lover's beautiful ass. "I think I'll just stay here and leak all over the place and make you clean it up this time."

Nick's face suddenly got serious. He reached for Greg's face with his fingers and brushed a clump of hair from his sweaty forehead. "Sounds fair." He almost whispered.

Greg took the opportunity to poke at Nick's metaphorical tender underbelly. "Talk to me, Nicky."

Nick sighed. "It's nothing..."

"Nick." Greg interrupted. "You've been a terrible grouch at work - people are asking me about it. And _**that**_ - although amazing and completely appreciated - is how you fuck when you're in pain and in your own head about it. So talk to me."

"You already know, G. My dad."

"I know you talked to your dad couple of days ago and I know you hung up really upset about whatever it was he said to you - but you never really told me what exactly he said and why exactly you are so wounded."

"You're not letting me off the hook on this, are you?" Nick pulled them impossibly close and nuzzled into Greg's neck. "I love you so much."

Greg's chest ached at the sound of Nick's voice. "Please. Talk to me, Baby."

"He sounded so disappointed." Nick explained.

Greg could feel the wet heat of Nick's tears on his neck.

"It's like I killed his dreams or something." Nick hiccuped. "He said he wasn't sure he could ever accept what I've become."

_Oh god._ "I'm sorry." Greg didn't know what else to say.

"I haven't _**become**_ anything, G. I'm still me." Nick whimpered.

Greg's fingers carded through Nick's hair. "And you're beautiful, Nicky. You're amazing and beautiful."

"He asked if he'd be seeing me next month." Nick explained as he started to pull himself together. "I told him he would be seeing both of us."

"What'd he say?"

"Nothing." Nick pulled out of his little hiding space in Greg's neck. HIs eyes were glistening and he looked so sad. "He just said he hoped I come to my senses before then."

"If it's too hard for you..."

"Don't say it." Nick interrupted. His hand was skimming the bumpy terrain of Greg's nude back. "You're coming. I want you there. I want them to see how perfect you are for me."

"They may never see that, Nicky." Greg hated that Nick's eyes shimmered even more when he said it.

He looked at Greg with wounded confusion. "You don't want to go?"

"I didn't say that." Greg's hand rested comfortingly on Nick's bare shoulder. "I want to be there. I want to show them how perfect _**you**_ are. I also want you to be realistic and if it doesn't go your way I don't want you to..."

"I won't." Nick didn't want to hear the words. "I promise. I'm done with that. No more running away when things get rough. I love you. This is where I want to be."

"I love you too." Greg reassured his man while he felt his own anxiety building. He tightened his hold on Nick and said more for himself than his boyfriend. "I love you so much."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5 Meet the Stokes Greg's POV

Title: Meet the Stokes - Greg POV (Last Chance Part 5)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~6100

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU)

Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Are you sure you're ready for it?" Sarah asked. She was sitting in the back seat of Warrick's assigned Denali. Greg sat in the front passenger seat while Warrick drove.

"Left at the light." Greg instructed as he studied the mapquest he had printed.

Warrick rolled his eyes after the mechanical voice from the GPS repeated the directions. "Why'd you bother with the mapquest, Einstein? We have GPS."

"Sometimes she's wrong. I wanted to make sure we don't get lost." Greg explained tersely. "It's a tiny, random town."

"This rig has a kick-ass GPS, Greg." Warrick teased. "It's not like that piece of shit you have in your roller skate."

"Whatever." Greg huffed.

Sarah interrupted the good natured ribbing. "You didn't answer me, Greg."

He turned enough to look at his friend in the back seat. "Yeah. I think I'm ready."

"It just seems like Nick should go alone the first time after his big announcement..."

Warrick interrupted. "They know what they're doing, Sarah. Don't go making trouble where there is none."

"Seriously?" Sarah protested. "You met Nick's parents. They aren't going to make this easy for Nick. They certainly aren't going to be welcoming to Greg. Not right now, anyway."

"Don't be so negative, Sarah." Greg chimed in. "We both know what we're walking into and we're going to be there for each other. Nick wants them to see us together - rip off the band-aide so to speak - and he wants to make it perfectly clear that he and I are a package deal now. I want to support him in any way he needs right now - no matter how uncomfortable it may be."

"Uncomfortable?" Sarah rolled her eyes. "It's going to be fucking miserable."

"Maybe." Greg agreed. "But imagine how much worse it is for Nick. I won't leave him on his own for this if he wants me there. I can't do that to him. It took a lot for him to tell them. I need to be there to support him during the aftermath.'

"You're a good man, Greggo." Warrick said.

Greg just looked at him, waiting for the zinger. After an exaggerated pause of silence Warrick looked over at his passenger. "What?"

"Just waiting for the punch line." Greg smirked.

"No punch line, man." Warrick said with all sincerity. "I mean it. You're a good guy, Greg. Nick's lucky to have you."

"Thanks, man." Greg's chest swelled. "But I'm the lucky one."

"Don't sell yourself short, G. Nick's found a gem in you." Warrick insisted before looking into the review mirror so he could see Sarah's eyes. "You tell anyone I said any of that and I'll make sure to announce the disastrous results of that little thing..."

"Don't even.."

"What?" Greg perked up.

"Nothing." Sarah snipped. "And I don't know what you're talking about 'Rick because I didn't hear a damn thing back here."

"What's the thing?" He asked Warrick. "What thing?" He asked Sarah after whipping his head around to glare at her.

"Sorry..." Warrick chuckled. "I don't know anything about _**any**_ thing, Greggo."

_**Your destination is on the right.**_ The mechanical voice announced.

Sarah looked relieved. "We're here." She hopped out of the SUV before it had rolled to a complete stop.

Greg turned his glare toward Warrick. "What. Thing?"

"There's a couple of dead guys waitin' for us." Warrick chuckled before he opened his door and hopped out. "Let's go, Greggo."

"I hate you." He managed to say before the door slammed.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Despite his show of confidence with his friends earlier in the day, Greg was a complete mess. He was dreading the next five days more than he had ever dreaded anything in his life. Every conversation Nick had had with every member of his immediate family since the day he came out has been a version of the same demand - Stop. It.

_Mother Stokes - Stop wasting time before you're too old to be a father. _

_Father Stokes - Stop going against nature and God and stop making your mother cry._

_Sisters Stokes - Stop embarrassing your family. Stop sinning. Stop letting some pervert corrupt your soul. Stop making Momma cry._

_Brother Stokes - Stop being a fag._

_All the Stokes - Don't you dare bring that Greg-person to the ranch. Ever._

The fact that Nick continued to insist that Greg be with him for the Fourth of July Stokes' Family Reunion was...amazing. It really showed Greg how committed Nick was to keeping the promises he made at Greg's hospital bedside.

So Greg couldn't _**not**_ go. No matter how terrified he was.

"You're still here?"

Greg hadn't realized that he had closed his eyes and leaned against his locker until he heard Sarah's voice. "I think I may have actually dozed off a little." Greg chuckled. "Damn I'm tired!"

"What time's your flight?" Sarah asked casually as she opened her locker.

"Noon." Greg sighed. "It'll give me a few hours to sleep. Nick should have us all packed and ready by the time I get home."

"Greg..." Sarah closed her locker and sat next to her friend. "Are you sure about this trip?"

"It's important to Nick that I'm there. So yeah...I'm sure about this trip." Greg tried to reassure her. "Besides. I can't miss our anniversary."

"Anniversary?"

Greg nodded. "Eight years on July 4th."

"I didn't know your anniversary was on July 4th." Sarah smiled brightly. "That's so awesome."

"Well...it's really hard to pinpoint an anniversary. Everything with us was so subtle and gradual until the night we...let's just say we both saw fireworks on Fourth of July eight years ago. And neither one of us was outside at the time if you know what I mean." Greg waggled his eyebrows.

"I get it, Greg."

"Yeah...so anyway. We just decided to make that our official anniversary." Greg explained sadly. "It's not like we had a wedding or anything. Things aren't as simple when you're gay."

"I get that too." Sarah smiled and grabbed his hand. "Weddings are so overrated anyway."

"Well..." Greg suddenly beamed. "...hopefully someday soon I'll be able to judge that for myself."

Sarah cocked her head and smirked. "Oh?"

Greg nodded and grinned like an idiot. He reached into the backpack that was on the floor between his feet. Once he found what he was looking for he held it up for his friend to inspect.

Sarah gaped. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Well, let's just see, shall we?" Greg opened the cobalt blue velvet box dramatically. "Did you happen to think it was a pair of platinum bands coincidentally sized to fit the fingers of me and my hot, sexy cowboy?"

"You're going to...propose...to Nick...in Texas...surrounded by people who would prefer for you to have never existed?" Sarah laughed. "You got some balls!"

"Yes. I do happen to have some balls." Greg pushed her playfully. "Stop laughing."

"Oh Greg." Sarah sighed. "Only you would think of something so...romantically ballsy."

Greg suddenly doubted himself. "You don't think I should do it?"

"I didn't say that." Sarah pulled him into a hug. "I actually think it's perfect."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

There were so many things about them that fit perfectly. But the way they handled stress was not one of them.

Nick folded into himself. He stopped talking. He had a hair trigger and a mean bite.

Greg on the other hand, got jumpy, chatty, twitchy.

This fundamental difference was the pathway that led them to the tense, silent drive from DFW to the Stokes' ranch. Greg buzzed with nervous energy the entire flight and Nick snapped.

They hadn't said one word to each other since.

The closer they got to their destination, the more Greg felt the need to fix the tension and get over it. His right leg jiggled nervously as he fiddled with the seatbelt over and over again. He took a quick peek at his lover and was disappointed to see the scowl still firmly planted on his handsome face. _ Shit._ He searched for an ice breaker and finally blurted the only thing he could think of. "Are we almost there?"

"What are you, seven?" Nick snapped.

It stung. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Nick mocked in a whiney, nasally voice. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet..."

"It's the first thing I've said to you since you called me a 'fucking annoying, needy leech' - so I don't think I deserve your..."

"Just shut up, Greg."

"What's your problem?" Greg snapped too.

Nick rolled his eyes. "At the moment - _**you **_are."

"What the hell did I do?"

Nick's brow furrowed for a few seconds. "Just...shut up."

"You're being a dick." Greg said before he crossed his arms across his chest, leaned his head back against the head rest of the rental car's passenger seat, and closed his eyes.

Nick abruptly pulled the car into the dirt median and slammed it into park. The change in momentum startled Greg so much he found himself gasping and gripping the door handle until he felt his knuckles ache. "What the hell, Nick!"

Nick turned slightly so he was facing Greg a little and glared before his face slowly relaxed and his eyes went from fiery to remorseful in the matter of a few seconds. "You're right - I am being a dick."

"Finally we agree on something." Greg snarled.

Nick only smiled fondly and reached across the space between them to massage the crinkle between Greg's eyes. "Forgive me?"

Greg wasn't sure he was ready to let it go. Nick had been in rare form and really hurt his feelings. So he just sat there and enjoyed the feel of Nick's touch and thought about how much he wanted to drag this out.

He realized he really didn't want to drag it out at all. "Fine. But only because I don't want to be pissed off when we get there. They hate me enough as it is."

"They don't hate you..."

"Yes..." Greg stopped his boyfriend from strolling too far down the path to make-believe. "...they do."

"But I love you." Nick smirked.

_Damn it._ "Don't make that face. I can't resist that cute little face you make when you feel like an ass."

"It works." Nick said smugly.

"You're annoying." Greg huffed playfully. "Kiss me before we get back on the road. Once we get there you probably won't stand within three feet of me."

"I'm not going to ignore you. I promise. We're in this together." Nick tried to comfort his nervous passenger. "And I appreciate that you're here. I know it's really hard, but I really need you with me for this."

"That's why I'm here." Greg leaned into NIck and pressed their lips together. It felt good. "And I love you too."

"Of course you do." Nick mumbled into Greg's lips before he deepened the kiss.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"You can't be serious!" Nick didn't mean to yell, especially at his mother, but he couldn't believe she was being so unreasonable.

"Don't raise your voice to your mother, Nick." His father talked to Nick as if he were a child.

Greg wanted to scream. Not only because they were being so unfair and...mean...but because he couldn't stand to see his strong, brave, competent and loving partner treated like a misbehaving six-year-old. Unfortunately he was in no position to defend Nick. He understood without _**any**_ uncertainty that the last thing this situation needed was drawing any more attention to himself.

"I'm not yelling at her..." Nick turned his attention to his father. "...I'm yelling at the situation. You're treating me unfairly because you don't like the fact that I'm gay."

_Oh god Nicky, please don't shove it in their face._

"None of our children were allowed to sleep in the same bed with anyone they brought home until they were married. We're not treating you any differently, Nick." His mother explained calmly. "We follow God's law in this house."

_Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. Drop it._

"We're as married as we can be, Momma. We've been together for almost eight years! That's longer than Tracy's been married and Les has been married twice in that period of time."

_Shit._

"It's not the same Son. And you know it." Nick's father scowled. "Besides, how could you have been together for almost eight years? It was only three years ago on Christmas that you went out with that girl from high school and if I recall you stayed out all night." His father looked at Greg smugly as he finished his sentence.

_What? _

Nick jerked his head from Greg to his parents to Greg and back again to his parents. It was almost a cartoonish cliche'. Greg would have found it to be quite funny if he wasn't feeling so confused and pained by the unexpected revelation.

_Hold your shit together, Sanders. Don't let them get to you within five minutes of walking through the door. Nick probably has a good explanation._

Greg was so nervous and tense that he was sure he was going to puke all over the expensive Persian carpet he was standing on.

_**That**_ would certainly make an impression.

He finally spoke up. "It's fine Nick. I think we should respect the rules." Greg stood tall and turned his attention to the Stokes' matriarch. "Thank you for opening your home to me, Mrs. Stokes. Where will I be sleeping."

In his peripheral vision, he could see Nick's shoulders slump. Obviously, his boyfriend wanted to push it farther.

"Right this way Mr. Sanders." She gestured toward the hallway leading to a rather large kitchen.

"Please, call me Greg." He forced a smile.

It was _**Mr.**_ Stokes who responded, "That won't be necessary."

Halfway down the narrow, dark stairway leading to the finished basement, Nick stopped and said he couldn't go any farther. Greg saw the sweat glistening on his forehead and knew immediately that Nick was well on his way to a flashback. "It's okay, Nick. You don't have to go down there. I'll just drop my bags and be right back up." He kept his tone soothing, doing his best to touch Nick without touching.

Nick looked at Greg with eyes filled with fear and apology before he nodded and swallowed hard. "Okay."

Greg was impressed with the basement. It was finished to perfection with a comfortable, warm den and two small bedrooms fully made up with bedding that matched perfectly to the wall colors and window treatments. The bathroom was quite amazing with an over-sized tub, separate shower, three sink basins and two enclosed toilets. This was definitely designed with a large family of siblings who were all within child-bearing age in mind. "This is lovely." Greg complimented Mrs. Stokes' enthusiastically.

"Thank you." She seemed so sincere. "I'm sorry that your accommodations aren't quite as finished."

She opened a door at the end of a small hallway to reveal an even smaller unfinished section of the basement that was lit by a single bare bulb fixture screwed into a support beam and a tiny, dingy window that was half buried by yard. The dank, musty space contained heating and AC units, two water heaters, a few stacks of plastic storage bins - and a small cot with a thin, worn mattress. Stacked on one end of the cot were mix-matched sheets, a thin blanket and a nasty-looking old, thin, stained pillow. Greg saw better sleeping accouterments in prison cells.

_Really? _ Greg thought this kind of shit only happened in really bad movies. _Unbelievable!_

The elder Stokes were definitely trying to make a statement.

And it was so hot. Between the summer heat outside and the mechanical heat inside - it felt like a sauna. Greg felt like crying. He was already exhausted and he knew he couldn't sleep in heat - at all - not even a little. Nick actually had to get used to the cold from Greg's need for very low settings on their air conditioner at night.

He stifled a groan as he dumped his bags next to the cot. _Fucking perfect!_

"We'll just let you get settled." Mr. Stokes said before he pulled his wife out of the room and closed the door.

It immediately got a billion degrees hotter.

Greg collapsed onto the cot and finally let himself cry. He couldn't believe people who raised his kind-hearted boyfriend could be so intentionally mean. The years of duck-and-cover with Nick made so much more sense now. And now he couldn't stop thinking about what Nick did with some woman three years ago on Christmas. What was that all about and why hadn't Nick told him about it?

_There's a reasonable explanation. They're just trying to interfere. I've been here all of ten minutes and they're already trying to get rid of me._

It was going to be a long week.

Greg was already sweating from the heat in the small room and needed to get some fresh air - but he didn't want to run into any of the Stokes without Nick by his side. He texted.

_Greg to Nick: Where r u_

_Nick to Greg: My room._

_Greg to Nick: Meet me at the top of the basement stairs?_

_Nick to Greg: omw_

Nick was true to his word. By the time Greg made it to the top of the stairs, Nick was waiting for him. He stepped down two steps and closed the basement door to give them some privacy. Greg could tell that his boyfriend was trying hard not to freak out from the small space of the stairwell.

"You okay?" Nick asked with a gentle cupping of Greg's cheek.

"I told you they hate me." Greg plunked his head onto Nick's shoulder.

Nick's fingers carded through Greg's hair soothingly. "Why are you all sweaty?"

"Because I spent the last five minutes between two very large, very hot hot-water heaters." Greg explained.

"What?" Nick seemed confused.

Greg lifted his head so he could make eye contact and just stared into Nick's eyes with a cocked brow. He waited for all the pieces to fall into place and watched Nick's eyes bulge the very second he got it.

"They...they didn't..." He asked in disbelief. "Oh god...they did. Greg...baby. I'm so sorry."

Greg could tell he meant it.

"Let's just go get a hotel room. We don't have to sleep here." Nick offered while he pulled Greg into his arms.

"It's okay." Greg's voice was muffled by Nick's neck.

Nick pulled them closer. "It's _**not**_ okay."

"It'll get better. I know it will. We just got here and they haven't had a chance to get used to seeing you with a dude. They haven't had a chance to get to know me." Greg tried to get his boyfriend to smile. "Who can resist me? Seriously."

Nick chucked quietly and the sound of it was magic. Greg felt a million times better. "Just don't leave me alone with any of them."

"No way." Nick reassured. "I'm stuck to you like glue."

"Bringing the topic of sex into this won't help." Greg forced a grin so Nick would feel better.

"Funny, Sanders." Nick playfully smacked Greg's ass before he pulled away completely. "Ready to face the firing squad?"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

By the end of the day Greg felt like he had _**literally**_ faced a firing squad. His heart was full of holes created by strategically aimed, passive-aggressive jabs and insults. The elder Stokes certainly set the tone for their offspring and they all made it perfectly clear that Greg Sanders was not welcomed. The day was filled with silent treatments and harsh, hateful glares. All but two refused to shake his hand and the kids had obviously been instructed not to speak to him. It was awkward and uncomfortable and the only thing that kept Greg from stomping away in defeat was the way Nick's eyes welled with the deepest kind of pain all day long.

It broke Greg's heart and bolstered his loyalty all at the same time.

Greg threw a sheet on top of the flimsy mattress and threw himself on it in a fit of exhaustion that comes from a day of hiding emotions and keeping his temper under control. Greg immediately realized he would get no sleep. It was too damned hot.

Not to mention the squealing voices and girly giggles coming from the other side of a thin door that separated the unfinished basement from the beautiful, comfortable, temperature controlled, perfectly finished basement. Greg listened to the chatter and thought about how upset Nick became earlier in the evening when sleeping arrangements were formally announced.

The adults were assigned to their childhood rooms, which had been modernized to accommodate respectable married couples. The kids, of which there seemed to be hundreds, were assigned in groups. All the girls over the age of ten were assigned to the basement because it was deemed inappropriate for Greg to be anywhere near the boys alone - especially after dark when no one else would be around.

Nick lost it.

Only Greg understood the deep pain that hid beneath the rage. As Nick screamed at his entire family for making disturbing and disgusting assumptions about his lover, Greg heard what wasn't spoken out loud - how could they accuse a good man of something so vile based on his sexuality when Little-Nick had been violated mind, body, and soul by a woman who was by all appearances proper, heterosexual, and Christian. How could a house full of intelligent people be so obscenely ignorant?

Greg's heart ached for Nick and he felt helpless to do anything to comfort him. There was nothing he could do - especially in front of the glaring eyes of a billion Stokes.

_Fuck it's hot._

He was so tired and just wanted to sleep - just a little. It was this desperate need for rest that drove him to a decision that he knew he may regret later.

He moved into the hallway.

Just on the other side of the door - so he at least wasn't sweating like a pig in the miserable heat all night. The light from the basement's main room and the noise from the gaggle of girls was tolerable and easier to work around than the oppressive air in his 'guest' room.

He grabbed the pillow and sheets and snuck out into the hallway to sleep on the floor. He stayed as close to the closed door of the oven-slash-utility closet-slash-guest-prison as possible hoping none of the squealing girls would notice.

Unfortunately only a few minutes passed before he felt the eery feeling that comes with being watched. He opened one eye and found himself looking at several pairs of slipper-sock clad feet. _Perfect._

"Why are you sleeping on the floor?" The one named Brianna asked.

Kaylin - or was it Kayla - added, "In the hallway?"

Greg sighed unhappily. "Do you have any idea how hot it is in there?"

The four girls looked at each other for a few seconds before they herded themselves into the small room Greg had left a few moments earlier. Thirty seconds later they herded right back out and resumed their circle around him. "It's pretty hot in there." He was fairly certain Bethany spoke that time.

"Right?" Greg leaned up and rested on his elbows. "Is it okay if I stay here in the hallway? It doesn't freak you out or anything, does it."

They all looked at each other again before they collectively shrugged and Kaylin/Kayla said, "Not really."

"Why don't you just sleep on the couch?" The smallest one asked. Greg couldn't remember her name.

"I'm good here." Greg answered. "Besides, aren't you guys hanging out in there?"

"We can move to one of the bedrooms." Bethany spoke for them this time.

Greg wanted to cry. The Stokes' teens were being so kind. After a day of being kicked around by the elder Stokes, Greg wasn't prepared to be treated so...normally. "You don't have to move your fun. I'm fine here."

"You're not." Brianna sounded wise beyond her years. "Come on, Greg."

It was the first time all day that anyone besides Nick had used his first name. He didn't think any of the kids even knew his name at all. He could feel the weight of a day's worth of repressed pain pressing against his chest. "I...that's really..." He stifled a sob. "...your folks wouldn't like that very much."

"Please." The one whose name he couldn't remember huffed. "If _**we**_ acted like _**they're**_ acting we'd be grounded for life."

"They won't even know." Brianna added.

Bethany chimed in. "Who cares if they do. Come on." She held her hand out for him.

Greg allowed them to lead him into the comfortable room with the heavenly couch. He could feel himself falling asleep before he had completely sat down on it.

Suddenly they all seemed to speak at once. "Uncle Nick loves you." "He really does." "I can tell." "You love him, too." "That's all that really matters."

He was having a hard time keeping up.

"How long have you been with Uncle Nick?"

The question caught him off guard.

"Um..." How was it possible that these kids came from the loins of the horrible people sleeping two floors above them? "...it'll be eight years the day after tomorrow."

"July 4th?" Kaylin/Kalya squealed. "That's so cool!"

After an hour of answering a million questions the girls reluctantly left a very drowsy Greg alone. He fell asleep within minutes.

In the morning, the girls waited for Greg to shower and dress before they accompanied him up the stairs and into the kitchen. They were his self-appointed emotional body guards and Greg appreciated them for knowing he needed it. They were lined up in a row on one side of the large dining room table, eating a variety of cereals when the first of the grown-ups appeared.

It was Nick's brother. _Great._

He sat across from Greg and looked sternly at the girls flanking both sides of him. "Mornin' girls."

They all chirped morning greetings politely and continued to eat. Brother Stokes poured himself a bowl after selecting his brand from the line-up of boxes in the center of the table. After covering it with milk he glared at Greg. He had only taken a couple of bites before interrupting the tense silence. "Where's your Uncle?" He asked the girls, though his eyes remained fixed on Greg.

"I haven't seen him yet." the velvet-smooth voice of one of Nick's sisters answered from behind him.

Greg wanted to puke. _Where are you, Nicky?_

"Were you raised by monkeys?" The brother asked.

At first Greg thought he was reprimanding of the his young protectors, but he soon realized the insult was directed at him. "Pardon?"

He heard the shuffling sound of awkward discomfort all around him.

"You eat like a damn trained monkey."

Greg looked at the hand holding his spoon - confused. He looked back up at the man glaring at him from across the table. "What?" He wasn't really sure what the hell the man was talking about.

Nick's brother picked up his spoon, holding it in his fist like a young child would before making a show of shoveling cereal and milk into his mouth. Milk and corn flakes dribbled down his chin as he shoveled spoonful after spoonful while making monkey sounds. He finally dropped his spoon into the bowl, causing milk to splash from the bowl and onto the dark wood of the table. After an exaggerated wiping of his mouth with a napkin he leaned toward Greg menacingly and spoke in a tone that caused the girls to shrink into submission.

"It's not enough that you made my brother bring your fag-ass into my parent's home. Now you embarrass him with your bad manners. Hold your spoon like a fuckin' man."

"Language!" The sister scolded him while nodding her head toward the girls.

"Good morning!" Nick's voice felt like a tidal wave of relief as he entered the tension-filled room. "No coffee, G?" Nick sounded almost normal as he teased his lover. Everyone knew Greg couldn't function without coffee.

He looked around the table before turning his attention back to Greg. "Everything okay?" He had obviously noticed the chill in the air.

This only made Greg feel worse.

"Why is everyone eating cereal?" Nick asked cautiously. "Where's the big Stokes' breakfast spread?"

"Are you asking where Mamma is?" The brother asked. "Because it's Mamma who makes the breakfast around here and she's obviously not feeling the spirit this time around. Can't imagine why that is, can you Little Brother?"

Greg pushed away from the table and carried his bowl toward the kitchen. He tried his best to keep his tone light and unaffected. "Can you show me where the coffee is, Nicky?"

"Nicky..." Brother Stokes mumbled under his breath before saying loud enough for the two men to hear as they disappeared into the kitchen, "...his name's _**Nick**_!"

Nick followed Greg into the kitchen and as soon as the door swung closed he grabbed his tense lover by the elbow and spun him around. "What's going on, G?"

"They hate me." Greg admitted.

"What happened?" Nick asked, concern written all over his face.

Greg wanted to be held and knowing he couldn't ask for it was excruciating. "Your brother is...they're all so...this is worse than I thought it would be."

Nick moved a little closer. "Do you want to leave?"

_Yes._ That's exactly what he wanted to do. "You need to be here. It's important. The only way they'll accept you is if they spend time with you and see that you're the same Nick they've always known."

"Only happier." Nick smiled.

Greg was starting to wonder about that, though. How could Nick be happier when everything was so hard for him now. A tiny part of him wondered if things were better before - when Nick hid and lied and put Greg in the back of his metaphorical closet whenever people were around.

Nick stepped into Greg's personal space. "It's true, G. I'm so happy. I'm just not afraid to let people know _**why**_, now."

Greg felt a bolt of apprehension shoot down his spine when he felt Nick's arms slide around his waist to pull him closer. He made a weak attempt to push Nick away before succumbing to his own need to feel Nick's warmth all around him. As soon as his arms wrapped around Nick too, he felt so much better. Stronger. Ready to take the next round of jabs. Anything for Nick. "Someone might..."

"Shhhhh." Nick soothed into Greg's hair. "I don't care. Let them see. There's nothing wrong with what we're doing."

Greg tightened his hold. "It's so good to hear you say that."

"I know this is hard on you, too. And we can leave any time. Just say the word." Nick's hand skimmed along Greg's back. "But I really appreciate that you're here and willing to stick it out. You're right, they just need time. I swear they aren't usually like this. I come from good people."

Hearing Nick try to defend his family was a little heartbreaking. Greg pulled back enough to look Nick in the eyes. "Of course they are. No one as innately good as you are could come from people who behave the they have over the last 24-hours."

He could see the smile in Nick's eyes and knew he said exactly the right thing.

"We're not going anywhere, Nicky." Greg felt bolstered now and actually believed his own words. "We're in this together."

"Thanks, G."

"Can we grab some coffee and go for a little walk?" Greg wasn't ready to face the clan again.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Nick seemed excited to be showing Greg around the property. It seemed that every few feet held a story from Nick's childhood. The Stokes' ranch was a magical place to grow-up, that was perfectly clear. As they rounded the farthest corner of the big garden shed, Nick grabbed Greg's wrist and pulled him to a stop. "Come here."

The demanding tone of Nick's voice cause a flurry of butterfly wings to take flight in Greg's belly. The kiss that followed ignited a fire. Greg was starting to really like the new Nick. He had worried that being in Texas would send his boyfriend right back into closet-mode - but instead it seemed like each minute they were there strengthened Nick's resolve. Greg gave himself to the kiss, enjoying the stolen moment of intimacy.

Nick was the first to end the kiss. Greg watched as Nick licked the flavor of their kiss from his lips as if he had just been given a fix of his addiction. Greg liked thinking of himself as Nick's addiction. It was something new - Greg had never felt this kind of need from Nick before the day a minivan almost ended him. Greg had always assumed he was the only one who felt it.

He was suddenly reminded of the question he'd tucked away the previous afternoon. "Can I ask you something?"

Nick nodded before leaning against the wooden wall of the shed and pulled Greg until he leaned against Nick's body. "Shoot."

"What's the story with the woman a couple of years ago?"

Nick looked confused. "Woman?"

Greg didn't want to come off defensive or judgmental, he just wanted to know the truth. "You stayed out all night - holiday trip - something about a woman you went to high school with..."

"Oh."

Greg could see it immediately. Nick not only remembered, but he felt guilty. "You can tell me. We were usually on a break when you came home for the holidays anyway - so it's not like you were cheating..."

"I didn't fuck her, G." Nick interrupted. "I swear."

"So what's the story, then?" Greg could tell he wasn't going to like it.

Nick rested his forehead against Greg's shoulder and whispered loudly, "Shit."

_He can't even look at me._ "Tell me, Nick."

"It was a set-up. Will's wife was friends with the girl I took to senior prom. Sheena Mallory was her name. She had just divorced and they all thought it would be perfect for us to get together. So we did." Nick explained. He still wasn't looking at Greg.

"And..." Greg prompted.

"I went to pick her up at her house and we...just never left. I was still pissed at you and I missed you and I...I guess I was just confused so when she offered me a drink before we went out I said yes and before I knew it we were half naked in her bedroom. We fucked a lot in high school - so I knew we had some chemistry and I figured why not."

"I thought you said you didn't fuck her." This time Greg couldn't hide the pain in his tone.

The sound of it brought Nick's eyes up. "I didn't."

"But..."

"She was straddling me - we were naked - and it felt all wrong. She was soft and curvy and smelled like..."

"Pussy?" Greg hated how petulant he sounded.

"And gardenia. I didn't want her. I didn't want to be there. I just wanted to go home - not to my parent's home - but home to _**you**_. I realized that I only wanted you. So I pretended to pass out and snuck out after she fell asleep. I drove around all night thinking."

"So you had some naked, horny woman ready to ride you into next week and you're telling me you pretended to be passed out drunk? You expect me to believe that you have that much control over your dick that you went limp so you could pretend..."

"Greg." Nick stopped him, a small smirk set on his lips. "I never said I got hard to begin with."

"You?" Greg knew he looked skeptical. Because he _**was**_ skeptical. "Nicky - you get hard rubbing against a tree."

"That should tell you something then, shouldn't it."

He_** looked**_ sincere. Greg couldn't see anything in his lovers eyes to indicate that he was lying. But something still wasn't right. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Nick took a minute to think about it. Greg could see the wheels spinning as Nick tried to put together his answer. He was surprised by what he heard when Nick finally spoke.

"I should have, Greg. I'm sorry."

It was perfect. It was heartfelt. It was enough for Greg. "Is there anything else I should know about?"

Nick nodded his head shyly before kissing Greg softly. "I love you."

And yeah, Texas sucked - but this right here - this perfect moment with Nick - this made everything worth it. Greg thought it was just what he needed to get him through the rest of the weekend.

Right after he was done kissing Nick.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6 Meet the Stokes Nick's POV

Title: Meet the Stokes - Nick POV (Last Chance Part 6)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~7300

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU)

Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

His body clock was shot to hell. It always was during the first couple of days back home. So it was no surprise to him when he woke up on the comfortable couch in a small study off of the back of the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands in an attempt to clear the fog and tried to remember how he ended up in this particular room.

Then it all came rushing back - his walk with Greg, the brief make-out session behind the shed, the moment of honesty that was both a heartbreak and a celebration at the same time - then the little bubble of happiness they had created was burst before either of them could get more than two bites of the sandwich they made themselves for lunch.

_Fucking Will._

His brother sat closely next to Greg at the table - a little _**too**_ close. Nick recognized the intimidation strategy right away and tried to remedy the situation. "Back off, Will." Okay, maybe he could have been more subtle.

"You got a problem Little Brother?" Will said while leaning even closer to the nervous man next to him.

"Yeah. Big Brother. Why is it that you're close to fifteen years older than me but you act like you're a fucking child?" Nick glared.

"Language, Nicholas." Will smirked while leaning in front of Greg to grab the other half of his sandwich. "Good to see you're sticking to simple food now."

He watched his lover's face become a bright shade of crimson. "Greg?"

Greg looked across the table apologetically. "I'll give you guys some family time." He said as he scooted his chair back. "I'm not that hungry."

"Where you going, G?" _Because I'm going with you._ He left the last part unspoken.

"He just told you." Bill goaded. "He's giving us _**family**_ time."

Nick glared at his brother. "Greg_** is**_ my family."

'It's okay, Nicky." Greg shrugged. "I didn't get much sleep last night. I think I'll run downstairs and take a nap."

Nick _**knew**_ Greg. And the look on Greg's face and the tone of his voice was on the edge complete defeat, The mood shift in his boyfriend was dramatic and sudden. Nick knew there was something Greg wasn't telling him. It was something bad and it was something about his brother.

"I'll see you later, Nicky." Greg said before walking toward the basement stairwell.

"His name is _**Nick**_!" Bill almost yelled as Greg walked away.

"Would you shut up!" Nick demanded. "What the hell did he ever do to you?"

"My brother." Nick had Will's full attention now. "He did my brother."

"He's not the first guy I've been with, you know." Nick wanted to be perfectly clear. "So stop blaming him. I've been gay for as long as I can remember. If you want to be mad at the first guy I fondled, be mad at Marcus Becker from second grade."

Will looked unconvinced. "You never said anything before."

Nick rolled his eyes. "I wonder why."

"Doesn't really matter. He's the first guy you brought home." Will wasn't backing down. "He's the one here in your family home - making a fool out of you."

"How do you figure he's doing that?"

"Just looking at the way he eats should tell you something." Will grunted. "Shouldn't he be on his best behavior? If he was really such a dream-date he wouldn't humiliate you in front of your family."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The way he shovels food like a damn ape-man. I told him though. He needs to show more respect than that. He's an embarrassment. I sure as hell wouldn't want anyone to see that - it's disgusting..."

"What?" Nick knew this wasn't really about the way Greg holds a fork. But the fact that his brother chose that particular flaw to focus on made absolutely no sense. "Did you say all of that to him?" _Asshole. _

Will nodded and chuckled. "More or less."

Nick lunged across the table, startling the stupid grin right off of his brother's face. "If I ever hear you speak to him that way again I'll put you in the hospital."

"You think you can take me, Brother." Will refused to back down.

"Oh, I know I can - Old Man." Nick clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. "Who the hell do you think you are judging him. Greg is more of a man than you'll ever be. He barely survived a beating a couple of years ago. He saw some tourist getting pummeled by a gang of fucked up kids and he intervened. Saved the guy's life and almost lost his in the process. He had some nerve damage that will never go away. He incapable of holding a fork or spoon any other way. It's just one of the many things he had to learn how to do all over again. Do you think you would have sacrificed so much to help someone else? Would you have the courage to put yourself back together again?"

Will still looked smug, but remained silent.

"You don't have to answer that - I already know." Nick needed to find Greg and he needed to find him now. "Leave him be, Will. I mean it."

Will crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. "He's not welcome here, Nick."

Nick was suddenly sure of one thing. "I don't want him here, either."

"It's about damn time..."

"I obviously overestimated the Stokes' family integrity." Nick interrupted his brother. "He's too good for this family. Don't worry, Brother, we'll be gone tonight."

Nick tried to shake off the lingering guilt from knowing what Greg had endured on his behalf. He sat on the old leather couch in the old study adjacent to the kitchen and wondered how long he had been asleep. He had only come into the small study to steady his emotions before he went to look for Greg. He wanted to be calm and reassuring - and to do that he needed to calm himself down.

He never meant to fall asleep.

_Fuck. _

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He was so disappointed in his family. They had been nothing but rude and hostile to Greg since the moment he stepped through the door. _I should have done something sooner. I should have dragged his ass out of here yesterday when they wouldn't let him stay in my room. I should have gotten us a hotel room and begged him to forgive me for bringing him here in the first place._

He had known it wouldn't be easy - they both did. After all, every Stokes known to Texas had practically begged him not to bring his boyfriend. But they were Stokes and Stokes were nothing if not proper and polite. The worst he expected was an icy reception with gradual thawing as they got to know the man he had fallen in love with so many years ago.

_**These**_ people were not the same people he grew up with.

_It's time to go home._

Nick took a deep breath and crept out of the study to find Greg. He knew exactly where he would be and found himself standing at the top of the basement stairwell within minutes. _Just go down there a get him._ Nick could feel his palms sweating as his breathing became rapid and shallow. _Come on, Stokes - man up._ He stepped down onto the first step of the narrow space and couldn't breathe. _Fucking hell._ "Greg?" He managed to call his lover's name between gasping for air. "Greg, baby, are you down there?" _No answer. Shit. _

"I don't think he's down there." Nick spun around and leaned against the wall. Brianna was standing in the doorway, blocking the only way out, and Nick was trying his best not to trample his niece to get out of the tiny, tiny space.

"Hey, B." He managed to say without too much obvious emotion. "Why do you think Greg's not down there?"

"Because he...left." She shrugged.

"Left?" Nick was starting to forget his claustrophobia because another, more paralyzing fear was taking its place. He swallowed thickly. "Where'd he go?"

"I think he's around here somewhere." She answered while stepping onto the same step with Nick. She lowered the volume of her voice to a whisper. "I checked the front - your rental car is still there."

"What happened?" Nick was whispering now too.

"They caught him down there with the boys." She pointed down the stairs.

Nick was struggling to keep up. "They?"

"Grams and Uncle Will." She explained further. "Though by the time the screaming started, everyone was down there...except you."

"How could I miss that? I was right there in the damn study." Nick realized he just swore at his Niece. "Sorry, B."

"Grams puts us in the basement when we're all here because she says it's soundproof and we can make all the noise we want without disturbing the rest of the house So it's not your fault you couldn't hear."

"Why didn't anyone come get me?"

She shrugged.

"Brianna, what happened?" Nick hated that he immediately saw Greg and naked nephews. He _**knew **_Greg wasn't capable of such things, but hearing that Greg was _**caught**_ with the boys in the _**basement **_sent Nick's mind in directions he couldn't control.

Nick knew first hand that adults and children and basements weren't always the best combination. _It's Greg. My Greg. He isn't capable of...is he?_ "Bri, honey, tell me what they caught Greg doing." Nick hated himself for the images he was creating in his mind. He hated himself for even thinking Greg could do anything so vile. He hated himself for jumping to conclusions about what Greg was up to with his young nephews in an isolated basement. "B. Honey..." Nick placed a gentle, reassuring hand on Brianna's shoulder. "...you can tell me anything. Just tell me what Greg did." He _**hated**_ himself.

"Mario Carts." She answered.

"Mario Carts?" _What?_ "I don't understand."

"We were playing Mario Carts. Greg's really good, too. It started out with just us girls and Greg, but the boys showed up after about an hour and we all took turns. Greg beat the stuffing out of Kayla, so it was Billy's turn. Billy started cheating right away. He always tries to push the controller out of the other guy's hands. Greg was ready for it though. He blocked him and they just started pushing back and forth and laughing - we were all laughing because Greg is really funny - and then _**they**_ walked in and started screaming at him."

Nick was so confused and felt a million times more guilty for the niggling voice in the very back of his brain that was _**still**_ assuming the worst. "Why did they start screaming? You can tell me, B."

"Uncle Nick..." Brianna looked at him with the wisdom that can only come from a child. "...don't you love him?"

He wasn't expecting that. "What?"

"I thought you loved Uncle Greg." She said with pure innocence without a hint of judgement.

_Uncle Greg?_ Nick thought of all of the kids throughout the years who had called their molester "uncle" and cringed for still be so suspect of his lover. "What does that have to do with..."

His young niece interrupted him and he could see that she was fighting with herself to do it. It was completely counter to her Stokes' upbringing, but he could also see that she was feeling bitterly disappointed in him. "If you love him how could you think he _**did**_ anything? How could you love someone who would even be capable of..._**that**_?"

"B, honey, do you even know what I'm..."

"I'm not a baby, Uncle Nick." Brianna pushed her way past him and walked down the stairs where Nick wouldn't - _**couldn't**_ - follow. "Maybe it's better if he did leave. I'm sure knowing that you're just like the rest of them would kill him."

The parting words of his thirteen year-old niece cut him deep. She was right, of course. Just like the rest of them. That's what she said.

Just.

Like.

Them.

He didn't want to be just like them. He wasn't even sure he cared anymore if they approved or accepted or tolerated or...anything when it came to his life with Greg. He sure as hell wasn't going to let them plant seeds of doubt in his own mind because they were too ignorant to know the difference between a child molester _babysitter_ and a homosexual _love of my life_.

And the fact that he even considered for one second that Greg was capable of such things filled Nick with intense, deep shame.

It was exactly the wake-up call _kick in the ass_ that he needed.

_We're going home. Right Now._

With his new resolve, Nick started his search for his lover so they could get the hell out of Dodge. Before he could make his way out of the back door to look for Greg outside, he was stopped by the voice of his father's behind him.

"I think we need to talk, Son."

Nick froze with his hand on the door knob. "About?"

"Your...friend...I'm afraid we're going to need to ask him to leave after..."

Nick spun around and for the first time in his life he stood up to his father and every single ideal he was raised to aspire toward. "Don't worry. We're _**both**_ leaving. I'm sure you'll all feel safer without the fags in the house."

"Nicholas. You're not..."

He didn't want to hear another word of it. He didn't want to hear the innuendo that Greg was somehow responsible for corrupting the golden-boy of the family. He didn't want to hear another cloaked insult. "We're the same, he and I." Nick explained very clearly. "We're both gay, Dad. We're the _**same**_."

"No. You're _**not**_ the same." Bill said through clenched teeth. "You're a _**good man**_, Nick."

"So is he." For the first time since the first kiss, Nick felt like he was being the man Greg deserved. "Like I said, he and I are the same." Nick watched his father's stance tense up as he started formulating another argument of why Nick was confused and under the spell of a heathen. "As a matter of fact..." Nick felt his chest swell with pride as the next six words came out of his mouth. "...Greg makes me a_** better**_ man."

"I don't know if you heard, but we found him with the boys in a compromising..."

"Video games, Dad." Nick's anger bubbled over. "You caught him playing video games. How could you even think...were you all just waiting for an opportunity to...you..." Nick realized he was wasting time when he should be looking for his lover. "You know what - you're not worth the effort...I'm going to find Greg and then we're going home."

"You are home, Son." His father almost demanded.

Nock shook his head sadly. "This isn't home anymore, Dad. You've all made that perfectly clear."

It had been over an hour since Nick had left his stunned father in the kitchen to wander around the property in search of his boyfriend. He couldn't find Greg anywhere. He knew Greg had to be devastated - humiliated - and Nick just wanted to find him and make it better. He wanted to throw him in the car and drive to the nearest hotel and spend the entire night making things right.

But Greg seemed to have disappeared.

He hadn't looked in the room he himself had been assigned for the weekend because he really didn't think Greg would tempt fate by going into the room he had been forbidden to even look at because they weren't a proper married couple. But after looking everywhere else he figured he would give it a shot.

Greg wasn't there.

But he apparently had been earlier. And he left a note. And a present.

Nick wanted to throw up.

The note was poignant and so...Greg.

_**I tried. I'm really sorry. The Sander's charm has met its match with the Stokes. I'm going home. I called a cab. I'm meeting them at the end of the drive so no one notices. Could you bring my bags when you come home? I didn't want to take the time to pack. Okay, the truth is I want to sneak out like the coward that I am. Please thank your parents for the invitation. I wanted to give this to you tomorrow but now I won't be here and I still want you to have it on our anniversary so I'm leaving it here and you totally don't have to keep it. I hope I'll see you at home on Monday. I'm really sorry.**_

_**P.S. I swear I wasn't doing anything inappropriate or weird down there. I promise you. **_

_**P.S.S. I love you.**_

_God._ Nick smiled grimly. _He even rambles in notes._ He took the gift bag from the same night stand where he found the note and moved tissue paper around until his fingers felt it. He knew immediately what it was.

It was heartbreaking.

It took less than fifteen minutes for Nick to gather all of their belongings from two separate floors of the house. He was still a little shocked that he saw no one while he made his escape. There were no less than twenty-seven Stokes of all ages in the house and he didn't see a single soul.

It was either divine intervention or they were all hiding until the golden-boy-turned-black-sheep was gone. To Nick, it really didn't matter either way. The only thing that mattered was getting to Greg as soon as humanly possible. During the entire hour-long drive to the airport, Nick's mind ran through romantic scene after romantic scene. He pictured Greg sitting sadly in an uncomfortable chair in the terminal, waiting for the last flight to Vegas. Nick would walk right up to him, pull him into his arms, tell him he loved him and there was nothing he would rather do than to marry him and then he would kiss his tear soaked lover right there in front of hundreds people - who would all cheer them on for the happy, sappy reunion.

The last part was optional.

By the time he had turned in his rental car and shuttled himself and three bags to the terminal he found that he had missed the last direct flight to Vegas.

And Greg wasn't sitting sadly on any bench at any terminal waiting for the cheer squad to applaud their kiss.

Greg was long gone.

So Nick did the only thing he could think of and paid way too much money for a stitched together itinerary that took nine hours with three stops and two plane changes to get him home.

It occurred to him on the second stop that he would have gotten home sooner had he just waited for the next direct flight in the morning.

But that's how desperate he was to get to Greg. He couldn't even think logically.

He almost lost his shit when he _**finally**_ walked into their bedroom and saw Greg sleeping.

It had been a long night and excruciatingly emotional journey and he was so beyond relieved that Greg hadn't decided Nick wasn't worth the trouble and left him for good.

Nick didn't waste any time joining his lover in bed. He didn't even remember taking his clothes off, but he realized he did when he felt skin-on-skin from head to toe.

He didn't even try to _**not**_ wake the man he was smelling with deep gasps of air. Greg's body stirred to life and Nick couldn't stop the tears when he felt the man in his arms turn to face him and snake his arms around Nick's waist.

"You're home." Greg's voice sounded heavy with sleep and emotion.

Nick buried his fingers into the messy mop of curls. When he saw the glint of light reflecting off of his finger as it sank into the soft locks, he thought of the perfect way to respond. He worked the smaller band off of a finger on his other hand and pushed Greg onto his back. He held the shiny band in front of Greg's face. "You left this. I thought you might want it so I brought it home for you."

Greg smiled. "Let me see." He said as he pulled Nick's other hand from his hair. Nick watched Greg's eyes well up when he saw that Nick's left ring finger was now adorned with the matching ring. "Does this mean you like your gift?"

Nick slipped Greg's ring onto his finger as he whispered. "I _**love**_ my gift." He placed a soft kiss on Greg's lips. "I love _**you**_."

He felt like he didn't deserve the smile that lit up Greg's face. He couldn't believe that the man grinning like a fool beneath him was so happy just because Nick Stokes came home and gave him a ring. A ring that Greg actually bought himself. He didn't think he would ever understand Greg's devotion to a man that spent so many years taking him for granted.

And it wasn't just happiness that Nick saw in Greg's smile. There was also relief in his eyes. _ He thought I would leave him. _ That just wouldn't do. Nick kissed Greg with so much desperation to make him understand that he would never, ever leave that he elicited a shocked gasp from his lover. It only took a second for Greg to get on board and kiss back with just as much desperation. After several minutes of bruising kissing, Nick pulled back enough to look Greg in the eyes. There was so much to talk about - so much to say - so many regrets and so many promises to never do anything to regret again.

But first he just needed to feel. He needed to reassure himself that Greg was here.

"Nick..." Greg's eyes filled. "...I'm sorry..."

"Please don't." He couldn't stand to hear Greg apologize for being so damn patient and accepting of people who didn't deserve to breathe the same air with him.

"I really tried." Greg ignored Nick.

"I know."

Greg's eyes clouded. "I didn't..."

"Greg." He couldn't stand it. "I know. Okay? _**I know**_." He didn't mean for it to come out so harshly. And he felt immediate and profound remorse. "Greg..."

"Did they tell you what happened?" Greg asked with a slight tremor to his voice. "Do you know?"

"I didn't hang around long enough to get the details. I don't really care what the details are - at least not from them. You're the only one that matters, G. I want to hear everything and then I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." Nick caressed Greg's stubbled cheek. "But right now I don't want to talk."

"No?" Greg's amazing resilience kicked in. The pain was still there, but it was now hiding behind a playful twinkle.

Nick could feel himself smirking before he kissed Greg's neck. His skin was warm and was potent with Greg-smell. "No." He whispered before trailing tiny kisses along Greg's jaw.

"Don't you think...ohgod...don't you think we should talk about it?" Greg was almost breathless just from the light nipping.

It was such a relief that Nick allowed a nervous chuckle to ghost across Greg's face. "Yes. We will. We'll talk a lot - later." Nick's hands skimmed across pale skin covered in old scars that reminded Nick of how many times he had almost lost him. "Right now I want to do something else."

"Nick..." Greg almost begged as their hard cocks started a fire between them.

"Greg, please..." Nick _**was**_ begging. "...please Baby, fuck me. Please. Just (kiss) fuck (kiss) me."

And everything shifted. They both knew what it meant. Nick could count the number of times he had let Greg fuck him on his hands and still have a few fingers left over. Nick never really liked it before Greg. And he had to admit that with Greg, it actually felt _**good**_ - really, _**really**_ good - but he still wasn't a big fan. The only time that Nick wanted it that way was when he needed to feel connected - possessed - stretched and filled to the point of having absolutely no doubt that he was alive and loved and part of something real. They could both recall every single time - that's how special and rare it was.

The time when a gun was so close to Nick's face he could smell the gun metal.

There was the night Greg held NIck all night and murmured in his ear that he was safe and no one was in the attic watching them.

There was the time that Greg was crumpled on a floor full of glass and flames.

There was the time Nick was buried and the time Greg was beaten and the time Nick lost his shit when he thought the shrink molested the dead boy in the blanket.

And of course - there was the time he watched Greg almost die against the brick wall of the lab.

And now Nick needed it more than he can _**ever**_ remember needing it.

And that's the way it always was - every single time - it was all about _**Nick's**_ needs. It was Nick who needed the reassurances. It was Nick who needed the comfort. Greg was always so willing and _**so damn good**_, but it was always Greg taking care of Nick and they both knew it. Just the timing told them what and who it was about. Because Nick made a habit of disappearing any time something went horribly wrong – any time people were forced into the little bubble he had secured around them. Nick wasn't really there when it was Greg who was falling apart with need. By the time Nick showed up, Greg was relatively whole. At least that's what Nick told himself.

But this time was different. This time was surely about Nick – but it was about _**Greg**_ too. They both needed to feel the connection that only comes from Nick letting go enough to be vulnerable. The sex was really only symbolic of what was happening underneath the surface. Nick was giving in and giving up and letting himself be consumed in every way by his lover. It was the only way Nick had ever been able to feel even _**close **_to real. Of course he hadn't really understood it all until he had nine hours with himself to think about it. He sat on planes and in airports – fingering platinum bands and contemplating eight years of his life. Each brush of fingertip to smooth metal brought another fragment of his shattered existence into place. He felt his heart seize in his chest when the final piece connected with all the others.

_**Greg**_ was real.

Greg knew him better than anyone. Greg had seen the best of him and the worst of him and loved him despite himself. He never had to lie or hide or make shit up when it came to Greg because Greg accepted the full package without hesitation. Greg understood him when he didn't understand himself. It was only through Greg that _**Nick**_ felt real too. It was only through Greg that Nick was complete because it was _**only**_ Greg with whom Nick could ever be complete.

Why hadn't he ever understood that before? Why did it take so many years and so many close calls and a day and a half of watching Greg sacrifice for the sake of Nick's family to _**get it**_? Shame filled him up. _**He**_ had been sacrificing Greg, too.

For _**years**_.

Greg had silently taken over while Nick had been wrestling with his last remaining lingering demons. He had been gently rolled onto his tummy and Greg was now trailing a mixture of soft kisses and solid nips of teeth along the expanse of his back. Nick knew what was coming because it's the way Greg always did this. Greg doesn't rush these rare opportunities. He savors each second. He takes it slow. He almost worships each moment he's given to kneel at the altar of Nick's body. And this was no acceptation – except for the slight tremor of Greg's fingers as they skimmed along his flesh and the murmuring of apologies from his lips.

He wanted to say something. He wanted to tell Greg there was nothing to apologize for. He wanted to tell Greg that in all the years they had been doing this, Greg had never, ever done anything that required regrets on his part. He wanted to tell Greg that the only regrets – the only apologies – belonged to Nick himself.

He wanted to say a lot of things but the only sound he could muster was a low rumble from deep within his chest because Greg's tongue was now circling the place between his parted cheeks - the place that Nick had reserved only for the man currently doing the licking.

Nick squirmed. "G - I haven't had a shower since..."

"You're fine...better than fine...god Nicky...so good..." Greg mumbled before pressing his tongue flat against Nick's opening.

Nick hissed at the sensation and even though he knew Greg was lying because there was no way any man could be rim-worthy after nine hours of travel and a day-and-a-half without a shower. He went with it anyway when he felt the heat of Greg's reassuring husky voice.

"Love eating your ass, Baby."

"Geezus...fuck...G..." Greg had been the only man who was ever given such unlimited access to his body. It was only Greg that Nick had _**ever **_trusted enough to become this vulnerable. And this is how Greg _**always **_did it. He gave immense pleasure before he took any pleasure for himself. "...feels _**so good**_, Greg."

Though from the noises Greg made while he worked magic on Nick's hole – Nick was fairly certain that Greg got a lot out of it, too.

He pushed his hips off of the mattress to get more of Greg's stubble against the inside of his cheeks and more of Greg's tongue inside of the place where Greg's cock would be in a few minutes. Nick can't remember _**ever**_ feeling this much need for Greg to just take him. He can't remember ever feeling so much desperation for Greg to - "...oh god Baby...feels so good…" _**fuck**_ him.

And sure - Nick has _**needed**_ it before, but he's never been so _**desperate**_ for Greg to fuck him.

It was like Greg could read his mind – or his body – maybe even his soul. He sank his face deeper into Nick's ass to plunge his tongue as far inside as he could before he began the reverse trail of lips and teeth to the hypersensitive skin of Nick's back. Greg soon pressed himself full-bodied against Nick's back and huffed with warm breath against his ear. "Don't move...be right back."

Nick had a tiny moment of panic that Greg was going to just...stop. But then he understood. Greg had leaned across the bed to reach down to the bottom shelf of the small bookcase next to their bed.

"No." Nick immediately felt the tension from his lover at the tone of his voice. He realized that he must have sounded like he wanted to stop - and he certainly wasn't about to let that misunderstanding last for more than one second. "Just you." He tried to explain as clearly as his over-heated brain would allow.

He watched Greg looking back at him with a shocked confused expression. While it was rare for Nick to bottom - they did do it once in a while - but never - _**ever**_ - without a condom. And not because Nick was worried about diseases - but because Nick hated the way it felt to have someone come in his ass. Hated it. And he was very, very clear about it. He didn't want Greg's come anywhere near his ass. Greg had teased him once and the memory stung Nick a little. _"You'll swallow but you won't let me fuck you bare back? That's a little weird Nicky." "If you say one more word about it I'll never swallow again, either." "Relax, Babe. I'm just giving you a hard..." "Just shut the fuck up about it. It makes me sick to even think about...so drop it."_

Needless to say neither one of them got any that night.

Nick tried to give Greg the best seductive grin of his life. "Just grab the lube and get back over here and fuck me."

"Nick?" Greg said his name like a hesitant question as he leaned to grab the lube. Once Greg had settled back on top of Nick's reclined body, he rolled his hips against Nick's ass to show him how hard he was and whispered in a nervous, breathy voice against the back of Nick's neck. "Are you sure?"

Nick heard himself groaning more than anything else. "Yes."

"Oh my god...Nick..." Greg sounded nervous and thrilled at the same time.

It was a big deal. Nick knew this, but it was still a little heartbreaking to hear_**how**_big it was for Greg. After all these years together - this shouldn't be such a monumental moment for them. Nick knew it was his fault and he promised himself to make sure he gave as much as he took from now on.

And by the time Greg slid inside of him, Nick wasn't sure anymore who was giving and who was taking because Greg made even the tiniest of movement impossibly erotic and enormously pleasurable. It felt like he was paying attention to every twitch of muscle or the slightest of moans and calculated some magical sexual formula in his genius brain to respond perfectly.

Or maybe this was the first time Nick paid this much attention to the details.

He was beginning to wonder why he was so resistant to this for so long. He was beginning to wonder if maybe he was the biggest idiot on the fucking planet to have refused this - because this felt so fucking good.

Greg felt so fucking good.

He thinks he heard himself begging for...something. He can't be sure because his brain was being bombarded with tiny, white explosions - but he's pretty sure he just begged for deeper or harder or some combination of both. And - _Oh god_ - did Greg deliver perfectly. He never wanted it to end.

He seriously never wanted it to end.

He reached behind to grip one of Greg's sweaty thighs. "Greg...fuck...G, wait..."

And just like that everything stopped. He felt Greg's weight draped across his back and felt his warm breath against his neck. "What's wrong, Baby? Did I hurt you?" His voice sounded instantly remorseful and it tore Nick's heart out.

"No! No...I just..." Nick wasn't sure how to even explain it. "...I don't want it to be over yet."

And they both stilled. The sound of heavy breathing replaced the rhythm of sweat, skin, and sex. They both knew it was about so much more than just sex.

Nick didn't want _**them**_ to be over.

After a few moments of pause, Nick felt Greg's mouth touching his neck and shoulders and the top if his spine before long, slender - but remarkably strong - arms wrapped around him and hauled his body off of the mattress. The next thing Nick felt was the warmth of Greg behind him and the back of his own thighs firmly planted against the top of Greg's. Greg was deep inside of him, deeper than Nick had ever allowed anyone, even Greg, before - but it still wasn't enough. Nick squirmed a bit until he could feel Greg slide just a little bit deeper and sighed before leaning his head back until it rested on Greg's shoulder. "Greg..."

Greg nibbled lovingly along the line of Nick's neck before he whispered into Nick's ear. "Never over, Baby."

Nick felt his throat close with emotion and all he could do was nod against Greg's shoulder and hope he understood.

Apparently he did because he was gently thrusting underneath Nick's ass, holding Nick tightly to his chest with finger splayed against Nick's chest with a grip so hard he was surely leaving bruises. Nick could feel the cold metal Greg now wore on his left hand and it felt perfect.

Nick's knees were aching with every muscle in his calves and thighs as his toes curled against Greg's legs. Their bodies moved together - faster and faster. Nick felt a surge of fire flickering up his spine and - _god_ - it felt so fucking good - _so good so good so good_.

"It's better than good, Nicky." Greg's voice was husky from exertion as he groaned into Nick's neck.

Did he say that out loud? Nick couldn't tell anymore what was in his head and what was coming out of his mouth and he really didn't care because he just wanted to feel everything. Just. Feel.

He grabbed one of Greg's wrists and slid their hands down his chest until Greg took the hint and gripped onto Nick's aching cock and began stroking him perfectly with perfect pressure and expertly timed twisting of fingers around his engorged head until the building pressure between his dick and his prostate were short circuiting every brain cell in his head and his heart was beating out of his chest and damn if he didn't feel a hot trail of tears flowing down his cheeks and it was all too much and not enough and everything in between and why didn't he ever appreciate this as much before because Greg is definitely a gift and Nick was planning on spending the rest of his life making right all the wrongs he had piled upon the man currently rocking him into a blissful release that left him in a silent black euphoria.

When he felt damp sheets beneath his back and a warm Greg draped across his hips, Nick realized he had actually blacked out from the intensity of his orgasm.

That had never happened before.

It was kind of awesome. Nick grinned as that thought sluggishly entered his mind.

They were both still gasping for air as Greg adjusted himself to snuggle against the length of Nick's side. "I'll go get a warm wash cloth and clean you up." Greg said without making any effort to move.

Nick chuckled. "It's okay. We'll take care of it later." Nick heard his own voice and was a little turned on all over again by how rough it sounded. He didn't remember screaming as he came, but it sure sounded like he did.

"You sure?" Greg moved his head enough to look at Nick's profile. "I don't mind. I know how much you hate..."

"Don't hate it." Nick tried hard to complete sentences and pulled Greg's body closer. "Don't leave me."

Again, they both knew Nick meant more than just leaving the bed.

"I won't." Greg assured and nuzzled back into Nick's neck. "But we still need to talk about it."

Nick sighed. He knew Greg was right and he knew there was a lot to figure out together and he knew that the last three days had changed_** everything**_ between them - hopefully for the better - but for now all Nick wanted to do was keep holding his lover and listening to the way they breathed in exactly the same rhythm and feel the realness that only Greg had ever been able to instill in his life.

"I know." Nick turned onto his side so he could fully embrace Greg. They were sweaty and sticky and gross by most people's standards but Nick didn't care about any of that. "We will. I promise."

That seemed like enough for Greg and as soon as Nick felt Greg's relax in his arms and make the adorable sound that Greg swears isn't snoring, Nick allowed himself to drift off into slumber thinking about all the ways he was going to make up for every wrong he had ever done to the man _**not**_ snoring in his arms.

The next time he opened his bleary eyes, he found himself alone in a wrecked bed. He couldn't help feeling a little bit apprehensive and wondered if Greg had come to his senses and left him. Greg had so many reasons to leave and just one of them would be justification for walking away with no regrets.

He slowly pushed himself from the twisted nest of pillows and sheets and sat on the edge of the bed with his feet pressed firmly into the carpet. He yawned with his arms stretched over his head and winced from the ache between his cheeks - magnified by the tugging of tiny hair from the crusty mess he had fallen asleep without cleaning up. He decided he didn't mind it as much as he thought and wriggled a little to free up the rest of the glued-together-hair-cheek-balls situation. He suddenly realized that there was a lot of silence happening in the apartment and his heart started pounding out of his chest as he thought through all the reasons why that might be.

Nick jumped from the bed and pulled on the closest thing he could grab - which happened to be pair of Greg's hanging-around-the-house-sweats. He peed as fast as possible and rushed into the kitchen to start his search for Greg. When he didn't find him leaning against the counter sipping coffee his apprehension converted to full blown freak out. Greg never moved far from the coffee maker until he had had at least three cups in him. He hadn't even made coffee and this fact made Nick want to throw up. "Damn it."

"What?" Greg startled him from behind.

Nick spun around and made an embarrassing sobbing sound as relief swept through him. "Couldn't find you."

Greg held up a brown paper bag. "We were out of coffee."

"Oh." Nick took two steps and pulled Greg into a fierce hug. He buried his face into Greg's neck and let himself cry. "Oh."

Greg dropped the bag onto the counter behind them and wrapped his arms around Nick. He held onto Nick as if it were a matter of life and death. "Hey. We're okay. Okay?"

"I don't know who those people were. They...I've never seen them be so...I swear Greg, I would have never...if I had known that...I wouldn't...god I'm so sorry...please..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Nicky." Greg interrupted. "We'll talk, we'll figure it all out together, and then we'll move on. Together. Okay?"

Nick nodded and clung tighter. "Why?"

He wasn't sure if Greg would understand the question. Why is he still here? Why has he forgiven Nick for so much? For so long? Why is Greg standing here reassuring the clueless, selfish man who was just starting to get it?

"Because I love you, Nicky."

And if that was enough for Greg then that was enough for Nick, too.

"I love you, too Baby."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7 Redefining Family

Title: Redefining Family (Last Chance Part 7)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~6300

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Nick had a new nervous habit.

He would catch himself spinning the platinum band around and around and around on his left ring finger all day long.

No one noticed. Except Greg, of course. And the only reaction Nick ever saw in Greg when he caught him in the act was a big, stupid, shit-eating grin. Which always made Nick blush just a little.

They had been back for a few weeks and not one person mentioned the matching bands they wore - though Sara seemed a bit like the cat that swallowed the canary sometimes.

It was perplexing. Nick had moments when he actually felt a little offended. These were his best friends and no one had even asked him how it went back home.

He thought about it all the time, often to the point of distraction. Which is when he would catch himself twisting the smooth metal band around his finger as if the act alone would calm his racing thoughts. Didn't they even care? Is his need to talk it through with his best friend inappropriate?

"Stokes!"

Warrick's voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

Nick shook off the fog and looked toward the irritated voice of his case partner.

"Where the hell did you go, man? I've been talking to you." Warrick towered above him.

Nick shoved the last of the fingerprint lifts into his vest pocket. "I'm working here, man."

"Uh huh..." Warrick shook his head. "...whatever, Bro. Just get a move on. We need to go with the body."

"Super Dave's been here?"

"Yeah, man. If you would have been here instead of inside your own damn head you'd know that." Warrick turned on his heels and walked away. "Come on."

They had been following the coroner's van for ten minutes and Nick couldn't take it any longer. "What's up, man?"

"What're you talking about?" Warrick's eyes stayed on the road, but his face was tense and he was obviously irritated.

Nick turned a little to look at his friend. "I'm talking about you, 'Rick. You've been giving me the cold shoulder since I got back from vacation."

"I've been what?" Nick watched Warrick's fingers tighten around the steering wheel. "How do you figure?"

"You didn't even ask me how it went. You haven't brought it up at all." Nick hated the whine in his tone.

"You haven't brought it up either!" Warrick was just shy of yelling. "I'm your damn best friend and I have to hear about your family shit from Sara!"

"You didn't even...wait...what?" Nick finally caught up. "I haven't talked to Sara about my family shit."

"She picked Greg up from the airport. She told me to give you some space about it until you were ready to talk." Warrick tried to explain. "You didn't mention the fact that you were doing Sanders for _**how**_ many years? I just assumed this was just something else you didn't want to..."

Nick heard the angry undertone and interrupted his friend. "I'm sorry Warrick. I should have told you about me and G. I wasn't dealing with it very well for a long time..."

"I get it, man." Warrick instantly calmed down. "You know you can always talk to me though, right? You're my best friend, Nick."

"Look, 'Rick, Greg and I haven't even had much time to talk since we've been back. Between doubles and opposing days off and..." Nick wasn't sure why he was defending himself anyway, because Warrick had a right to be pissed and Nick knew it. The Tahoe came to a stop behind the coroner's van near the open bay in the rear of the lab. Nick knew they both needed to escort the body and all the evidence still clinging to the rotting corpse, so he didn't have time to say all the things he owed to his friend. "You wanna go grab a beer after work?" Maybe he needed a little time to prepare for the conversation anyway.

"Yeah." Warrick nodded with a sly grin. "We cool?"

"We're cool, man." Nick smiled before they both got back to work.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

By the end of shift he was dead on his feet. The only thing he wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed with his boyfriend and sleep for a year.

"Yo, Stokes. You ready to head out, man?" Warrick said while he opened his locker.

Sleep and boyfriend would have to wait. "Yeah. You want to just meet me at Lydel's?"

"Nah." Warrick yanked off his shirt and sniffed it. "Whew. Long fucking shift."

"I thought you liked Lydel's."

"I do, but that place is crawling with NVPD. Let's go someplace where we can talk without a damn audience." Warrick slammed his locker closed after he put on his spare shirt. "You got beer at your place?"

Well that was just confusing as hell. "Um...Greg...he's probably sleeping...I thought you wanted to talk to _**me**_?" Nick wasn't sure if that came out pissy or whiney or just this side of jealous. "What I mean is..."

"I get you, man. And believe me, I would like some face time with my bud without his man around." Warrick nodded toward the open locker room door. "Greg's here, so your place should be a boyfriend free zone. I would suggest my pad, but Tina's off today, so..."

"Greg's here?" Nick watched Warrick's eyes roll playfully. "What?"

"I just can't believe I never figured it out before that day in the hospital. You act like a old married couple." Warrick teased. "I just saw him in layout room 3."

"He's supposed to be off today." There was no denying the whine in his tone this time. "We were finally going to have a day off together...we haven't seen much of each other since we got back."

"Well, looks like your plans for a little afternoon delight have changed." Warrick dangled his keys from his finger in front of Nick's face. "You ready to head out."

_Damn it. _ Warrick was way off. Nick and Greg have had plenty of _**delight **_over the last few weeks, they just haven't had any time to _**talk**_. They work and fuck and eat and sleep - then they do it all over again. But what they really needed was a few solid hours to just talk. And they had a lot to talk about - what happened in Texas, what matching bands_** really**_ mean - Nick needed reassurances from his lover because he's pretty sure he no longer had a family.

And they haven't had more than three hours in a row together with their eyes open in almost three weeks. And yeah, sex was reassuring and on a few occasions quite comforting - but it didn't help either of them stay awake long enough to start a conversation.

And finally it was here - they had a date - they had both been looking forward to it, too. Dinner at six - at a restaurant - nowhere near the distraction of a bed, couch, kitchen counter...or any other vertical or horizontal flat surface for that matter - they just couldn't seem to resist each other since the morning Nick got home from Texas.

"Hey, Rick..." Nick took his house key from his ring and handed it to his friend. "...let yourself in, I'll meet you there. Help yourself to whatever - I just need to check in with Greg real quick."

He found Greg right where Warrick said he would - leaning over a table full of shredded lilac bush in layout room 3. When Greg heard the door swoosh open he looked up and immediately beamed when he saw who walked in.

"Hey." His voice was thick with longing. "I tried to find you when I got here..."

"You did?" Nick asked insecurely.

Greg nodded and smiled fondly at the man he missed so much despite the fact that they saw each other every day. "Of course. I wanted to let you know I might be a little late for date night."

"So you're not working a double?" Nick asked after he leaned himself onto the table next to Greg.

Greg turned to face his boyfriend. They mirrored each other - leaning on an elbow, chest to chest. "We can only hold the guy for ten more hours before we have to cut him loose. That's why Grissom called me in. So I either get this done quick or I face the wrath of the Bugman."

"Need any help?" Nicked asked while he fiddled with one of the buttons on Greg's lab coat.

"I think I'm almost there." Greg moved fraction of an inch closer. "Thanks for the offer though."

"Did you intend for that to sound so...dirty?" Nick chuckled, a low rumble that caused Greg to shiver.

"Get out of here before I do something we could both get fired for..." Greg leaned in as if he were going to kiss Nick but stopped before impact. "...I'll save that debauchery for date night."

"I think I'll do the debauching tonight." Nick backed up until he was no longer in the cloud of Greg-smell. "_**After**_ we go out for a nice dinner. We have a few things to talk about."

"We do." Greg agreed before he trailed the tips of his fingers across the back of Nick's hand. "But if you're not ready to get into all of that, it's okay."

"I'm ready. I've been ready. It's just been so crazy since we got back." Nick grabbed Greg's hand and squeezed. "I'm not avoiding it - talking about everything, I mean - I have a lot I want to say to you and I want to hear how you're feeling about...everything."

Greg smiled sympathetically. "Okay, Babe. Maybe by tonight you'll be able to say 'family' and 'Texas' without throwing up."

Nick was a bit thrown by that at first. He was still unnerved by how well Greg knew him - _**understood**_ him - that he was often left a little speechless. He couldn't think of a come back that wouldn't sound flippant or snippy - and he was feeling neither at the moment, so he just shifted gears. "Warrick's coming over for a few beers - he's probably there already. Apparently I have a lot to talk through with him too."

"No doubt." Was Greg's answer.

"He'll be gone before you get home." Nick continued, a little curious by Greg's nonchalant response. Nick himself felt remnants of old guilt licking at his insides. There was a day when Warrick stopping by after work would mean Greg needed to find somewhere else to be.

Greg acted like there was nothing about it that would pick at the scabs of old wounds. "It's okay if he's still there. I'll need a nap before our big night out, anyway. I'll stay out of your way."

"Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?" Nick had a feeling Greg _**did**_ know.

"Hold that thought for later." Greg winked. "Have fun with your work-wife."

Nick laughed because Greg was funny and Greg was all his. "Work-wife, G? Don't you mean work-husband?"

"He's too pretty - he's definitely your work-_**wife**_." Greg teased.

Nick started backing away, but kept his eyes on his man. "So does that make Sara your work-_**husband**_?"

"Oh yeah." Greg chuckled as he answered. "Absolutely!"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

When Nick walked through his front door, he found Warrick sprawled on his couch watching..."Ice skating? Dude, that's gayer than me."

"Fuck you man." Warrick scowled half heartedly. "It's the only thing on ESPN this early on a weekday."

"I have the final four on Tivo." Nick talked as he toed off his shoes and headed for the kitchen.

"Seen them already." Warrick responded. "Grab me another while you're in there."

Nick handed off a bottle while he sat next to Warrick. They both sipped and watched as gracefully athletic pairs performed impossible feats on Nick and Greg's large screen. After a few moments Nick cleared his throat. "You ever fucked an ice skater? Or maybe a gymnast? I bet either would be pretty fucking flexible."

Warrick laughed and took a swig of beer before responding. They were both still looking at the TV instead of each other. "Guy or girl?"

That got Nick to look with a cliched double-take. His eyes were wide with shock. "You've done guys?"

"I didn't say that." Warrick tried not to sound defensive. "I was asking you. I've never done a guy. I've never done an ice skater. I did a gymnast in college but she wasn't that good."

"At gymnastics or at sex?" Nick asked with a smirk.

"Both." Warick took another sip. "Your turn."

Nick thought about it for a minute. "Does hockey count?"

"Nah, man. That's like fucking a football player - doesn't speak to the flexibility factor."

After a few second pause, they both started laughing.

"Want another beer?" Warrick asked after the giggles died down. He was already in the open fridge when Nick answered from the other room.

"Yeah. Grab some chips from the cupboard next to the stove, too."

Once they were both settled back onto the couch, Warrick opened up the can of worms. "So how long, Nick?"

Nick adjusted himself so he could look at his friend. "I've been gay for as long as I can remember. I've been in love with Greg since I met him, but we didn't start sleeping together until a few months later."

"Love at first sight?" Warrick teased. "Sounds like something Greg would say."

"Yeah...well...it took me a few years to admit I loved him at all." Nick avoided Warrick's eyes as he finished his thought. "I was a son-of-a-bitch. I treated him like shit."

"So the hooker was..."

Nick interrupted. "We were on a break at the time."

"Greg helped save your ass, if I recall right." Warrick held Nick's feet to the fire, as usual.

"Yeah. He's always been way too good to me." Nick grinned grimly. "He never took the same kind of 'breaks' I did, anyway."

"He loves you." Warrick said it as if it explained the universe.

"Yeah." That one put a genuine smile on Nick's face. He finally made eye contact with his friend again while he continued with his confessions. "The first time he said that to me was on Valentine's Day the first year we were messing around."

"Messing around?" Warrick asked with one raise brow.

Nick nodded. "That's what I called it. There was no way I was admitting that I was dating a guy. Greg left a red rose in my locker. I stormed into the DNA lab with the damn thing crammed into my front pocket. I pulled it out and slammed it onto his work station. It was really just a wad of red and green by that point. I asked him what the hell he was thinking. I said he was lucky no one saw him and demanded to know why the hell he would take such a risk at work. He just looked at me. God. He just looked at me and said it was Valentine's Day and he was just trying to let me know he loved me...something about a red rose symbolizing true love or something. I threw the pieces of that rose right in his face and told him love had nothing to do with what we had going on. I swear to god 'Rick - at that point in my life I had never seen anyone look so fucking shattered."

"Yeah, well, that was really harsh, man." Warrick said with a great amount of compassion.

He could feel his eyes getting hot and wet, but he refused to break eye contact with his best friend. "Yeah, but it didn't stop me from doing that to him again and again and again. I spent years pulling him close only to kick him in the gut. I wouldn't give myself to him but I wouldn't let him go, either."

"Sanders is either a patient man or really stupid."

"Don't insult my boyfriend." Nick teased.

Warrick chuckled. "We both know Sanders is far from stupid, so it wasn't really an insult, Bro."

"After the rose incident, I didn't speak to him for weeks. He ended up knocking on my door in the middle of the day and actually apologized to me for saying he loved me." The shame was spilling over and rolling down his face. "Can you believe that. I could see it in his eyes - he was lying through his teeth - but he did it anyway. Said he was sorry - _'I'm sorry for rushing things.'_ - that's what he said." Nick explained as if he were living it all over again.

"What'd you say?" Warrick prompted him to continue.

"That's the thing. I did what I always did back then, and continued to do, for too many fucking years." Nick's face contorted into a painful grimace. His voice shook as he barely made it through his answer. "I let him take the fall for my shit. I told him to just never let it happen again and I took him to bed. I'm surprised he could even walk the next day."

"TMI, Man."

Nick appreciated the moment of lightness. He made a half-hearted attempt to smile. "Sorry, Bro."

"So what changed?" Warrick asked.

"I did." Nick admitted. "Fast forward through seven years of the same shit, different day and I finally pulled my head out of my ass and realized what the hell I was doing to him. To _**us**_. I finally got it. The man deserved better - he knew it and I knew it - and I finally got my shit together to try to be exactly who he deserves. I have so much to make up for with him. Then I had to go and expose him to...god, 'Rick...it was awful."

"Texas?" Warrick asked.

Nick nodded. "They were horrible. I didn't even recognized them...they...they were beyond mean and Greg never once...he just took it. He did that for _**me**_."

"Sara said he wouldn't tell her what went down. He just said he messed up and had to leave." Warrick explained what he had started earlier in the day. "She told me he asked her not to say anything. So she asked me not to mention anything to you until you brought it up."

"He didn't mess up. I did." Nick wanted to clear that up. "I should have nipped it in the bud within the first five minutes of being there. But as usual I just let Greg take it on. I let him make it easy on me."

"Greg's a good guy, Nick." Warrick stated the obvious.

"Yeah, he is." Nick nodded. "Now it's up to me to be just as good."

Warrick reached to grip Nick by the back of the neck. He squeezed supportively. "Nicky. Bro. You already _**are**_ a good man. Why the hell would Sander's stick with you through all these years if you weren't inherently good?" Warrick forced Nick to look at him again. "Here's some advice from your best friend. You're a good man with some fucking scary demons and you're getting them under control now. Don't waste time trying to make up for old shit. Just start from right here and right now and be the man Greg's always known you to be."

Nick took a deep breath and allowed Warrick's words to settle in. He held up his left hand and wiggled his fingers in front of Warrick's face. "I guess that's why he gave me this."

Warrcik smirked blatantly. "Yeah. Sara told me about that too."

"Fucking hell - is there anything Sara doesn't already know?" Nick feigned irritation, but his grin gave him away.

"He showed them to her before you guys left. Happy anniversary, Man."

"Well hell." Nick huffed. "I guess she _**is**_ his damn work-husband."

"Work-_**husband**_?" Warrick barked.

"Yeah, man." Nick laughed. It felt good to be out from under the heavy conversation. "Don't be jealous though, according to G, you're my work-wife."

"Why am I the damn wife?" Warrick sounded appropriately offended.

Nick laughed and slapped his friend on the back in a friendly way. "You're just too damn pretty. At least Greg thinks so."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Nick felt Greg snuggling up behind him. When he felt familiar hands skim around his chest he leaned into the warmth of his lover. He was barely awake. "Hey, Babe."

Greg nuzzled the back of Nick's neck. "Shhhh - sleep."

"You joining me?" Nick grabbed Greg's hand and wove their fingers together on his chest.

"I'm going to try. I'm still wound up from the case - it was a dramatic ending to say the least."

Nick could feel Greg's energy through his fidgeting. "Would a blow job help?" He couldn't help smirking when he heard the little squeak from the man behind him followed by the sensation of Greg's wide smile against the skin of his neck.

"Thought so." Nick rolled over and pushed Greg onto his back. He was happy to find his boyfriend naked already. He wasted no time, taking Greg's half-hard dick deep into his throat and sucking hard. It wasn't about romance - it was about lulling Greg into an orgasm induced mini-coma.

It took six minutes. Greg could thank him later.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Greg hadn't felt this rested in weeks. He had a solid five hours of sleep followed by a hot shower with his boyfriend and now he was sitting across a table from said boyfriend waiting for a bottle of Spanish red wine that Nick pronounced perfectly.

"Sorry we missed our reservation at Le Cirque." Greg still felt bad for over-sleeping.

"I'm kinda glad." Nick reached across the table with one hand and wove his fingers through Greg's. "We didn't have to fight the traffic on the Strip or the parking at the Bellagio. This is much nicer - smaller - intimate."

"But you went through a lot of trouble..."

"It all worked out, G." Nick interrupted. "No more apologies. You needed to sleep and I needed to suck you off in the shower." Nick grinned wickedly. "We're both at fault."

"How'd you hear about this little place, anyway?" Greg gestured around with his free hand. It was a quaint little tapas place in a strip mall a few miles from their apartment. He never even noticed it before. It didn't look like much on the outside, but once they walked through the door it was like being transported to Spain. Vibrant colors, delicious aromas, and hot little waiters with thick Spanish accents. He was pretty sure their waiter was interested in Nick. Greg didn't mind though because Nick was so obviously into all things Sanders tonight. It was...nice.

"I came here with my parents the last time they were in town." Nick threw out the ice breaker. He watched Greg wince a little at the mention of his folks. "Of course I didn't have the private table in the romance-nook back then."

"It's nice to have a little privacy." Greg admitted and hoped they could avoid mentioning the Stokes again. "Maybe I'll..."

"Ribera del Duero Tempranillo, sir." The waiter, Raul, held a bottle of wine in front of Nick. Once Nick nodded the waiter poured a tiny sip into a Bordeaux wine glass. Nick picked the glass up with the hand that wasn't tangled with Greg's, swirled the dark red liquid around the glass, checked the legs, sniffed the aroma, and finally tasted.

Greg was always turned on when he watched Nick select his wine.

"Perfect, thank you." Nick placed his glass on the table and waited for the waiter to pour a glass for both of them. Greg watch as Raul tried to catch Nick's attention. It was cute the way Nick didn't even notice.

It was_** hot**_ the way Nick only had eyes for Greg.

Once Raul left them alone, Nick held his glass up for a toast. Greg accommodated by raising his own and nearly dropped his glass when he heard what Nick had to say.

"To what we were, what we are, and what we will become. To you, Greg Sanders, and your unlimited capacity for forgiveness and to me and my promise to never repeat the mistakes of the past. To our love and our forever." Nick's eyes were shimmering with emotion and sincerity and so much genuine love.

Greg almost cried as their glasses clinked together.

They sipped and looked at each other over the rim of their glasses. "That was...amazing."

"I love you." Nick placed his glass on the table and took Greg's from his hand before he grabbed that hand too. He was looking intense and gripping both of Greg's hands tightly. "I've _**always**_ loved you."

Greg swallowed hard. "I love you, too."

"I know. You're good at letting me know." Nick smiled. Greg thought he looked a little sad. "I'm sorry I wasn't as good at it for so long." Nick brought Greg's hands to his lips and kissed each finger. "I've loved you since the second we met. I was a foolish coward to try to deny it."

Greg hated how sad his beautiful boyfriend looked. "Nick, it's okay. I know and I get it and we're looking forward, not behind. None of that matters now."

"I want to talk about what happened in Texas." Nick just decided to get it over with. "I want to know what happened before you left."

Greg felt his gut clench. The last thing he wanted to talk about was Texas. He had hoped they were going to just leave it be and move on. It had been over three weeks. They had been getting along so well and having lots of sex. Nick was really embracing his new found appreciation for bottoming and Greg couldn't be happier about it.

Nick said _'I love you'_ every single day - at least once.

Why the hell do they have to dredge up all the shit from before? As far as Greg was concerned Texas and everything that happened there was the dividing line between then and now. He just wanted to stay planted firmly in the now. Because now was pretty fucking awesome.

"Nick..."

"Seared scallops, chorizo stuffed mushrooms, and shrimp ceviche." Raul announced as he placed the first of their tapas on the table. Raul poured more wine for Nick, leaving Greg's glass untouched.

Greg didn't even care because Raul's timing was perfect. He tried to take advantage of the interruption to distract Nick from the current path into the danger zone. "He's into you."

"Who?"

"Raul. The waiter. He totally wants you." Greg did his best to turn the tables. "He's kinda hot, too."

"Is he?" Nick played along. "I didn't notice."

"How could you not notice a hot waiter falling all over you?" Greg chuckled so Nick would know he was teasing.

Nick scooted his chair around the small table until he was sitting close to Greg. He leaned himself into Greg and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "It's hard to notice the hot waiter when you're sitting over here distracting me." Nick purred against Greg's ear before he pulled back just enough to kiss him.

After the sweetest kiss Greg can ever remember Nick pulled back and traced along the shell of Greg's ear with one finger. "I still want to talk about it, G."

_Fuck._ "Nick. I know you're dealing with a lot. I'm really sorry for getting between you and your family - I never intended for it to be like this. They love you though, I know they'll come around eventually and you'll work it out..."

He found himself suddenly silenced with Nick's lips pressed firmly against his. "Hush." Nick said before another kiss. "That's not what I want to talk about."

"I'm a little confused." Greg was trying not to be distracted by Nick's face still being so close. "I thought you wanted to talk about Texas."

"I do." Nick sat back just enough to make it about talking instead of kissing. "Greg. Look..."

Greg could see the struggle written all over Nick's face. He was obviously trying to get it right. Greg thought it was endearing.

Nick took a deep breath and tried to get Greg to understand. "I grew up with a lot of love. I have a huge family and I was the baby, so it was like I was the center of the Stokes' Universe. It was really great and really suffocating. But for all of the negative - I always knew I was loved. There was comfort in that and I was terrified of losing it. My whole life I tried to be what I thought I needed to be to make sure I never lost them."

Greg felt like the biggest asshole in the world. Nick spent a lifetime protecting his family connection and Greg managed to implode it in the matter of two days. "I'm sorry, Nick. I never meant to..."

"Greg." Nick said sternly. "I never want to hear you apologize for...fuck, G. You can apologize for getting pissy when you're too hungry or for leaving your socks on the kitchen table or...whatever...but..." Nick was struggling to put his thoughts together again. "I'm not doing this very well."

"You're doing just fine." And Greg meant it. He could tell that whatever Nick was trying to say was going to make Greg very, very happy regardless of how clumsily he articulated it.

"There is nothing you have to apologize for when it comes to my family. If anything I should be begging for forgiveness. The way they treated you was...it's still so hard to believe that those people are the same people I grew up with. I've been thinking about it since we got home and it still seems so unreal." Nick's words were flowing free now. It almost seemed like a stream of consciousness.

So Greg just grabbed Nick's hand and held on.

Nick relaxed when he felt Greg's gentle reassurances. "I realized that it wasn't as shocking as I wanted to believe, though. I think that's why I feel so fucking guilty about dragging you out there. I mean...think about it, G...my whole life I've been avoiding it. Until you, I never really got close to anyone because I didn't want to have to...I just didn't want them to know that part of me. So I had lots of sex with lots of people but that's all it was. Then you came along and I knew you were trouble."

"Trouble?" Greg tried to make Nick smile.

"The best kind of trouble." Nick chuckled and squeezed Greg's hand. "I have so many regrets when it comes to you - so much I wish I could do differently. I've hurt you and I've taken you for granted and I've pushed you away and held you captive at the same time and I'm so so sorry because I sacrificed you for the sake of a family who I _**knew**_ wouldn't love me if they knew who I really was. I knew - deep in my soul - I knew they would be exactly the way they were and I took you there anyway."

"They love you Nicky." Greg wanted to take the pain from Nick's eyes.

Nick just shook his head and kissed Greg again. "No they don't. People who love me could never...god..." He kissed Greg again, long and deep. "_**You**_ love me. Despite all of my obvious flaws - you _**love**_ me. You _**see**_ me - even when I can't see myself - and you love _**me**_. Your folks love me. Warrick loves me. And Cath and Sara. Grissom...he's like a father to me."

"I think you've got a pretty solid lab rat fan club, too." Greg put his free hand on Nick's thigh.

Nick kissed Greg again. "Good to know."

"Nick, I'm sure they'll come around." Greg hated the thought of his sweet man feeling like he had lost so much.

"You're not hearing me, G." A single tear trickled down Nick's cheek. "They can come around all they want - it's not about that for me anymore. I don't want anyone in my life who could treat you the way they treated you. None of that is your fault. You're perfect, Greg. All they had to do was give you a chance and they would have been able to share in this gift I've been given. I'm so fucking happy and it's because of _**you**_. They'll never see me happy, Greg - and they don't even care."

"Damn it, Nicky." Greg gently wiped away a few tears from Nick's face with his thumb. "I hate seeing you cry. If you're so happy why do you look so sad?"

"Not because I'm grieving the loss, if that's what you think. I've had enough time to do that over the last few weeks." Nick pulled Greg a little closer.

"Then why?" Greg asked, still brushing his thumb against Nick's face.

"I'm not sad. Just grateful that you're here, because I surely don't deserve you." Nick explained. "But I'm going to make it up to you. If it takes me the rest of my life, I promise you - I'm going to make it up to you."

"You already have." Greg meant it, too.

Nick pulled Greg into another kiss and this time he didn't stop with a chaste, sweet lip-to-lip contact. Nick pulled Greg toward him until their chests were pressed together, knees scissored with each other as much as dining room chairs would allow. He grabbed a handful of Greg's hair to angle his head enough to deepen the kiss.

Greg could taste the wine on Nick's tongue.

"Parma stuffed artichokes and jamon with melon." Raul placed the plates on the crowded table with the yet to be touched tapas he had brought earlier. "Should I cancel the rest of your order, sir?"

Nick's lips were red and puffy and he looked like he couldn't quite put his thoughts together, so Greg answered Raul and enjoyed the disappointment in his eyes when he failed to get Nick's attention. "Just slow it down a little. This man's going to need all the calories he can get later."

That got Nick's attention. He laughed and Greg watched the last little bit of sad fade away from his dark chocolate eyes. "So are you, G."

Raul turned away with a hint of attitude.

"I think Raul might hate me for taking his dream date." Greg teased before he kissed Nick again. "Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?"

Nick placed one of Greg's hands on the bulge in his crotch. "This much?"

"Fuck." Greg literally groaned. "How am I supposed to get through dinner now? Let's just go home and fuck."

"We'll do that later." Nick kissed Greg one last time before he scooted a little farther away. "For now we're going to enjoy a nice meal, good wine, and quiet conversation."

"You're distracting me with your hotness." Greg pouted and hoped it would work.

"Maybe planning our anniversary party will help get your mind off of thinking about how many ways I'm going to fuck you when I get you home." Nick said as he casually took a sip of wine.

"Oh that's just mean...wait...what anniversary party?"

Nick grinned. "The party we deserve after eight years together. Not to mention these." Nick held up his left hand and flashed his band proudly. "We need to celebrate with the people we love, The people who love _**us**_. Our chosen family."

Greg could feel himself welling up. "I love that plan."

"I thought you would." Nick gripped Greg's hand again and it took all of Greg's self control not to straddle Nick right there in the restaurant. "I thought we could do it in four weeks when we both have a weekend off. It will give your parents time to book a flight, too."

"Yeah. Okay. That's...perfect." Greg stabbed a scallop with his fork and held it up to Nick's lips. "Eat, Babe. Store up some energy. You're going to get quite a workout when I get your hot ass home."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8 Overdue Celebration

Title: Overdue Celebration (Last Chance Part 8)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~4200

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Three days later, they split up delivery duty. By the end of the night, everyone that mattered to them had been hand delivered a homemade invitation to their belated eighth anniversary party.

Except for Greg's parents. They had called them from the car on the way home from the restaurant.

"What's this?" Catherine looked up from the computer screen and pulled off her glasses. She picked up the envelope that had fluttered onto her keyboard and whipped it around in the air as she looked at Nick.

"Looks like and envelope with your name on it." Nick grinned.

Catherine's eyes twinkled as one side of her mouth quirked into a crooked grin. "I can see that, Nicky."

"So..." Nick stayed neutral. "...maybe you should open it."

Catherine's grin melted into a full blown smile as she turned the envelop over and slipped one finger underneath the glued flap. She pulled out a cream colored card that had been created and printed from a home computer. She read it twice before she looked over the top of the card and smiled wider. "Anniversary party, huh?"

"Eight years and counting." Nick was still amazed by how good it felt to talk about the biggest part of his life so openly. "Bring Linds, too."

"You can count on it, Nicky."

At the same moment, Greg stood nervously in front of Grissom's desk waiting for a reaction to the small, square card his mentor now held in his hands. Once Grissom was done reading, he yanked his glasses off and looked up at Greg with that stoic expression that was always so impossible to read.

Greg swallowed hard and hoped he hadn't crossed some professional line by inviting his boss to his big, gay anniversary celebration.

"I hadn't realized you and Nick had been together for so long, Greg." Grissom sounded like he was reprimanding.

_Oh shit._

After a few seconds of silence, Grissom continued. "That's quite impressive. I'd be honored to take part in celebrating the occasion. Count me in."

They both waited until the end of the day to invite their respective work-spouses.

Nick slipped the envelop between the fiber sample and the microscope that Warrick was looking through. "What the..." Warrick stopped mid-sentence after he snapped his head up and saw Nick.

"Just wanted to give this to you before I leave." Nick grinned.

Warrick shot his friend a mock-glare as he pulled the sealed envelop from the scope. "You finally paying me the fifty you owe me?"

"Whatever, man." Nick chuckled. "It's never gonna happen. I won that bet fair and square."

"Wasn't suicide." Warrick admonished.

"Wasn't murder, either." Nick countered. "Doc signed off on it - undetermined."

"Which means you didn't win." Warrick argued.

Nick nodded. "Neither did you, man."

"So what's this?" Warrick grinned.

"Just open it and be there on time." Nick backed out of the lab. "Bring Tina." He said before turning to head out for the day.

Greg caught up with Sara in the locker room. "Hey."

Sara turned at the sound of his voice and smiled. "Hey Greg."

"You done for the day?" He asked while opening his own locker.

Sara sighed. "Only in my dreams. Brass just called. I'm heading to the station for an interrogation."

Greg slipped the envelope into her locker and placed it on the top shelf. "Open that later, then"

"What is it?" Sara quirked and eye brow before a knowing grin appeared on her face. "Is that a wedding invitation?"

Greg felt a little flutter in his chest when he heard her question. He liked the way it sounded. _Wedding invitation._ Maybe one day it would be. He loved the idea of committing to Nick in front of all of their people. "Not yet." He said. "But when we get to that point, you're my best man."

"You're taking the work-husband thing a little too far, Greg. You _**do**_ realize I'm not a man, right?" She teased.

"Gay wedding, Sar." Greg bumped her with his hip. "I can have a girl for best man if I want."

"You have a point, there." Sara laughed. "So if it's not a wedding, what is it?"

"A celebration." Greg knew he didn't need to say much more than that to the friend who had been his rock through so many rough times. "Will you be there?"

Sara closed her locker before she gripped Greg's arm. "Nothing could stop me."

"Even a juicy case with an imminent arrest?"

Everyone knew Sara was a notorious workaholic.

"Not even that." Sara gave him one last squeeze on his arm before she walked away.

"Sara." Greg felt a sudden urge to tell her exactly what she meant to him. He waited until she turned around to face him. She was standing a couple of steps on the other side of the open door to the locker room. "You know I love you, right?"

Her smile was heartfelt as she answered. "Yeah. I do." She tilted her head a little and simply stated, "I feel the same, Greg."

"I know." He wasn't going to drag this out. He may be the boy in their relationship, but she was the one who struggled to express her emotions and he understood that about his friend.

There was a slight hesitation on her part before she nodded, smiled ever so slightly, and turned to walk away. "I'll see you later."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Greg loved watching Nick dance. The first time he witnessed it was a very pleasant surprise. He would have never suspected that a man who carried himself so stiffly at work could move with such erotic, fluid grace on the dance floor. Greg knew Nick would be a spectacularly talented lover just just by the way he danced.

And he wasn't wrong.

Sometimes Nick still asked him why Greg had stuck it out for so long. Greg always answered the same way - _because I love you._ But as Greg watched his long-time love move his hips to the beat of Taio Cruz, he couldn't deny that fucking Nick Stokes was a little hard to let go of, too. An appreciative _'Mm'_ escaped his throat before he could stop it.

"Last time it was Nick watching you."

Greg was startled by the voice of his father next to him. He was so into watching Nick and Catherine dance he didn't notice the man was now sitting down next to him on the couch. "What?" Greg had no idea what his father was talking about.

"At our anniversary party." His father explained with a twinkle in his eyes. "Nick stood by and watched you dance for hours before you two disappeared for the rest of the night."

"He did?" Greg was surprised to hear that. Nick never said anything and Greg was so busy trying to avoid making eye contact with his angry lover that day that he didn't notice. Greg reluctantly tore his gaze from his hot Texan to look at his father. "I'm really glad you and Mom could come this weekend."

"We're both happy to be invited." Paul looked like he meant it. "When your mom told me it's been eight years I couldn't believe it. It doesn't seem like that long ago that you called up your mother to tell her about the man of your dreams."

"I know." Greg felt pride swelling in his chest. "I knew from the first second I saw him that Nick was it for me, though."

"I remember." Paul's eyes clouded. "What I didn't know is how hard it's been."

Greg gulped. He had never told either of his parents about the struggles between he and Nick. He made up all kinds of excuses for why he never brought his lover home for the holidays and he made up conferences and triple shifts when they had came to visit him. He had gotten very good at hiding the fact that his boyfriend was hiding _**them**_. Greg muttered under his breath. "Sara..."

"She honestly didn't know how little I knew. We were just talking, Son." Paul tried to make sure he wasn't causing a rift between the two friends. "I may be guilty of tricking her a little once she got started." Paul joked.

"Cursed by the Sander's charm." Greg teased, hoping it was the end of the discussion.

"Greg..." Paul paused, hesitating in a way that told Greg he wasn't going to like what was about to be said. "...are you sure about this?"

"About _**what**_, exactly?" Greg asked while trying not to get angry.

"It won't be easy." Paul chose his words carefully. "Nick's people probably won't change their opinion of you anytime soon."

"Opinion?" Greg voice dripped with bitterness. "They hate me because they hate that Nick's gay."

"It won't be easy, son." Paul said again.

Greg sighed. "The irony is that it _**is**_ easy...well...easi_**er**_. Nick was so afraid before, but now that it's over and he doesn't have to worry about all the possibilities, he's more relaxed. He's actually a really great partner now." Greg turned to look at his father. "It makes it all worth it."

"You can talk to us about anything, Greg." Paul's eyes were filled with fatherly love. "The bumps in your road won't change our opinion of Nick. He's a good man - anyone who spends more than five minutes with him can see that much. Don't keep us out of your life, Greg. We aren't the kind to judge. That goes for Nick, too. He's one of us now - nothing's going to change that. Understand?"

"Thanks, Dad." Greg just looked at his father for a few minutes. His heart ached because he wanted Nick to have this kind of moment with his own father...or mother...hell, a second cousin twice removed would be a huge leap forward. "Maybe you could say all of that to Nicky."

"I think your mother's planning on doing that." Paul grinned playfully.

"Oh dear lord..." Greg said through a smile.

A few hours later they were alone in their apartment with a big mess to clean up. The party was perfect - an apartment filled with people who celebrated their love for each other. By the way Nick was humming happily as he cleaned up cups and plates, Greg knew it was exactly what his lover needed.

"You plan on watching me clean up like you watched me dancin' earlier?" Nick bumped his hip into Greg's as he passed him with another armload of party trash.

"I can't help it - you look really hot tonight." Greg stepped to the Ipod dock and scrolled through until he found what he wanted. "Besides, I didn't think it would go over very well to add this song to the party mix."

Nick heard the sultry beat of Nine Inch Nails and couldn't help laughing. He dumped the trash into the big black trash bag on the kitchen floor and walked into the living room just as the lyrics of _Closer_ started blasting out of the speakers.

_You let me violate you._ "Dance with me Nicky." Greg held his hand out.

_You let me desecrate you._ "How can I resist such a romantic song." Nick said sarcastically as he gladly allowed his lover to pull him into his arms.

_You let me penetrate you._ "You obviously never really listened." Greg's voice dripped with seduction.

_You let me complicate you._ "Nine Inch Nails, G? Seriously?"

Nick allowed Greg to set the rhythm, which ended up being an intense, grinding, erotic-as-hell dance. Nick was enjoying himself despite the fact that the band blaring from his stereo was one of Greg's favorites, which usually meant it was on Nick's never-play-in-my-presence-list. When Greg stared singing while grinding harder and staring intently into Nick's eyes, Nick decided he should give some of Greg's stuff a chance more often.

"I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside. I want to fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed." Greg sounded a lot like the lead singer - which was kind of hot.

Nick placed his forehead against Greg's and closed his eyes so he could just feel Greg's body leading them both into the song's rhythm. _You get me closer to God. You can have my isolation; you can have the hate that it brings. You can have my absence of faith; you can have my everything. _"So you think this is romantic, huh?"

Greg continued with his serenading. "Help me tear down my reason. Help me; it's your sex I can smell. Help me; you make me perfect. Help me be somebody else. I want to fuck you like an animal..."

Nick nuzzled into Greg's cheek and chuckled. "Okay, I can see your point of view."

"I thought you might." Greg turned his head enough to place his lips against Nick's - not quite kissing. "I'm thinking this should be our wedding song."

_Wedding? _ Nick's immediate response was paralyzing fear...or something equally disturbing - it was hard to tell. _What wedding. We're not having a wedding. Men can't marry each other. I never agreed to a wedding. Is that what the rings are supposed to mean - were having a wedding? _

Greg was too busy whispering lyrics into Nick's lips to notice the shift in his boyfriend's mood. "I just haven't decided if it will be our wedding march or our first dance at the reception."

Nick decided that sarcasm would put off the discussion for a little while so he had time to think about how to explain to Greg that there was no way they were having a damn wedding. "Wedding march? You plannin' on wearing a white dress, too?"

Greg's mouth stopped nuzzling into Nick's lips before he pulled back enough to look into Nick's eyes. His brows were furrowed and he all but stopped his sexy gyrating against Nick's thigh. "What's that supposed to mean?"

_Uh oh._ Nick knew he had miscalculated. He suddenly felt like he was flying without a net. "It's not supposed to mean anything."

"You don't want to have a wedding?"

Nick tried to keep it out of the danger zone by chuckling and smiling as he spoke. "There's no such thing, Greg. Two men can't get married."

"That's a legal issue, Nicky." Greg wasn't quite pissed...yet. "That has nothing to do with two men having a wedding."

"You're not making sense, Babe." Nick wasn't sure he was making sense either and he just wanted to put this off until he had time to think. "Let's just go to bed and clean this up in the morning."

"Nick." Greg wasn't on the same page evidently. "A wedding is about ceremony. It's about sharing with those who love and support you. It's about making a statement to the world that this is it for us. It has nothing to do with whether or not we can legally marry."

"I thought that's what these were all about." Nick held up his left hand. "Isn't this enough of a statement to the world?"

"No, Nick." Greg pulled away completely. "Wearing matching rings isn't exactly a public declaration of what we mean to each other."

"Why are you being so insistent about this?" Nick was starting to get pissed. "You never even mentioned it before. Why all of a sudden..."

"I guess I assumed it was implied when I gave you a fucking ring, Nick." Greg picked up on Nick's temper and felt himself getting defensive. "Why are you so opposed to it. Why don't you want to stand in front of all the people we love and..."

"Because we wouldn't be standing in front of all of the people we love, Greg." Nick was yelling now and he couldn't stop himself despite how much he hated the words spewing from his mouth - especially considering that there were many times over the last couple of months that Nick himself had thought about marrying Greg. But that's not what was coming up for him at the moment though, and he didn't seem to have any control over it. "Most of the people_** I **_love wouldn't stand in the same county with you, let alone sit in some tacky, secular _'chapel'_ to watch me_ 'marry'_ some dude they can't even stand to have around for more than a day and a half."

"So it's my fault now?" Greg was so immediately deflated by Nick's words that he could barely be heard above the music. "When did you start feeling like this, Nick?"

"I didn't say...it's not your fault..." Nick felt two months worth of repressed rage boiling to the surface. It wasn't about Greg - not really - it was about two months of unanswered emails and voice mails and being completely ignored by every single Stokes in Texas and how much that_** hurt.**_ "It's just...why couldn't you just follow the rules, Greg. _**Four days**_. That's all you had to do. Four fucking days. Now they think I'm sleeping with a fucking predator-in-the-making and you think I can stand up in front of a room that's completely void of my entire family to celebrate something..."

"_**Sleeping**_ with me?" Nick saw the raw emotion in Greg's eyes as his boyfriend's anger melted into pain. It was a look that Nick had seen too many times to count over the years. It was a look that Nick had promised himself he would never again be responsible for creating in the eyes of his lover. "I thought we were doing more than just sleeping together, Nicky."

"Greg...stop making this into something it's not." Nick immediately wanted to suck his words back into his mouth. It wasn't what he wanted to say - not even close. He actually wanted to stop time and rewind a minute so he could avoid this entire situation because everything coming out of his mouth was just...wrong.

"Apparently I've been making something out of nothing for a couple of months now." Greg stormed out of the room, but not before Nick saw his chin quiver and his eyes well up.

"Greg, wait..." The slamming of their bedroom door cut him off.

_You're the reason I stay alive._ Then the song ended.

Silence had never felt so loud.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Nick woke up alone on the couch a few hours later. The apartment was still eerily quiet. He pulled himself from the couch to start some coffee and try to make amends with his boyfriend.

Nick still wasn't completely sure what happened the previous night, but he did know that none of it was Greg's fault.

As usual.

He hadn't even told Greg about all of his attempts to connect with his family. He had been trying since the week after they got back from Texas. What he told Greg that it didn't matter. He told Greg that the only thing that mattered was _**him**_. And he meant it...mostly.

But there was a part of Nick that was fucking terrified. He was raised to be loyal. He was raised to assume family was about unconditional love. And he suddenly found himself buried under the weight of so many conditions. And while he knew that _**Greg**_ had never - ever - given Nick an ultimatum...he still found himself confused every once in a while. Despite the fact that Greg had never even _**hinted**_ at conditions for his love - every once in a while Nick still felt like _**Greg**_ was the one who made him choose.

Even though he knew Greg never did any such thing. Ever.

And he knew Greg never would. Ever.

But something about Greg looking at him - talking about a wedding - talking about sharing such a significant moment with everyone they loved - as if Nick's family didn't even _**count**_ any more...it was just too much.

And yeah - Nick understood that Greg wasn't even aware of his emotional turmoil because Nick had been keeping it from him. And he knew that Greg never meant to imply that Nick's loss was insignificant - it was still impossible to tease it all apart without time to process all the conflicting shit swirling around in his heart.

He just wanted Greg to understand.

And he knew it was a lot to ask.

He rubbed the bleariness from his face with his hands before he sighed and walked into their bedroom to face the consequences of his stupid behavior.

Instead of finding Greg asleep in their bed, he found a note taped to the bathroom mirror.

_**N - Met my parent's for breakfast before they fly back home. I'm helping Sara paint her kitchen today. See you at work later. - G**_

_Fuck. _

Greg was just as confused. After all of Nick's confessions and declarations of love and commitment he just...changed all of a sudden. Or maybe Nick never changed to begin with - maybe Nick was still the selfish prick-of-a-half-assed-boyfriend that he had been for so many years before a van threw Greg into a solid brick wall - he wasn't really sure. All he knew is he couldn't deal with Nick so soon after crying himself to sleep the night before.

He woke up feel deceived and heart broken. He felt as if Nick had been hiding the truth - that Nick blamed Greg for losing everything. He felt foolish for thinking that Nick could possibly be okay - how could he think that eight on-again-off-again years with a mess like Greg Sanders could possibly make up for losing a lifetime of connection with his tight-knit Texan clan.

Greg had a lot to think about. Maybe he had been wrong to hang onto Nick. Maybe the right thing to do - the most _**loving**_ this to do - was to just let Nick go. Maybe _**he's**_ been the selfish prick-of-a-half-assed-boyfriend in all of this and Nick had suffered so much pain as a result.

Or maybe Nick was just a huge dickhead and always had been and nothing would ever change it.

Greg hated himself for even thinking it, but he was hurt and angry and couldn't help it.

So he did the only thing that made sense, which was _**not **_dealing with Nick until he sorted out his own feelings. And he was pretty sure that would take a while.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The silent ride to the crime scene was excruciating. By the time Nick pulled up behind a police cruiser in front of the scene, he was over it. "Are you planning on ignoring me all night, Greg?"

"Are you planning on apologizing for acting like an ass?" Greg glared across the cab of the Denali.

"Damn it, G." Nick just wanted to be done with the stupid fight. "You know I'm dealing with..."

Greg didn't let him finish. "So no apology? Fine. Then I'm definitely ignoring you."

Nick watched Greg stomp toward the crime scene with a scowl on his face. "It's gonna be a long fucking night." He muttered to himself before following behind.

Brass met them at the open front door of the modest cookie-cutter house that looked like it was right out of Home and Gardens. "Scene's a bloody mess, guys. After we cleared the place I ordered my men to stay out here until you were done processing. Hopefully we didn't mess up much."

"Thanks." Nick looked at Greg, who was looking around the porch for any sign of forced entry.

"What are we dealing with in there?" Greg asked Brass before Nick had a chance.

"Two DBs...I think..honestly it looks like a bunch of parts, but I think I saw two heads...so..."

"No sign of forced entry." Greg interrupted before he walked into the house. "What do we know about the home owner?"

To Nick, it felt like Greg was trying to leave him out, which really pissed him off because they agreed years ago not to take their personal shit into work. "I'll take the perimeter, Greg."

To Greg, it felt like Nick was sticking him with a huge mess of the scene on purpose - like punishment - which really pissed _**him**_ off for all the same reasons. "Whatever, man. Do what you want."

"That's what I'm doing." Nick snipped before walking away.

As Nick disappeared around the corner of the house, Brass looked at Greg and smirked. "Trouble in Paradise?"

Greg just glared before pushing past him. "Shut up."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9 Coming Full Circle

Title: Coming Full Circle (Last Chance Part 9)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~5000

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Where is he?" Greg nearly screamed as he barged through the doors of the emergency room. He had been afraid before - it's not like this was the first time Nick had been hurt on the job - but this time felt a billion times worse.

And it felt like it was all his fault because he broke a promise he had made to himself a long time ago.

Never start a shift angry with Nick.

And now he was fucking terrified that he would never see him again and the last thing he had said to Nick wasn't even close to loving. "Where the fuck is he?" He was beyond screaming now.

"Calm down, Greg." Catherine tried to get him to focus, but the only thing that would calm Greg down was seeing Nick. "You need to get checked out yourself."

"Where - Is - NICK!" He was covered in dirt and scrapes and cuts and bruises. His eyes were wide with the kind of crazy usually reserved for mamma bears or psycho-killers and he was literally panting.

Catherine wasn't going to argue with the man. "Follow me. He's okay Greg. He's right through there in the emergency room. Come on."

Greg didn't need a fucking tour guide. He'd been in this place more times than most and he knew exactly where to go. He pushed past Catherine and barged through the wide double doors clearly marked '_staff only'_ - no one stopped him. Not even the staff.

"NICK!" He didn't care who he disturbed. He had tunnel vision for Nick. He needed to see Nick. "NICKY!"

"Greg!" Nick's voice rang out from behind one of the curtained treatment bays. "I'm in three, G."

Greg lunged for bay three and gushed Nick's name as the curtain swooshed open. "Ohmygod."

"Greg." Nick's voice shook and he immediately started sobbing. He held his arms out and Greg threw himself onto the gurney and right into them. "Oh god, Greg. I didn't know if..no one would tell me what happened to you."

"I'm okay, Baby." Greg soothed and held onto his lover with ferocity. "Hardly a scratch. They just had a hard time digging me out, that's all."

"I was so scared. No one would tell me anything." Nick couldn't stop shaking. He slipped his hands underneath Greg's tattered shirt so he could feel warm skin and old scars. "I was so fucking scared."

"I know. Me too." Greg held Nick in a too-tight embrace but he couldn't make himself stop. "All I knew is that after the smoke cleared I couldn't see you and then Brass said they took you to the hospital but he didn't know the extent of your injuries."

"Fuck." Nick buried his face into Greg's neck. "We gotta stop doing this shit, man."

"Are you okay?" Greg's hands searched whatever part of Nick's body he could reach without moving away from him.

"Yeah. Nothing's broken. Got a bump on the head. That's it." Nick tried to be as reassuring as his shaky voice would allow. "I'm fine. Just got really fucking scared. I'm okay now that you're here. Don't you dare move from this spot." Nick demanded while he tightened his arms around Greg. "I never want to let you go."

"Oh god, Nicky." Greg finally let himself cry too. "That was too damn close."

Nick couldn't help mixing a bit of bitter laughter with his tears. "Again."

It had all happened so _**fast**_.

They were just finishing up the last of the processing when everything went to hell. There was a flash of light and a boom that sounded like thunder and then Greg was buried in a pocket of rubble and Nick was unconscious on the outside of a giant pile of what used to be a two-story house.

Nick woke up in the ambulance and began screaming for Greg immediately.

Greg found himself buried beneath tons of debris. He had been processing the downstairs bathroom when all hell broke loose and the plumbing and reinforced framework of the small room created a protective pocket of space. He tried to see through tiny crevices in the wreckage, looking for Nick. "NICKY!"

The voice that responded wasn't Nick. "Greg?"

_Where the fuck is Nicky? _"Brass?" 

Brass sounded relieved. "Yeah, Greg. Are you okay?"

"Where's Nick?"

"Greg!" Brass tried to focus him. "Are you injured. I need to know what we're dealing with in there."

"I don't think...I'm okay...where's Nick?" Greg was starting to panic.

He could hear Brass barking orders to someone before he directed his voice toward Greg again. "It's going to take some time to get to you. Where was the last place you were standing? We're getting copies of the floor plan so we can pinpoint your location."

"Is Nicky okay?" Greg just needed to know. "Jim!"

"I need an answer Greg. Come on, Buddy. Focus." Brass sounded like he was negotiating with a perp. "Where were you right before the explosion?"

"EXPLOSION?" _What. The. Fuck._ "Where's Nick?"

"Answer me and I'll answer you, Greg." Brass _**was**_ negotiating after all.

"Downstairs bathroom." Greg could feel his heart beating out of his chest. "Where's Nick."

"They just took him to the hospital."

_Ohgodohgodohgodohgod..._

"He's okay, Greg. He's alive and he'll be okay." Brass tried to sound reassuring.

Greg knew him well enough to detect the uncertainty in his voice. Greg started pulling at the debris around him, looking for a way out. His desperate struggle created a shifting of the toppled structure which resulted in his little pocket of safety shrinking a good bit.

"Greg! Damn it, Greg - stop fucking MOVING or the whole house is coming down on your head!" Brass tried to get Greg's attention. "If you want to see Nick, you need to keep your ass alive!"

That worked. "Get me out of here, Jim!"

"We're working on it, Greg. Just stay calm and let us work our way toward you." Brass instructed.

_FUCK! _

Nick was having his own major freak out in the ambulance. "Where's Greg?" He asked the familiar looking paramedic over and over again.

"Calm down, Stokes." She held her hand on his chest to keep him from moving around too much.

"Calm down?" Nick screamed. "Answer me. Where's Greg Sanders?"

"I can't answer you." She tried to soothe the man struggling to get off of the gurney. She was worried that he would jump out of the moving ambulance if she didn't get him under control. "I don't know. But there's been no report of other casualties, so he's probably fine."

"He was in there. He was inside of that house when it...what the hell happened?" Nick was sure he was losing his mind from fear. _This can not be happening again. Not again._

"Explosion. Unknown origin." She knew she needed to answer his questions to keep him from fighting her even more.

"EXPLOSION?" He screamed and pulled himself up from the gurney.

"EXPLOSION? He was in there! Greg was in the house? Oh my god - I need to get back there."

Nick had gotten past the smaller woman easily and was about to open the back double-doors of the ambulance when the vehicle came to a sudden stop. The doors swung open and he was immediately surrounded by doctors and nurses and a couple of very large cops. They wrestled him onto another gurney and the last thing he heard other than the sound of his own screaming was, "Get him sedated STAT!"

It took hours to dig Greg out. Brass quickly looked him over and decided everything look superficial enough to give in to Greg's most immediate need - to see Nick Stokes. He pushed aside the paramedic who was determined to get Greg on a stretcher and pulled Greg toward his cruiser. "Get in before they figure out that I'm kidnapping you."

Brass drove Greg with all the noise and lights and ignored the squawk box ordering them to return to the scene. Not only were Greg's injuries undetermined, but he was also covered in evidence. Brass didn't give a fuck - he just wanted to get his two friends in the same room so they could calm down enough to think clearly.

And when he peeked around the curtain of bay 3, he knew he had made the right call. Nick and Greg were clinging to each other, their words muffled into each other's necks as they cried together. He couldn't understand what they were saying, but he knew it was a hell of a lot more important than any trace evidence that may be attached to what was left of Greg's clothes. He sighed with relief before backing away from the curtain to give the men some space.

"Just given 'em a minute." He said to Catherine as he exited the emergency room.

She gave them ten.

When she reached the curtain she tried to listen to what was going on behind it but she couldn't hear anything. She hated the thought of bothering them, but it had to be done. She cleared her throat to announce herself before she peered around the curtain. "Hey guys."

They were holding each other. Neither man acknowledged her presence.

"Greg. I need to collect your clothes." She handed Greg a hospital gown. "And you need to let the doctor check you out."

"I'm fine." Greg said without budging.

"Greg." Nick soothed his lover. "Honey, let's make sure. You're pumping pure adrenaline right now and might not feel it. Please, G. For me."

"Only if they do it in here." Greg still wasn't letting go. "I'm not leaving your side."

"Leave the evidence bag, Cath." Nick said in his most reassuring southern twang. "I'll get his clothes bagged up for you."

"Sure, Nicky." Catherine had never heard Nick sound so...nurturing. "Do either one of you remember anything before the house exploded?"

They both answered at the same time. "No."

"Okay. We'll talk more tomorrow - maybe something will come up after the shock wears off." Catherine looked at Greg pointedly with that mothering glare. "I'll send the doctor in here."

"Thanks, Cath." Nick was already helping Greg with his shirt.

Catherine backed out and made sure the curtain was closed to give the two men their privacy.

Once Nick had Greg's shirt in the large paper bag, he maneuvered off of the gurney to help Greg with his pants and shoes. It was tricky to get around Greg because he wasn't letting go. "I'm not going anywhere, G."

Greg reluctantly let Nick go, but kept at least one hand on him the entire time.

Once he had Greg's clothes bagged, he helped him into the hospital gown and climbed back on the gurney before tying it loosely in the back for him. He scooted over to make room for Greg to recline next to him, but Greg chose to sit next to Nick instead so he could scan every inch of Nick's body with his hands.

"I promise. I'm okay, Greggo. I'll just have a whoppin' headache in the morning." Nick soothed his frightened boyfriend. He wasn't sure where his strength was coming from because he was scared out of his mind, too. He grabbed Greg's hands and brought them to his lips. They smelled like smoke and wood and metal. Which reminded Nick of _**why**_ he was scared out of his mind. "God, G. I almost lost you."

"Neither one of us should be sitting here right now." Greg's voice was shaking. "We really gotta stop...god, Nicky"

Nick felt Greg trembling. "We're okay."

"I can't keep doing this, Nick." Greg's hands were still gripping tightly to Nicks. Tears were beginning to pool around the bottom lashes of his eyes. Each tear that escaped the web of tiny hairs created a wet trail on Greg's gritty face. "It's too...it's just..."

The privacy curtain whooshed along its track in the ceiling as the doctor interrupted their moment. "Mr. Sanders?"

"This is Greg Sanders." Nick spoke for his lover. He was relieved for the interruption in what felt like Greg's '_we need to talk'_ moment.

The doctor looked from one man to the other. Nick was relieved to see understanding in his eyes. "I'm Doctor Heage, but you can just call me Matt." He placed a hand on Greg's shoulder and made no indication that he expected Greg to move from the gurney he was currently sharing with another man. "Let's get a good look at you, shall we?"

"I'm fine." Greg shrugged off Matt's hand. "We just need to go home." He said as he looked into Nick's eyes.

"G, just let the doctor look you over real quick." Nick brushed fingers through Greg's dusty hair. "Then we'll go home."

"Mr. Stokes has already been released." Matt seemed to know what would work on the emotional man. "So he's just waiting for you. As soon as I'm satisfied that you have no serious injuries I'll sign off on you, too. Then you guys can get home."

"I'm staying right here." Greg turned just enough to dangle his feet off of the side of the bed, leaning his back against Nick's hip. "You'll have to do your looking-over from here."

"I can work with that." Matt placed his hand back on Greg's shoulder. "Would it be okay if we took the gown off for a minute?"

Nick reached to untie the back of Greg's gown. Greg let him. Once Greg had pulled the flimsy cotton off of his arms, he let it drape across his lap in a show of modesty.

Nick noticed the shocked expression as it flit across the doctor's eyes when he saw the extensive scarring that covered Greg's body. Over the years Greg had experienced unfathomable horror over and over again. He wore the memories on his skin from head to toe and for anyone - even a medical professional - who wasn't used to seeing Greg's body, it was quite startling. The doctor quickly reigned it in and addressed Greg with a calm, reassuring voice. "Are you in any pain?"

"Um..." Greg closed his eyes and thought about the question as if he hadn't yet allowed himself to feel his own physical condition. "...I've got a little pain on my left shoulder and back and my right foot is kind of throbbing a little...but other than that..."

"On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the worst, how bad is the pain?" Matt asked as he moved his hands gently along Greg's arms, wriggling wrists and fingers before moving on to Greg's legs, ankles, and feel.

"Um...I guess...maybe a four...five?" Greg leaned into Nick when the doctor lifted his right leg to rotate his ankle.

"So far so good, Greg." The doctor gently lowered Greg's leg. "Can you scoot a little closer to the edge so I can take a quick look at your back?"

Matt made the tactile exam as quick as possible. Greg kept his eyes closed as gloved hands roamed his flesh. Nick watched the doctor closely as he listened to his lover's heart and lungs. He could see the sympathy in Dr. Matt's eyes as he realized the extent of Greg's previous injuries. "You've got yourself some fairly deep bruises, but nothing appears broken. None of these scrapes and cuts are deep enough to require stitches, but one or two are going to leave a mark."

Greg made a sound that Nick knew well. It was a mix between a grunt and a sigh and it was all about bitter sarcasm.

"Not like it matters. What's one more mark? I crossed the line of hideous years ago." Greg said while covering himself with the gown.

Nick let it slide. For now. "Thanks doctor."

Matt nodded. "You're both going to be sore and swollen here and there for a few days. Rest. No work for a week. Tomorrow you're both going to be feeling it. I'll send you home with something for pain in case you need it."

"I think we can handle that." Nick rubbed Greg's bare back through the opening in the back of Greg's now-untied gown.

Greg nodded. "Yep. Can we go now?"

Dr. Matt chuckled. "I'll have the nurse bring you guys some scrubs - I'm sure you don't want to wear your matching dresses home."

After the doctor left the two men in privacy, Nick smoothed his palm over the bumpy terrane of Greg's bare back. Hearing Greg refer to himself as hideous felt like a punch in Nick's gut. "Greg..."

Greg cut him off. "Let's go home."

"As soon as we get those scrubs, G." Nick soothed. "Baby." _How can he not know how beautiful he is?_ "Greg...what you said...about your scars...you know that I don't feel..."

Greg spun around and met Nicks eyes with intensity. "I know you love me, Nicky. You love me despite how...I've ended up." Greg pulled Nick into a kiss by the front of his gown. "I just want to go home now. Okay?"

The ride home was quiet. Warrick drove. Sara tagged along. They filled in a few of the details - like the fact that the explosion was deliberate and was assumed to be unrelated to the living people - specifically cops and CSI - in or near the house at the time. Preliminary findings from the scene indicated that the bomber had a faulty timer and apparently his or her mission was to cover up the gruesome murder of the homeowners.

Nick and Greg sat in the back seat of the state issued SUV holding hands and leaning against each other...neither of them was paying much attention to the unfolding story of what happened to them earlier in the night. Greg's eyes were closed and every once in a while Nick would look at him. There was so much he needed to say to Greg and he didn't even know where to start.

The events of the night scared Nick more then he had ever been scared before - which was saying a lot because Nick's been pretty fucking scared in the years he'd been a CSI.

They both got lucky. More lucky than they've ever been lucky before. There is no doubt in Nick's mind that they should both be dead and the fact that they walked out of an emergency room relatively unharmed was beyond miraculous.

Nick leaned his aching head onto Greg's. _A fucking miracle._

Nick decided right then and there in the back of a Denali that smelled like the lab mixed with the kind of sweat the comes from fear, that if he didn't stop messing up with Greg he was going to get them killed. Surely every close call since the first time he had had a loaded gun pointed at his face was a kick in the ass from God. If he kept giving God more reasons to remind him to appreciate his life with Greg - eventually he would run out of chances. How patient could God possibly be, anyway?

And after Greg's comment about his own self-image, Nick also realized he may have a lot more to apologize for than just the latest bout of misdirected anger and his complete lack of communication.

He had also been completely disregarding his boyfriend's need for reassurances - for years apparently. They were guys in every sense of the word - both of them - so Greg was never one who needed a lot of romance or sweet talk. But Nick hadn't really paid much attention to the fact that Greg may actually need to hear a few kind words - maybe a compliment now and then...or just know that Nick thought he was still as hot as ever. No - that's not quite right. Greg was _**gorgeous**_ and every single blemish or scar that marked his survival made him _**more**_ so.

When they had first started having sex with each other, Nick was fairly expressive in bed. One of Nick's little quirks was the way a man's back looked while he was being fucked from behind. Some guys are ass people, some are hands people...for Nick it was watching the strong, masculine lines of spine and ribs and narrow hips writhing beneath him. So. Sexy. And Greg had an exceptionally sexy shape - especially his back. Nick would chatter away while he fucked Greg hard and deep as his hands roamed every inch of Greg from ass to neck. _You're so hot - fuck, Greg, your perfect - love the way your back looks when I fuck you._

Then the lab exploded.

And after Nick had _**finally**_ come around again - he was shocked by what remained of Greg's beautiful back. He didn't know what to say and feared he would make Greg feel worse by saying _**anything**_, so he just pretended like nothing was different and didn't mention Greg's back at all.

Eventually he got comfortable touching the mangled mess that used to be perfect skin, but any mention of Greg's back remained absent in Nick's sex talk. Nick just didn't want to draw attention to it because he didn't want Greg to think about it because he thought that Greg would just feel bad. So no more ramblings about Greg's sexy back while fucking his lover. Not one word. Nothing. _**Not**_ because he no longer felt turned on beyond belief by Greg's body - because the roadmap of scars were actually really..._**beautiful **_- but because he didn't want Greg to think he pitied him or thought less of him. He didn't want to draw attention to something that was so obviously painful to his boyfriend.

_What a stupid plan._

Nick rolled his head so he could kiss Greg's temple. "You okay?" He whispered.

"Tired." Greg said with his eyes still closed. "Grimy."

"Yeah. Me too." Nick nuzzled. "We'll take a quick shower and go right to bed."

Greg sighed and nodded.

He couldn't even remember the walk from the car to the shower, but there he was being gently shampooed by Nick.

Beautiful Nicky.

Beautiful, living, breathing Nick Stokes.

Nick Stokes who was rinsing shampoo from his hair while humming some random country tune quietly to himself.

_God._

Greg leaned into Nick's warm, slick body, wrapped his arms around strong shoulders and sobbed into Nick's neck. Nick stopped humming and wrapped himself around Greg's body with gentle strength. "It's okay, G. We're okay."

"Why?" Greg asked between jagged sobs. "We both should be..."

"Don't say it." Nick felt his control over his own tears breaking. "Wrong place, wrong time. Let's just leave it at that."

"How many more times can we cheat death, Nick?" Greg still clung to Nick. "I can't do this again. I can't keep losing you."

"You've _**never**_ lost me, Babe." Nick pulled them apart enough to look into Greg's eyes. He gently slicked back Greg's hair. "I'm right here."

"No. I mean yeah...yes. You are. I am. I just..." Greg said the words he had _**almost**_ said a million times over the last eight years. "I'm always the last to know. Every fucking time. I hear that you've had a gun pointed at you or you flew through a fucking window. I watched you...for fucking hours...green glow and silence...and I couldn't get to you. I couldn't reach you, Nick. And I've _**always**_ had to watch and wait for someone else to fucking tell me that you made it - that you're okay. And I shouldn't have to wait - I should have _**never**_ had to wait. I'm...I thought you were _**gone**_. Every single time and it fucking killed me...every...single...God, Nicky." Greg's sobbing was making it hard to speak but he had to get it all out of his soul. He had to tell Nick because if he didn't he was sure he would just shut himself down and never be able to pull himself out of it. "I thought I lost you. No one could tell me and I couldn't get out of that fucking house. I couldn't get to you. _**Again.**_ And no one would tell me anything and I thought you...I really thought that this time you..."

"Jesus, Greg. I'm sorry. Baby - I didn't know. I'm sorry." Nick felt himself falling apart now too. "No one would tell me anything either. They said there was an explosion but wouldn't tell me if you were okay. I didn't know if there was a fire or...god, Greg. I was terrified that there was a fire and you were trapped and scared and...I...I'm sorry you've had to feel like that so many times before. I didn't know..."

"I kept thinking that you were gone and the last thing I said to you was that you were an ass." Greg kissed Nick softly. "You're not an ass, Nick."

"No. You were right. I was acting like an ass. I was upset and I didn't tell you about how I was feeling until I blew up in your face from the pressure." Nick pulled them closer together. "I love the idea of a wedding. It just hurts knowing that..."

"I know." Greg had finally stopped crying and was now comforting Nick. "I was insensitive not to think about that before I started going on and on..."

Nick hushed Greg with another kiss. "You shouldn't have to police yourself. I love you and I love your enthusiasm for public declarations of your love for me."

"No more going to work mad..."

"Greg. I'm so sorry..." Nick's eyes welled with raw emotion.

"Shut up, Nicky."

"I'm serious, I'm sorry..."

"Nicky. You're going through some shit with your folks. You're going to struggle through it and sometimes we're going to get pissed at each other and that's okay. I'm going to try to be more understanding and you're going to try to communicate your feelings better and we'll fuck up and it doesn't matter because I love you and you love me and we're going to be fighting through life together no matter how many times you're a dick or I'm an asshole or whatever the fuck...because I swear Nick Stokes if we have one more close call I'm going to personally kick your ass..."

Nick swallowed Greg's ranting in a kiss which left his boyfriend melting into his lips. "Let's go to bed. We'll talk more later."

Greg readily agreed to that plan. He was so tired. "I'm holding you to it."

"I'm counting on it."

A few minutes later they were tangled together. Nick buried his face into Greg's chest and softly kissed one of his small, star shaped scars while he let the day's events catch up with him. He felt heavy and tired and so needy to feel every bit of Greg he could reach.

"Just because they gave up on you doesn't mean you have to give up on them." Greg's almost whispered into Nick's wet hair. Nick adjusted himself so he could look at Greg's face. He saw nothing but genuine affection in his lover's eyes. Nick was once again reminded of how incredibly lucky - and somewhat undeserving - he was to have Greg's love.

Nick's fingers stroked Greg's stubbled jaw on the side of his face that had been forever altered by a few well placed boots slamming into his skull and cheek years ago. It was subtle and most people probably didn't even notice - but there was a shadow there, a slight shifting of the boney structure that distracts a bit from Greg's boyish features and Nick thought it also made Greg _**so**_ handsome. This was just _**one**_ of the _**many**_ things that Nick needed to tell him. But that could wait for a little while longer because more than anything he wanted to just drift away listening to Greg breathe. "Would it be an insult to your masculinity if I told you that you're beautiful?" That would have to be enough for now.

"A little. But I can live with it." Greg smiled - really smiled...

...and Nick felt a million pounds lighter.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10 Public Declarations

Title: Public Declarations (Last Chance Part 10)

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~2200

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

He slipped his key into the deadbolt and suddenly felt exhausted. He had just left the lab after a double-shift. The fact that it was also his first shift back since an entire house came crashing down all around him only compounded the usual extreme fatigue that sixteen hours on his feet usually instilled. Of course spending every minute of those sixteen hours pretending like he_** wasn't**_ tired didn't help. It took a lot of energy to put on a show like that. But now that he was home and one turn of the key away from being inside, he allowed himself to feel the weariness in his bones.

The air inside was cool and smelled like fabric softener. He toed off his shoes and tossed his keys into the giant bowl near the door before he looked around to see what else his lover had been up to during the night - and most of the morning and afternoon. Vacuumed floors and shiny table tops filled in the details of how his other half had spent his extra day off. _Aw. He missed me too._

They were both disappointed when Grissom had called with their schedules for their first week back. They had assumed they would start back on the same day and at least have occasional opportunities to see each other during the night. After a week of constant companionship, they weren't really ready for hours of separation yet.

It was probably the best week they had ever spent together in the eight-plus years they had been involved. They had both been too sore and achey to move much the day after the explosion. So they just stayed in bed and talked.

_**Really**_ talked.

And the next day when they both felt a little better - they talked some more between bouts of slow, sensual sex. Emotional sex. Happy, appreciative sex. And the day after that they did more of the same but watched a couple of movies too. By day four of their week off, they were feeling so much better that they took turns fucking each other fast and hard and just rough enough to feel good. Then they talked a little more while they held each other - sweaty and sticky.

At the end of the sixth day, they both agreed that they understood each other more than ever. And while nothing had been resolved between Nick and his family, and Greg was still way more enthused about a ceremonial public display of love than Nick was - they were _**talking**_ about it. They had even agreed on a date - July fourth of course. They agreed to stay flexible regarding the _**year**_ before promptly celebrating the compromise with an exchange of mind numbing rimming.

And sixteen hours apart _**sucked**_ after a week like that.

"Nick?" Greg made his way through a very clean and tidy home in search of the man he had been thinking about all day - night - day - whatever. He heard him before he saw him. His little piece of Texas was leaving _**another**_ message for his mother.

When Nick heard the voice of his lover he immediately felt the tension ease from his shoulders. He had been looking forward to Greg getting home since the minute he left for his shift sixteen hours earlier. He continued his one-sided conversation with his mother's voicemail and held up a finger to let Greg know he would be off the phone in a minute. He wasn't even sure why he continued to do this voicemail relationship, but something about it felt like a tiny thread that connected him to his family. So he just kept calling and his mother just kept not answering.

That was one of the things Nick had been keeping from Greg before the most recent scare. He had been calling his mother almost every day since they got back from the disastrous weekend in July. She never returned his calls. Not once.

It was killing Nick inside but he didn't want Greg to feel bad so he just didn't tell him. It was so much better now that Greg knew. He had a soft place to land and Nick needed that more than he had realized. After a few days of talking through everything he had been feeling, Greg helped Nick understand that what he had been feeling more than anything else was that he had been abandoned. Orphaned by telling his family the truth - _**his**_ truth.

One of Nick's biggest and worst fears had come true.

And while he never blamed Greg - not even a little - he couldn't help but wonder if coming out was really worth it. He couldn't stop the nagging little voice that asked over and over - is one man worth losing an entire family? Family was unconditional love - always there when things went wrong - the place to go when things fell apart - the people who would always make a place for you in your worst moments. But he gave all of that up and it felt like Greg had become his whole universe now and what if things with _**Greg**_ went wrong? How could Greg be his unconditional love if Greg was the problem to begin with? It felt like Nick had no safety net anymore.

And it all came out in the worst possible way during a hot, sexy, dirty dance after their anniversary party. It wasn't about Nick not wanting the same thing Greg wanted - the ceremony of joining with his lover in front of everyone who mattered - because Nick _**did**_ want that. He had always wanted that. So. Much. He just never imagined he would want it with a man.

Because so many of the people who mattered to Nick would _**never**_ celebrate such a thing.

And Nick _**always**_ knew that. When he started getting serious about Greg, he just resigned himself to the fact that as long as he was with Greg - or any man for that matter - his dream of marriage and family was over. He fought against it for a while. He tried to convince them both that they were just fucking. Then he allowed himself to admit that they were, in fact, dating - he even confessed his love a few times. But as long as no one knew, Nick still had options. He could always end things with Greg and try to settle down with a nice girl who would make pretty babies. The fact that he had never been able to connect with any of the women he had dated in the same way that he had connected with Greg wasn't something Nick was willing to think about.

And watching Greg almost die against the filthy brick wall of the lab was all it took for Nick to finally get it. And while he didn't regret _**anything**_ since the minute he made promises to Greg in that hospital room a year earlier, he couldn't stop himself from wondering every now and then if being with Greg was worth it. And every single time that thought crossed his mind, Nick felt sick and hated himself.

And explaining all of it to Greg was hard. It took many conversations with lots of reassurances from his lover along the way - but he got it all out and even though he had been sure he had learned all of his lessons, he realized that he still had a few more to go.

Like the fact that Greg _**was**_ unconditional love _**defined**_.

He felt the hands of his lover rubbing his close-shaved skull before a well placed kiss pressed into the top of his head. He watched Greg disappear into their bedroom and realized he had just been given the sweetest kind of subtle, quiet drive-by-support and his heartache eased a little. Now it was always Greg who pulled him out of the heartache that he always felt when he spoke to his mother's voicemail.

Greg heard some of what Nick was saying into his cell phone and knew immediately that he was leaving another message for his mother. _"...just wanted to say hello and that I miss you. Please call me soon..."_ Nick left a few of them every week. And they were heartbreaking to hear. He petted the soft fuzz on Nick's head before he kissed him right on top and sequestered himself to their bedroom to give his sad looking lover some space.

He was rinsing shampoo from his hair when he heard Nick's voice again. When he opened his eyes and cleared the blur from the water, he saw his boyfriend's face peering around the shower curtain. "Hey."

"Hey." Greg leaned toward him and gave him a soppy kiss. "You okay?"

Nick nodded. "Better now that you're home." Nick said as he stole another kiss from his drippy love. "Long day?"

"You have no idea!" He wasn't convinced that Nick was okay, but he decided to give him a little time before he pushed him for more. "But I see you've managed to keep yourself busy. The place looks great. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." Nick took one last kiss before he backed away a little. "I'm fixing you a nice meal and then I'm tucking you in bed for a few hours of much needed sleep. _**Then**_ you can thank me."

"Why does it feel like you just asked me for a blow job?" Greg backed himself up until he was once again under the spray of the water.

"Can you think of a better way to say thank you?" Nick grinned. "Fuck, G, you look so damned hot soaking wet."

_Not as hot as hearing you say that._ "If there're eggs involved in that meal, you've earned yourself way more than a blow job, Tex." Greg closed his eyes and tipped his head back until water flowed down his face. "Now get out of here before I drag you inside this shower with all your clothes on."

Greg was still ruffling his fingers through his wet hair when he walked into the kitchen ten minutes later sniffing the air. "Bacon? We have bacon?"

"We do now." Nick said as he turned from the pan of sizzling pork he was working on. His words caught in his throat at the sight of his boyfriend. He was wearing nothing except a pair of Nick's A&M sweat pants and he looked beautiful. Nick swallowed hard before he could finish his thought and marveled at the fact that Greg could still do that to him. "Went to the store this morning."

"Seriously?" Greg's eyes lit up as he opened the refrigerator to see what treasures had appeared while he was at work. "Pudding!"

"Butterscotch." Nick confirmed as he handed Greg a cup of coffee. "Why don't you grab one and head into the living room. The Chopped marathon is all cued up for ya."

"There was a Chopped marathon? Cool!" Greg grabbed a brightly colored pudding cup, his perfectly prepared cup of coffee, and kissed Nick's nose before he turned toward the living room.

"I'll bring breakfast, or is it lunch...maybe dinner?" Nick pondered. "Whatever...I'll bring food out there in a few."

Greg was asleep by the middle of the second recorded episode. He ate during most of the first one, moaning and saying thank you between bites. Once he had taken his last bite of spinach and goat cheese omelet, Greg sighed with satisfaction before pulling Nick into a bacon-flavored kiss. "Can we cuddle on the couch and watch this for a bit? I want to see what they do with pickled herring and marshmallow fluff."

He was asleep before the appetizer round was done. Nick didn't mind much. Sure there was a table full of dishes piled in front of the couch, and yeah there was a glob of jelly drying on the carpet where Greg had flung his knife as he pointed to the television and screamed _'Dude! You can't cook purple potatoes in eight minutes!'_. And even though Nick had spent hours cleaning the place, he really couldn't complain when he was nestled behind his sleeping boyfriend with free range to kiss the textured flesh of Greg's back. And as he felt himself drifting off with the clean smell of Greg filling his senses, his _**heart**_ quieted that tiny nagging voice inside of his _**head**_ - _Greg is __**definitely**__ worth it_.

FIN


End file.
